Back to the Basics: 7 Tricks to a Healthy Sex Life
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Good Wednesday, Icons,
It is “hump day”, and I hope you are having a great one.
We are going back over the basics of a healthy marriage with topics that might seem obvious but can get lost as we live our day to day lives.
I hope you are reaching your goals in life, love, marriage and family as we work our way through 2023.
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Back to the Basics: 7 Tricks to a Healthy Sex Life
Too many people are caught up in social media world that they forget their time is limited.
How you split your time between your career, spouse, children and self, will have a lasting impact on your marriage.
Sex is all the rage in media used in movies, advertising and even on the news.
And now singles are bragging about how much of it they have and how often.
But do not believe the hype!
A married sex life CAN be fulfilling and wonderful if you and your spouse prioritize getting in the sheets and spending time with each other.
Breaking Fear
As you know my 1st eBook is Breaking Fear, my personal story of our miscarriage which was so devastating.
I had a crazy sex life and thought that because I fell out of the will of God for my life, I was going through punishment.
He was punishing me by taking away our child.
I did not want to live in a world where I could not be a mother, where I could not have our child.
But from my test, God pulled out 5 core lessons that made me live again.
These 5 core lessons will teach you how to overcome whatever fears you have and WIN.
Not a little but WIN BIG.
Get a copy of this book today by upgrading and becoming a Paid subscriber to Iconic. We cannot do this without your support Icons.
Here are 7 Tricks to having the a Healthy Sex life that leaves you fulfilled and with enough purposes to stop arguing so much online:
Bed death is not inevitable in marriage. In fact, many couples find that their sex lives get better as their marriage progresses. 4 Ways Married Couples Can Keep Having Great Sex | Psychology Today
Trick #1: Relax
You don't have to have sex every day or multiple times in one session. You do what you and your spouse can muster up. It is okay to take breaks or weeks off and comeback into full swing.
Stop jugging how often or how little you two do it by what or how often others happened to do it.
Don't compare yourself to your younger self the last time or 10 years ago when you can hang off a chandelier and now you have gained weight, had medical ups and downs, and lived a long life.
Comparision is a thief of joy. Live in the moment to moment not trying to compare each rump to the next.
Pressure can be a mode killer. You can schedule a time and date but still allow space for spontaneity. The kids, if an issue, work out how to work out around them.
Make sure the idea is to get in and have fun not only to get it on and get off.
Trick #2: Get a Medical Check up
Sometimes you might judge your performance harshly when it is out of your control. Vaginal dryness, Erectile disfunction or many other health disorders can impact your sex life.
Getting a yearly physical with lab and blood work can tell you what you are facing like low iron, low vitamins and minerals or even if you have diabetes.
Thyroid problems, Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, and chronic fatigue all can wreck your system and affect your ability to meet you and your partner’s needs.
Your tiredness might not be just from overworking with chores, a career and kids but could be the start of an autoimmune disorder or something worse.
So, make sure you keep up and do what you can to know your health status. You might be hard on your spouse or yourself when it is something out of your control.
Trick #3: Focus on intimacy.
They are the love of your life. Remember that this is a bonding experience meant to be intimate between the two of you. Don't rush (unless it is meant to be a fun quicky).
Think of the good times and not a resentful argument or one brewing in your brain. Caress and admire the body they have and the love you share.
Focus on the little things like:
Handholding
hugs
Talking
Don't just try to be hot and steamy, let your emotions connect as you go at it too.
Intimacy is not just intercourse but that deeper connection.
Intimacy requires being able to share parts of yourself with others, as well as the ability to listen to and support other people. These relationships are reciprocal—you are sharing parts of yourself, and others are sharing with you. Intimacy vs. Isolation: Stage 6 of Psychosocial Development (verywellmind.com)
Without intimacy done right, insecurities can grow in your marriage picking at the foundation of your relationship creating resentment, anger and distrust.
Ideas of infidelity, porn or even divorce creep in. Check out our other article on ways to overcome marriage insecurities.
Trick #4: Nonsexual fun together To Get the Party Started
This piggybacks off of number three in that sex starts in our minds firstly.
Sex starts way before you pull your pants off. It has to be in our heart and mind to get ourselves in the mood and the headspace.
Try having more fun together before that starts up. And not just foreplay.
