5 Ways Relationships Reveal Things About Ourselves
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5 Ways Relationships Reveal Things About Ourselves
Let us jump into today’s discussion.
I asked you Icons what you’ve learned about yourself over the course of relationships, and you answered.
Relationships, whether good or bad, teaches us things, even about ourselves.
We can use these lessons to grow and change to best suit our final mate.
So, I asked:
Lesson #1: A big heart/Give Up too Easily.
A relationship can show your limits. A big heart shows your compacity to love. You aren’t stuck on a specific list which can open you up to a bigger pool of suitors to choose from. Our heart can love limitlessly if we let it. But giving up too easily, makes us miss a chance of a lifetime. Giving up is the easier route for sure but don’t count yourself out so early. Believe it can be done, and you will find your love mate soon.
Lesson #2: Taking people for Granted.
If we have been hurt or with all the bad news, it is easy to pessimistic these days. We don’t trust people to be for our best interest and thank people are only being nice to use us in some way. I understand and have been there. But people deserve a change to show you who they are, which might be a good thing.
Case Study #1: Noah and Allie
Sometimes we take people for granted because we think there will be someone else like them or something better out there. We see celebrities and friends out there do it all the time.
We get “bored”. That is what my last Twitter Space was talking about. People grow bored. And then they get ready to dump their current mate. It is because there mind is not made up what they want out of a relationship. They want what the church wants, what their parents want, what society wants.
Noah loved Allie. Things happened and they had to break up. At a glance in the newspaper Allie saw a chance to run into Noah again.
Noah called her bored. Was he right?
What do you want? And what are you doing to secure that and have that for life?
Lesson #3: Kindness is never wasted.
The law of sowing and reaping means that whatever we do will come back to us in some way. So even if we get screwed over by someone, we were kind to, God is watching, and it won’t go to waste. At the least, you stayed true to your own character and became the person you decided to be.
Lesson #4: Growth never stops
We don’t stay the same age throughout our marriage. Changings in career, adding kids and/or pets, and aging parents leaves room for growth.
Many people think growth with someone means growing apart from their spouse which is a sad state of relationships today.
Growing in life and love should be the goal to a lasting lifetime together.
Case Study #2: Celebration after Divorce
Celebrity Tia Mowry left her husband of 14 years Corey Hardrict. When asked this was what she said:
“When you start to really work on yourself, love yourself, know your value and know your worth, then all of a sudden, there’s this awakening. And it’s not easy,” the Sister Sister star continued. “It’s a hard journey, but at the end of the day, I feel like it is so, so worth it.”
Fans praise Tia Mowry after she reveals reason why she and Cory Hardrict got divorced (yahoo.com)
Did she not know how to work on herself BEFORE marriage and know how to love herself while being a wife and mother?
Why is it that her journey meant her leaving her husband and breaking up her family?
She credited therapy for helping her through her divorce and explained why she viewed her split as a “celebration.”
A what? Nonsense. No way breaking up a household and going separate ways is a time for celebration.
The vows do not say “I will stay with you until I am no longer happy”.
Happiness is a personal choice and not something you can find in another person. You have to have a meaningful purposeful life and for wives that is in support of our husband’s vision. Modern people tend to seek validation outside of their marriage and then find their marriage lacking.
Instead, they should be building something, and that building is the motivation to stick it out.
But there are also differences: Happiness seems to be a transient state whereas meaningfulness is more enduring. We experience happiness in the present when our needs are satisfied, while meaningfulness involves tying together the past, present, and future in a way that makes sense and reinforces our positive attributes. For example, having more money may make you somewhat happier, but whether it makes your life more meaningful depends on how you spend it.
The disrespect. Self-love is a celebration to the point you break up your family???
I digress.
Listen, you can love yourself and grow as an individual without breaking up a family or disrespecting your vows and your mate.
Women who celebrate breaking up a family to find meaning or happiness are selfish and do not understand what the union of a marriage entails. Do self love work beforehand, teaches one self-love so they do not have to break up their Iconic marriage to find it.
