Army of One: What it Means to be One Flesh
Military ideals and how Biblical Principles can help our Marriages Win
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Army of One: What it Means to be One Flesh
We often hear people tell us in marriages that we should be one flesh.
And as we are empowering you this month, I thought about my army career and how before I married him, my husband was my battle buddy.
A battle buddy in the Army is like a wing man is to pilots or Airmen in the AirForce.
And we were both in the same squad.
It means was had lots of jobs to do and tasks that focused on our support units’ mission more so than anything romantic we do now.
Yet, that ability for us to work as a team, as many couples who fall in love at their job seem to realize, is that we were able to carry that same work ethic into our personal lives.
An army of one was a confusing slogan that was later replaced because it wasn’t the greatest.
The point was to let troops know that they were a team, that they moved, reacted and worked in unison.
“One mission” and “one fight” are some other ways that I have heard this slogan phrased as.
Fortunately, that is the same thing for marriage.
In the book, Iconic, I wrote how couples who are on the same page are like soldiers as they match each other’s step walking side by side in the same cadence.
What is One Flesh?
When we talk about our marriages, we say that our spouse is our “other half” because we have become one flesh.
What does that actually mean, though? According to Got Questions. com, a biblical answer site,
The term “one flesh” comes from the Genesis account of the creation of Eve. Genesis 2:21-24 describes the process by which God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam’s side as he slept. Adam recognized that Eve was part of him—they were in fact “one flesh.” The term “one flesh” means that just as our bodies are one whole entity and cannot be divided into pieces and still be a whole, so God intended it to be with the marriage relationship. There are no longer two entities (two individuals), but now there is one entity (a married couple). There are a number of aspects to this new union. (Source)
This means that as couples that we are not consider individuals, but we are now seen as one entity. At his job, my husband is just a half of our marital unit.
But how does this help us?
It makes us realize that without our other half, we are not finished or complete. We are not whole as a family. It is 2 becoming 1. As a marital union we represent Christ and the Church (the body).
In the Army, there are different jobs. There is the infantry, the artillery, the support guys and etc.
No one is more or less important, sorry officers. Every single part makes up the army; an army of one.
So, too shall your marriage relationship be. You live in the same house, you build the same direction, you move in the same way.
Emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, financially, and in every other way, the couple is to become one. Even as one part of the body cares for the other body parts (the stomach digests food for the body, the brain directs the body for the good of the whole, the hands work for the sake of the body, etc.), so each partner in the marriage is to care for the other. Each partner is no longer to see money earned as “my” money, but rather as “our” money. Ephesians 5:22-33 and Proverbs 31:10-31 give the application of this “oneness” to the role of the husband and to the wife, respectively. (Source)
In the Army, that is one of the first things they do when you arrive at your boot camp location. They strip you of your civilian individual notions and they start from day one molding and build you as a member team. (Hooah! Sorry, I had flashbacks.)
Everyone gets up, marches, showers, dresses and moves together. You get pushups, together. You sing cadences together. You move with one another.
The Battle Buddy system is one in which you look out for each other, at the very last stage of boot camp soldiers are given a little more leeway and aren’t marched around by their Drill. Instead, they make “buddy teams”, two people walking and being around.
“Let me check with my spouse” isn’t a statement to say because marriage is controlling. It is to respect the nature of the relationship. It is to honor that my husband might need to know this information. It is respecting his position in our oneness.
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My forever battle Buddy
That’s what I call my husband, my forever battle buddy (Airforce would say wingman). We went to chow (eating) together, we worked together, and we got in trouble together.
Yes, one time we were running late (I can’t remember whose fault it was) and we got to the location for the meet up and had to drop right there. Together as one unit, doing our pushups because we were not on time.
We knew better from our training.
Marriage is like that. You are to work in this oneness. It isn’t about you or me, but us.
Becoming “one” is about keeping the perspectives of others outside of your marriage and standing in solidarity. Becoming One in Your Marriage - How to Be One Flesh in Your Marriage (blackandmarriedwithkids.com)
We are a team.
Did you see the Squid Games tug of war episode? Whew, that was a good one.
It looked like some of the people we like were going to finally lose. There was no way they can bet this game. The other team looked so much stronger.
They were going to die, for sure. But teamwork!
Working together as a team literally saved their lives. And that is the key to marriage.
Being life or death, marriage is about getting the tango between the two of you right.
(Trigger Warning: This is if you don’t do shows that are hard or may have death involved.)
Fortunately for us marriage is less like Squid Games and more like a dance of love, ambition and work ethic. Know this, you two will do amazing.
The Tango
Dancing is a way to understand what we’ve discussed today. When you dance, the leader is just as important as the follower. Get the moves wrong, you step on toes.
Not working together, you step on your dreams and diminish your goals.
At Iconic, we want you to love your marriage and love being married.
That takes two people working and moving in their lanes with the overall family in mind.
When you miscommunicate, loss intimacy, ignore date nights and neglect each other, you both lose.
Instead, get it together. Practice your steps. Discuss what you must.
And in everything you do, be Iconic.
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