Start off with a relaxing night, maybe some wine or go on a date. Do things that interest you too that is relaxing, calming, exciting and even loving. Sometimes doing those things will let to a romp session that is the cherry on top.
Trick #5: Make Time
We are busy. We have apps for everything, work from home and are on the go.
Our marriage matters so we must make the time necessary to spend quality time with our spouses. It can even be you can schedule quick messages to go out to your spouse over the phone, plan vacations and even work on doing something special that gets you both excited.
An example of this could look like: the 2-2-2 plan. Every 2 weeks a date night, Every 2 months a weekend a way, and every 2 years a week-long vacation.
This is not feasible for everyone I know, but it is just an idea. We know that spontaneous actions are fun and exciting, don’t stop doing that.
Additionally, sometimes when we make plans that we know are coming we can rest in the knowledge that our spouse is prioritizing time and the relationship.
Trick #6: Get More Educated
Never stop learning and growing with your mate. Yes, we become knowledgeable about what moves and actions turns them on but we can never know too much.
Seek out books, talk to coaches and therapist or even spend time exploring new things with your spouse.
The first step in sex education for married couples is to understand how marriage comes with many expectations. As we mentioned before, now that the institution of marriage is not only for stability and for providing financial sustenance; rather, it is for love, fulfillment, and personal satisfaction, our sense of self-worth is directly tied to marriage and THAT inherently can set us up for failure.
Sex Education for Married Couples: How to Keep the Spark Alive (themarriagerestorationproject.com)
For example, men could know that many women need more than clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, and some do not get off from penetration alone.
Women can know that men love passionate touch too and aren’t just ready to stick it in and that is it.
Understand YOUR mate is a process of learning over time and openly communicating your needs in a vulnerability some are afraid of.
If you want healthy sex life, you might need to spend time in a book and learning what you don’t know or how to build on what you do.
Trick #7: Think outside of the box
Marriage is a life-long journey. For monogamous sex that lasts, you must be creative Not just with positions but with toys, tools and whatever else you feel comfortable doing consensually. Use food, fingers and lips and have fun.
There are books and games that are available to help you if your brain is stuck.
Try new locations, even in your house if you can, and get the ideas flowing. It might even make you laugh in the process.
Try to be sneaky and a closed beach or park and depending on you and your spouse size and transportation, take a road trip.
Finding new ways to share new members makes the sex great and the love greater.
Do you need more way to build a better union? We have you covered.
Solutions: We are moving into the online e-Course space to help you win.
That is right, you have seen in many newsletters that we are presenting a solution for 10-20 real world couples in 2023: “The Iconic Formula for Marriage Success” 30-day program in June.
It has finally been put together and is in its testing phase.
Iconic Media Presents our new course hosted by Nicole Pinkston aka Mrs. Pinky.
This 30-day online course will teach you and your spouse 12 foundational principles to help you map a 25-year success plan for your marriage.
Core lessons include:
How to Cultivate the Mindset for a Successful Marriage
How to Develop the Mental Fortitude to Combat Marriage Challenges
How to Develop Your Marriage’s Vision and Mission Plan
How to Practice Self-Love So You Know How Best to Love Your Spouse
How to Develop a Financial Plan for Your Social Empire’s Success
How to Develop Effective Communication Strategies Based on Your Spouse’s Preferred Methods and more!
At the end of this empowering course, you will receive:
A master blueprint for success in your marriage
An online support network to collaborate with other couples.
And an exclusive invitation to join Iconic’s 12-month marriage coaching program.
This new course is in beta stage, and this will be the first launch.
As such, you have the opportunity to take full advantage of being among the first group to test this course and to receive lifetime access to its current and updated material.
The final course price will be $300.
Premium Course Rate: Register at the button right now for $100 and start when we launch.
Here’s how to get started:
Click the button and pay $100 or more towards Iconic today.
I, Nicole Pinkston, will send you a follow-up email with instructions.
On June 1, 2023, you will receive full access to the online course inside Iconic Media sponsored by Gumroad.com
You will be sent “Iconic” the eBook for your pre-registration needed for the course.
News: If you have a community group, church, youth organization or more that maybe interested in a collaboration and discount for the new marriage e-Course, tell them about us here at Iconic Media.
They can reach out to me at: nicole.pinkston1@gmail.com to setup group training events and get discounts through my affiliate program.