25 to 35: 7 Reasons why A beautiful Journey of Resilience is more important than Looks
Day 18 of our Iconic Women's Empowerment Series
Good morning, Icons,
We are back at it with another week of empowering lessons for you to achieve your goals in life, love, marriage and family.
I know. The content out there is controversial and toxic.
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Marriages aren’t built on wishes and luck, but on hard work and a blueprint for success.
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25 to 35: 7 Reasons why A beautiful Journey of Resilience is more important than Looks
As we grow older, we should grow wiser from the things that were meant to destroy us.
When I was doing my course work to finish up my 1st eBook, it dawned on me that this was the first time in forever I told my story to so many.
I was so depressed and down at this time (if you read Breaking Fear) I wanted to end it all.
I wasn’t worried about my looks but my outlook on life altogether.
I was ready to die.
And yet from that age of 25 ‘til my 38th birthday, it has been a life of service, sacrifice hardship and pain.
But most of all it was resilience.
For my last birthday, I didn’t care about the fat rolls on my back, the gray hair coming out across my hairline. I was thankful for the life I have. I was grateful I choose life for me. Because, I had to fight for my mere existence.
What some of these content creators are missing when they talk about a women’s age: is her story.
They act like our journey ends just because we hit some arbitrary age, as if that is up to us. They want to use that to bash people, something they can’t control like race and gender. Some evil people if you ask me.
Importantly, every person has some story to tell about what they have done and been through that a stranger can never gather from looks.
This reminds me when people say things like “Look at Brittney Spears, she is so pretty and yet so sad.” They continual judge her by her looks not listening to her tell her stories over and over again. Not understanding her unique situation, how everyone in her life had to depend on her for money and survival. People forget she is human.
What does that have to do with her mattering? She matters more than her pretty face.
There silent battles people are facing through as they put on public facade to make it seem everything is okay.
Some influencers are discussed whether women look uglier at 35 as opposed to 23. What a horrible question? As if looks matter to the overall humanity we women have. As if looks decide our worth, our salvation, the love of a good spouse or from our children.
As a person doing this type of work I say: Who cares?
I survived.
R&B singer Aaliyah died at 22. I don’t think her family was concerned with her looks.
I use my own life as an example for others, so those lessons do not go to waste.
I know that everyone life isn’t the same but whether my face is pretty or not (that is always just opinion), it doesn’t begin to show the resilience and the wins I have successfully achieved.
Below we discuss why a beautiful journey matter most.
Reason #1: Time Heals Some Wounds
A cute face does nothing to stop the pain from a sexual assault/harassment, a job loss, a family death or more.
People want to discuss that younger women look better than their older counterparts because they think that is some kind of dig.
Time tells the wise, that is a silly thing to think.
We don’t all look like what we have been through, thank God for that.
Age tends to heal the wounds of the past. As a scar on your hand can fade in the background things, we have struggled with get new light.
Reason #2: Age Comes Wisdom
No matter how much academic success we have, life has a way of teaching us things we cannot know otherwise.
At 25. I had just become an NCO for the United States Army, standing in Iraq working with locals building a school. I got to not only see the horrors or war on the faces of little kids but the optimism in their eyes that we were there to help them get an education.
The tiredness of having to argue with the Iraqi Army about my worth as a woman to be there to lead men did not show on my face, I had to make it home.
The disappointment in the local men that worried more about my presence there than my help that I offered little girls and boys, isn’t on my face.
That is me in the middle. Hot. Tired. Ready to go back stateside. But willing to do the work with our platoon every day. I wasn’t even doing the job I signed up for in a kitchen somewhere.
I was in the best shape of my life physically and even looked “cute” to the guys most times.
What it did show was how fast I had to grow up. How quickly I was called a leader after I put in the work and how I had to do a job to get home.
My age was just my rotation around the sun, but it was resilience that this team relied on that mattered most.
Reason #3: Nowhere but Up
We can’t go back into the pass and do things differently. Beating up older people for their mistakes is a waste of time. Christ didn’t come so we would be stuck in our sins but so that we could be free from them.
Age is just the number of chances you have to get your life right. That is, it.
It isn’t a yardstick to beat people with. It isn’t a a tool to hold over people’s heads.
Instead, it is a reminder how we get up each day working to be better than the day before.
The reason our journey around the sound is so beautiful is because of all the ways we can work to make it right.
