10 Laws and Principles for a Thriving Kingdom Marriage
The Iconic Kingdom Marriage eSeries | Applying these Laws and Principles to your marriage as a Lifeline to Marital Success
Good afternoon, Icons,
It is with a grateful heart that I come to you after laying my brother to rest this weekend. He had his Military Honors Monday, and we just want to thank each of you for your love, prayers and support at this time. We ask that you continue to do so as our family goes through this difficult season and that we know where our hope lies, in Christ Jesus.
This month is still #WomensHistoryMonth and we are honoring our beloved matriarch Minister Nancy Pulley. She is the backbone of this family holding us together for 45 years and beyond. With all the pain that she has endured, she is still reminding us to hold on to Jesus and that we will make it.
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Now, into today’s lesson:
10 Laws and Principles for a Thriving Kingdom Marriage
In 2011, I was in love.
I found the man that loved me for me, and I was ready to be his wife. Although women are wives before we are asked, I had made up in my mind this man would marry me. He did and we couldn’t be happier.
Did I know what I was doing? Not really.
I saw my mother set an example as a wife and mother, but I wasn’t sure I could measure up to her. I saw my aunts, grandmothers, women in my childhood church demonstrate what a thriving marriage looked like. I had Titus 2:4 training early on because my father believed good training started at home. I just doubt my own abilities.
Having low self-esteem, I worried too much that I could not measure up. Fortunately, next year makes 14 years of living as a married wife and mother showing that I can do the things necessary to love my husband, raise godly kids with him and to follow the Lord.
We are so blessed now we know of the Kingdom message; we understand its power over our covenant relationship in communion with a Holy God. We now share these specific laws and principles to help guild your life, too.
A Kingdom Marriage is a sacred union rooted in God's design and purposes. These principles are not only biblically grounded but are also practical tools for cultivating a fulfilling, Christ-centered marriage. Here's a look at 10 essential laws and principles every Kingdom Marriage should follow:
1. The Law of Covenant
Biblical Foundation: Malachi 2:14 – “The Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.”
A Kingdom Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. This means it's an unbreakable commitment before God. Recognizing this can transform how couples approach challenges, fostering perseverance through tough times.
2. The Principle of Oneness
Biblical Foundation: Genesis 2:24 – "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."
Oneness in marriage reflects spiritual, emotional, and physical unity. It's about being a team, supporting each other, and standing united against the world’s challenges.
3. The Law of Love and Respect
Biblical Foundation: Ephesians 5:33 – “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, and wives are called to respect their husbands. This reciprocal relationship creates a harmonious and nurturing environment.
4. The Principle of Forgiveness
Biblical Foundation: Matthew 6:14-15 – “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
Forgiveness is essential in Kingdom Marriages. It mirrors Christ's forgiveness and ensures that bitterness and resentment don’t take root.
5. The Law of Priority
Biblical Foundation: Exodus 20:3 – “You shall have no other gods before me.”
God must always come first in a Kingdom Marriage, followed by the spouse. When God is the foundation, all other priorities fall into place.
6. The Principle of Communication
Biblical Foundation: Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Open and honest communication, seasoned with grace and kindness, fosters understanding and emotional intimacy between spouses.
7. The Law of Sacrificial Love
Biblical Foundation: John 15:13 – “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.”
Marriage requires selflessness. Putting your spouse’s needs above your own reflects Christ's sacrificial love and strengthens the bond.
8. The Principle of Shared Purpose
Biblical Foundation: Amos 3:3 – “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”
A Kingdom Marriage thrives when spouses share a common purpose and vision. This might involve ministry, raising godly children, or supporting one another’s callings.
9. The Law of Gratitude
Biblical Foundation: 1 Thessalonians 5:18 – “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Gratitude changes perspective. Regularly expressing thanks to God and to each other strengthens emotional bonds and fosters joy.
10. The Principle of Spiritual Growth
Biblical Foundation: 2 Peter 3:18 – “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
Kingdom Marriages should encourage spiritual growth. Regular prayer, Bible study, and worship together can deepen both personal and marital faith.
BREAKING FEAR
In 2022, I wrote my first book about my miscarriage and the fear I experienced in Breaking Fear. In 2024, I re-released the book again with an epilogue about my daughter’s birth. I had a lot to say about fear.
But fear would rear its ugly head again in my life.
February 6, 2025 and on February 24, both my father and my brother passed away. Their deaths have forever impacted me. Through this grief, I learned God can use my personal story, as the story has already told.
I have many fears: of planes, of drowning, of leaving my kids in this chaotic world. Yet, God calls me not to worry. This is how I discovered His Kingdom message.
