4 Ways to Bust Red Pill Nonsense for Good
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4 Ways to Bust Red Pill Nonsense for Good
The Red pill movement was borne first out of using the Matrix movie.
Morpheus gave the main character Neo a choice to live forever in unknowingly safe lie (blue pill) or the harsh reality created by the evil machines of the movie (red pill).
A form of decision of living in truth or a comfortable lie.
A few men who were fed up with radical feminism- some who called themselves involuntarily celibate (incels) or men frustrated with modern views on gender- created their own movement to rebuild/rebrand masculinity and to fight back for themselves.
Whether noble intentions or not, the red pill community has grown into a toxicity that most marriage, dating or life coaches want to steer clients away from.
Why do we care at Iconic?
We want you to know the truth and to have a lasting marriage. We want you to be aware of what media is out there and to counter negativity if need be.
More intriguing is the growing female voices, even traditional cons, or some calling themselves “pick me’s” that have fell into the movement as a way to garner male followings or even to attract themselves a mate.
Many are lonely without a man of their own and think misogyny disguised as male empowerment will get them to the altar.
The truth is: The Red Pill community is just as toxic as the radical feminism they try to push back on.
It is led by bitterness, a sense of revenge to get back at modern notions of:
gender roles
fairness
tradition
submission
masculine/feminine dynamics
And the truth is always never found at the extremes of any ideology.
Where meant for good or evil, the red pill movement needs to evolve or die out into something more.
Here are 10 ways to bust some of the popular myths of the Red Pill movement and have the Iconic marriage of your dreams:
Way #1: People are individuals.
Most of the red pill content doesn’t preferences its commentary with that most people do their own thing.
If we wanted to get away from gender roles because they were too strict, going back to toxic gender roles is not the answer either.
That is why I love the Bible.
It lays out what is designed by God, who created marriage, on the roles that best work for men and women.
But I don’t use it as some trad cons do, to bash women and always talk about Ephesians 5:22 and nothing else.
The Bible calls all of us to repentance, submission to God and to do the will of the Lord.
None of this disempowers either gender. It empowers us with the gift of the Holy Spirit.
The women that are worshipped by her family in Proverbs 31 is not because she trashes her man, or he subjugated her. She is not just subservient to him either but held in high regard.
In fact, men are not look down on either. Men are told throughout all of Proverbs tips to lead a good life.
The Bible isn’t a book to treat women as second-class citizens.
At the end of the day, we are individuals responsible for our calling and will answer for the choices we make.
We can each be good or bad, based on who we choose to be not our gender.
#StrongDads June: Iconic Media Giveaway
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June officially kicks of Strong Dads Month, though of by the men over at HotepNation.
As you know I am close to my father, so much so he his birthday is 4 days after mine in July.
All the men in my family are good dads and I know a host of just really good men that are doing the work to raise contributing members of society and to have Iconic families.
This month we want to help empower men to build Iconic social empires with our tips and tools from our “Iconic Formula for Marriage Success” eCourse.
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Way #2: Anyone can cheat in a relationship.
I don’t know why “red pill” men hump so much on female infidelity. Adultery has always been a sin. Men and women equally will have to stand before Christ to account whether the secular society justifies sin or not.
So “red pill” cohorts aren’t doing anything new telling men that women too can cheat. The funny thing is, in the past women had no rights.
So being upset that women now can exercise those rights isn’t helpful.
And now, because of a man named Ronald Reagan, people can get no-fault divorce. Just like 9 men decided Roe v Wade, men played a part in where we are today.
Women are just as capable of being decent human being as bad ones as men are.
Way #3: Grievances are not Solutions
The majority of the red pill" community, like 3rd and 4th wave feminism, is outrage and grievances. They talk often about how terrible, miserable and horrible women are. These people speak as if women are evil incarnate with infantilized language and advice.
They don’t sound like the even like females.
From a male coach Corey Wayne and his “Understanding Relationships”
“Most of the red pill community on the Internet is a collection of wounded men who don’t understand women, haven’t had any success with quality women and guys with serious mommy and self-esteem issues. The hallmark of the toxic red pill community is their judgmental attitude and bitterness towards women that belittles them, infantilizes them and seeks to build wounded insecure men up by tearing women down with dehumanizing and condescending language, words, theories and a cult-like belief in meaningless platitudes. As Zan Perrion says, “A man who loves women is loved by women.” Real Men take extreme ownership of their lives, choices, mistakes, blind spots and poor romantic choices, because they know that is the only way to shape and change their destiny to reach their full potential. A man who blames others for his poor choices, knowledge gaps and blind spots becomes unable to fix himself, his life and become the man he needs to be to attract what he really wants and deserves in life.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
The toxicity comes in how they speak about women they want, in an authoritarian way always emphasis on Ephesians 5: 22 skipping right over 21 call to submit to one another.
Picture from Understanding Relationships
The men are never shown they may have made poor choices, lacked leadership or did anything wrong. Instead, everything is on how women are always at fault and how they just do so much wrong to men.
In actuality, a break is rarely all the fault of one person.
Way #4: Taking Ownership of One’s Own Situation
The Red Pill community focus is too much on what women do or do not do and not on what the man can do himself.
More than likely a guy has had many female encounters as does not listen to the common flaws or issues women say they have with him.
They instead blame their weight, money and looks then do nothing to change instead.
This is not a position of empowerment but one of passivity.
Instead, true freedom, strength and liberty takes on the form of ownership over one’s own life, body and the decision that one makes even when they turn out wrong.
Yes, someone can do you do dirty. Yes, things can go wrong. But you can only change you and your situation when you take control of your own life.
When we take responsibility, we take ownership of behavior and its consequences. We accept our choices and their outcomes – without blaming others or life’s circumstances. This makes us strong and resilient.
The degree of freedom we experience in life is a direct proportion of the amount of responsibility we take. Responsibility, Freedom, Empowerment, and Mental Health | Psychology Today
One of the reasons I was not a good girlfriend in the beginning is I always look outward for my missteps never realizing my own power in the men I choose, in my looks that I could change and the power of my yes or no.
When we consistently blame society, others, God or even our upbringing we render our liberty over to those other things as well and shuck responsibility to be the leaders in our own lives.
The red pill community turn over their dominance of being men to their grievances. And that is not healthy.
Many in that space lack self-awareness. They do not hear how they sound to everyone else, nor do they care.
There cannot be freedom without self-awareness. To be free means to have choices to choose from. The only way to have choices is to become self-aware, so self-awareness gives us life’s choices. Self-awareness is having clarity about who we are. This includes knowing our personality, strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and emotions. Responsibility, Freedom, Empowerment, and Mental Health | Psychology Today
When you take on the personal responsibility to fix your own life, marriage and outlook, you take control over what you can do in your situation; that is where empowerment comes from.
Relationships are not “build a bear”, you cannot bully or force someone into acting right.
But there are ways to attract the right one and to make it work.
It takes self-love, self-awareness and the right tools to succeed.
Key Takeaways
I understand the need for men to have their own spaces and areas in which to discuss the things they want.
That is actually a positive need in today’s world where men suffer too.
In doing that, there is no need to disempower women in the process even if it comes from the mouths of women.
We need healthy balance in media, podcasts and content that can uplift our fellow human being without dehumanizing and hurting others.
The red pill movement can be more if those involved see the harm in it and call it out or they will be no better than the radical feminist they seek to combat.
We women need you men. We love our men, our fathers and friends.
A society works best when men and women live in harmony and work together to build.
When we build together in peace, that is Iconic.
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