Do the work and win.
Don’t know how, we at Iconic Media got you with our new Iconic eCourse.
Iconic Formula For Marriage Success Update & More
Because we have not met our fundraising/pre-registration goals, the eCourse launch date has been pushed to June 1, 2023.
That does not mean we will stop writing articles or doing the work, it just means we have to stretch out the time we can deliver more.
We need your support to get this all done so that we work to empower marriages nationwide.
Thank you in advance.
Iconic Formula for Marriage Success” a new online teaching for 10-20 couples.
This 30-day online course will teach you and your spouse 12 foundational principles to help you map a 25-year success plan for your marriage.
Core lessons include:
How to Cultivate the Mindset for a Successful Marriage
How to Develop the Mental Fortitude to Combat Marriage Challenges
How to Develop Your Marriage’s Vision and Mission Plan
How to Practice Self-Love So You Know How Best to Love Your Spouse
How to Develop a Financial Plan for Your Social Empire’s Success
How to Develop Effective Communication Strategies Based on Your Spouse’s Preferred Methods and more!
At the end of this empowering course, you will receive:
A master blueprint for success in your marriage
An online support network to collaborate with other couples.
And an exclusive invitation to join Iconic’s 12-month marriage coaching program.
This new course is in beta stage, and this will be the first launch.
As such, you have the opportunity to take full advantage of being among the first group to test this course and to receive lifetime access to its current and updated material.
The final course price will be $300.
Premium Course Rate: Register at the button right now for $100 and start when we launch.
Here’s how to get started:
Click the button and pay $100 or more towards Iconic today.
I, Nicole Pinkston, will send you a follow-up email to join our private network, Iconic Media.
On June 1, 2023, you will receive full access to the online course inside the network.
Each day, Nicole will lead you in an online discussion about marriage and how to strengthen yours.
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News: If you have a community group, church, youth organization or more that maybe interested in a new marriage online class, tell them about us here at Iconic
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Lesson #5: We are imperfect.
We are human. We make mistakes, have disabilities, have accidents. That does not stop our capacity to love or to receive love. We have quirks, personality traits, phobias and more that shape our uniqueness that will be special to someone. Knowing what ails us helps us navigate more. effectively.
I have PTSD from trauma military sexual trauma, one of many things I cope with today.
It was hard on my husband and I at first. We then also had to overcome my miscarriage and the grief that came with that.
Stress is hard for me to handle. It is not typical stress like most people, but specific stressors related to my other traumatic experience that bled into everyday life.
Knowing this, I went through a process that got me to where I am today recognizing these stressors and dealing with them in a healthy way.
Being aware of our issues is wisdom. Because when we know better, we do better, and we allow those who love us to help empower us throughout our marriage.
Read more in how I overcame such an ordeal in my eBook, Breaking Fear.
Case Study #3: Jessica Jones defeats abusive villain
In Marvel’s Defenders, Jessica Jones is a superhero who was under the mental control of Killgrave, an evil villain.
A typical abuser that uses abusive language to justify his rape of his victim, often explaining away his choices with his upbringing and his powers, he still chooses to do what he did and takes no responsibility.
In this show, she is even giving the chance even to leave him and refuses to do so at the time because of his powerful mental hold on her even when he stops his powers.
The writers of the show were able to talk about mental illness and how it can hold some people trapped in an abusive relationship.
The show explores how even with powers, Jessica felt helpless but with courage and her own mind, she was able to defeat this villain with real power.
What do you think of Marvel’s handling of Jessica’s fight for mental freedom?
It is not Jessica’s abilities that set her free, but her own mindset change that really makes her a hero.
We learn what not to tolerate and how strong we are from some relationships too.
Takeaway
Relationships reveal lessons to us, if we pay attention.
Even once we wipe away the tears or triumph to a blissful wedding day, we learn about ourselves.
What we do with that knowledge can determine if we find Iconic love that thrives and lasts a generation.
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