In Matthew 6:25, Jesus speaks to his disciples, who are worried about their basic needs. He tells them not to worry and instructs them to seek the Kingdom of God first and live righteously.
That my message to you today. I also encourage you to read my books to find strengthen for your trying days.
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Why These Principles Matter
These laws and principles are not just guidelines—they are lifelines for navigating the complexities of marriage. By aligning with God’s Word, couples can build a marriage that reflects His love, withstands trials, and brings glory to His Kingdom. Following these principles fosters mutual respect, unconditional love, and a deep, spiritual connection that strengthens the foundation of the relationship.
We are imperfect people led by a perfect example in Christ Jesus and as we apply his preached message of the Kingdom, we see that we can access the Kingdom’s power here on Earth today. My relationship has ups and downs, but it is these laws and principles that keep us together and loving like the Lord designed.
“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power.” 1 Corinthians 4:20
Applying these Laws and Principles to your marriage as a Lifeline to Marital Success
Here are practical ways Kingdom couples can bring these principles to life in their marriage:
1. The Law of Covenant
Hold regular "covenant check-ins" to reaffirm your commitment to one another and to God.
Celebrate milestones together to reflect on how far you’ve come as a couple under God’s guidance.
2. The Principle of Oneness
Pray and worship together regularly to cultivate spiritual unity.
Make joint decisions in areas like finances, parenting, and lifestyle to strengthen emotional and practical unity.
3. The Law of Love and Respect
Practice acts of love and respect daily—like leaving thoughtful notes or encouraging your spouse verbally.
Respond to disagreements with kindness and understanding rather than criticism.
4. The Principle of Forgiveness
Establish the habit of discussing and resolving conflicts quickly, rather than letting resentment build.
Pray for each other and ask God to help you forgive freely and completely.
5. The Law of Priority
Schedule dedicated time for God and your spouse, like morning devotions or weekly date nights.
Avoid letting work or other commitments overshadow these priorities.
6. The Principle of Communication
Create an open space for honest dialogue—consider weekly talks about goals, concerns, and gratitude.
Use active listening and avoid interrupting or judging when your spouse speaks.
7. The Law of Sacrificial Love
Serve your spouse in small ways, like taking on chores they dislike or surprising them with their favorite treat.
Be willing to adjust personal plans or preferences to support your spouse’s needs.
8. The Principle of Shared Purpose
Set shared goals, such as volunteering together, building a ministry, or raising children in a Christ-centered home.
Find ways to align your talents and passions for Kingdom purposes.
9. The Law of Gratitude
Keep a gratitude journal together, noting things you are thankful for in your marriage and life.
Express thanks to your spouse for even small acts of kindness.
10. The Principle of Spiritual Growth
Engage in Bible study or Christian workshops together to grow your understanding of God’s Word.
Encourage each other’s individual spiritual journeys by sharing insights or praying for one another’s growth.
These actions may seem simple, but their impact can be profound. By living out these principles intentionally, couples can cultivate a marriage that is joyful, resilient, and deeply rooted in God's love and purpose. Would you like me to help tailor these ideas to a specific situation?
Why are laws and principles for Kingdom Marriage important?
Laws and principles for Kingdom Marriage are important because they serve as a foundation for creating a God-centered, thriving, and purposeful union. These guidelines are deeply rooted in biblical truths, offering couples a spiritual and moral compass to navigate their relationship. Here's why they matter:
1. They Reflect God’s Design for Marriage
Marriage was created by God to mirror His covenant with His people (Ephesians 5:25-27). Following these laws helps couples honor His divine blueprint for relationships, fostering love, commitment, and unity.
2. They Promote Stability and Harmony
Biblical principles like forgiveness, love, respect, and communication address core human needs and emotions. They reduce conflict and encourage understanding, creating a harmonious environment for spouses.
3. They Strengthen Spiritual Growth
These principles not only benefit the marriage but also nurture individual spiritual growth. By practicing faith, prayer, and humility, couples draw closer to God and to each other.
4. They Help Navigate Challenges
Every marriage faces trials, but Kingdom principles equip couples with tools to overcome difficulties—through prayer, reliance on God’s Word, and mutual support—rather than relying solely on worldly solutions.
5. They Foster Kingdom Impact
A marriage rooted in spiritual principles becomes a light to others, showcasing the love and grace of Christ. Such marriages can inspire and disciple others to pursue Kingdom values.
By incorporating these laws and principles into daily life, couples can build a lasting, Christ-centered partnership that thrives in love, faith, and purpose. Would you like me to suggest ways couples can share these principles with others?
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