All the memories of the good times when the bad seems so frequent we forget.
When you hit rock bottom, you are in a good stop because there is nowhere to go but up.
And we know from age, that we have the power to make it.
Giveaway: 1 Grand Prize Winner
Every month we at Iconic are doing work to reignite, restore and rebuild American sentiment in the areas of life, love, marriage and family.
February is no exception.
Our Giveaway
We are giving away 25 access passes to our Iconic Formula for Marriage Success online course powered by Gumroad.com.
The cost is normally $100.
We are giving away this course to encourage families this month to hold on to their Iconic marriage through these trying modern time. We are their support system with a 12-step blueprint to see them through.
There is more!
When we reach our goal of $2500 during this month, we will select 1 Grand Prize Couple to give a $100 to for a Valentine’s Gift to them.
As always, every donor will receive a reward below.
We believe in the spiritual law of sowing and reaping. When you give, you receive. The more we can share in this work, the more we can help others.
Bonus: When you give today, you get a copy of our eBook “Mrs. Pinky’s Thoughts” as a bonus gift. Make sure you click another away, too.
Donate $25 or more at the button below.
Reason #4: Empathy
Life can knock you on your butt and humble you. That is why holding grudges is a waste of time. Whether it is money issues, relationships woes, problems we don’t see, life has a way to show us empathy towards others.
The journey isn’t beautiful because it is without bumps along the way. It is beautiful because of the bumps we dealt with and were able to come out as better people on the other side.
If you have no experiences to pull from all you have (even as a content creator) is opinions of others, studies and hearsay. You don’t have your own two hands to pull from which makes criticizing others a piece of cake.
But when you have the scars, the sacrifice and the sweat equity to back up your story, you learn to appreciate the things others bring to the table from their own life and have a bit more respect for them.
Reason #5: Patience
This is a hard lesson on our life’s journey. We want what we want when we want it.
And waiting can be difficult.
But sometimes we have no choice to wait.
When I thought I was infertile, I was distraught. I thought my whole life would lead me to be a mother.
I babysat siblings, I worked with kids, I even sold kids clothing at Nordstroms after high school.
If I pray to God and He just outright told me no, I would most likely not understand and listen. So, a series of events had to happen and that is why I didn’t get married at 18 or have kids then either.
Life happened.
But sometimes pushing us humans to wait like the little children we sometimes act like gives us blessing we never saw coming.
And teaches us the power of patience in the process.
Reason #6: Unforeseen Achievements
Never would I have guessed at 25, I would be a wife a mother. My story “Breaking Fear” took place that year.
From the outside I looked normal. But I was slowly dying inside. I dealt with so much internally.
But hey, I was pretty and fit. I had men chasing me. I had a smoking hot body.
I also had alcoholism, major depression, unsatisfactory career advancement and secret emotional abuse in past relationships.
But hey, my looks were there. You feel the sarcasm.
And that isn’t how the story ended. Whew.
Despite how I looked. I was able to overcome it all. I got married. I had a baby. I got to go to college and so much more.
Unforeseen wins can come after we learn patience and put it into practice, even when life forces us.
A beautiful journey of grit, tenacity, and perseverance that age and beauty had nothing to do with.
Reason #7: Being a Better Human
Not that pretty people are bad. I think I am a decent human myself.
But seriously, when your life’s story is more about doing good and being good rather than just looking good you have more to offer the world.
The resilience gives you something to share with others.
My face could be used on magazines and books (like at the back of mine) but it is the lessons God has taught me through my pains that actually show that I care for others.
And I have met other wonderful people because of it.
Looks can come and go but the knowledge we gain from our beautiful journey can be passed down our lineage and used to build social empires that last.
It isn’t the face that makes you Iconic but what you face and how you respond that makes you worth listening to, following and leaving your mark on the world for others to be inspired.
Summary
Shallow people focus on shallow things like looks and objectify others with that information.
But my story from age 25 and beyond is one from me to you, to help you know that you can do anything including marriage if you don’t give up.
Life is more that the toxic arguments, the dehumanizing narrative or the drama that gets clicks on social media.
At some point, you will have to log off and go live.
What will your life story say about you?
A few wrinkles, gray hairs or extra weight is small in the grand scheme of things.
Instead, live a beautiful journey and your beauty from the inside will shine through.
And remember, in everything you do, be Iconic.
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