Conscious Marriage: 5 Ways to Be Intentional with Your Communication
Iconic Media is the Number 1 Hub for Marriage Success and Empowerment
Good morning, Icons,
I hope you have reached your goals in April; we have one week left.
The first four months of the year are coming to an end. What have you accomplished?
I pray that you were blessed in love, life, marriage and family.
Today we will revisit Conscious Marriage and one of its traits.
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Before we jump into today’s topic, let us refresh.
Conscious Marriage
First let us define what conscious means and then how we combine that with marriage.
Conscious is a process of intention and understanding. It is a thought-out critical thinking way to view the world in which you do not just accept the information you are given but you process it through research, experiences and your own educational understanding.
The author of the book "Getting the Love You Want, A guide for Couples" by Harville Hendrix PhD , lays out how we can have the love we desire if we use the conscious side of our brains as opposed (or conjunction with) the unconscious area or "old brain" as he puts it. (Pg 11).
To read more on what a Conscious Marriage is in more detail, we opened the paid article for all of you to view below. We won’t rewrite all that information here.
A Conscious marriage is one of intent. It is understanding we make choices and being direct about them. It isn’t the same doing things due to tradition, genetics or other “unconscious’ ways from childhood attachments or more.
The author of the book "Getting the Love You Want, A guide for Couples" by Harville Hendrix PhD, Conscious Marriages are laid out.
Point 1 is “Take responsibility for communicating your needs and desires to your spouse”.
But how do we do that; take responsibility like this? That is what today’s writing will show you.
Conscious Marriage: 5 Ways to Be Intentional with Your Communication
Way #1: We drop assumptions.
In unconscious marriages we cling to the belief that someone should intuitively know what our needs are and meet them because that is what parents/our caretakers did for us.
We think that spouses who were trained know exactly what we want and will deliver it.
So instead of speaking up or talking to our loved ones we grow resentful because they aren’t mind readers. This is not the same as getting upset about things you did mention.
This is wanting your spouse to act how you think they should by your own upbringing and standards.
That is unrealistic.
Way #2: We understand each other’s uniqueness.
In this type of relationship, we understand people are individuals and are not our doppelgängers. This means that we are aware that we must make compromises and adjust to the individual we marry.
It does not mean we accept abuse or toxicity, but that we learn to grow who we are with not who we want them to be.
Steve Urkel was uncool, a nerd and clumsy. Laura never noticed how much she loved him until she accepted him for who he was and realized that he was perfect for her as he was not who she wanted (Stephan).
By understand who we are with, that makes matching their communication style easier. An introvert, for example is not going to be outgoing or ready to be in a crowd.
Way #3: We observe
People tell you what they want many times from their actions and behaviors.
Conscious people in these types of relationships watch their loved ones looking for signs of good and bad things. They can see frustrations building from burnout, they can then anticipate stress and reach out to help.
Below is a video of from a Non-Verbal Communications expert. See if you can pick up any clues before he tells you.
People tell a lot about themselves without saying a word. Paying close attention to be more effective at communicating your needs and wants wills save your relationship.
Way #4: We assess what goes right and wrong in disagreements
Conscious minded people know they are not always right or wrong. But instead of taking defense in many ways, they make sure to assess the entire situation to look for solutions.
The opposite of this is always waiting for communication to be an attack, to be super defensive and only listening to respond.
Instead, people who are conscious can understand that life is full of ebbs and flows and maybe there was a misstep/mistake on how something was done or said that can be fixed.
Consciously minded spouses are not rigid in their own ways and accept that something might not look the right way.
Way #5: We are Disciplined
Discipline is a part of wisdom. People who are conscious can effectively communicate with being controlled and calculating. This sense of awareness keeps us from erratic behavior, toxic outbursts and unthinking actions.
People who have self-control know how to listen and how to activate. They know how to lead from the front and see problems before they happen.
These types of people know their strengths and weakness, proving to themselves their own limits while pushing beyond them.
This means that they plan and have strategy on how to achieve goals, learn to compromise and how to pivot when things go awry. They can toughen through marriage challenges, won’t succumb to sexual temptation and can advance in the growth of their relationships through training programs, therapy and more.
Key Takeaway
Its isn't Conscious to nag about something you never mentioned. to be irrational or to be difficult.
It isn't Conscious to not say anything or assume your spouse "should know" after being with you for all these years.
YOU cannot change your spouse.
However, you can make it clear to them what it is you want by talking to them in a loving way.
This is why effective communication is a skill and it takes time.
You won’t master the ability to get your needs and wants met overnight. Give yourself and your partner the grace for trying.
And again, you cannot make your spouse do anything. Therefore, it is better to get to know the real them before marriage and understand what you will and won't accept before you say I do.
With great communication skills, you will mitigate many of your marriage challenges and meet them head on to win.
And that is being Iconic.
Solutions: We are moving into the online e-Course space to help you win.
That is right, you have seen in many newsletters that we are presenting a solution for 10-20 real world couples in 2023: “The Iconic Formula for Marriage Success” 30-day program in June.
Building that program costs money. And this is your opportunity to help us be the counterculture in 2023 to the mainstream narratives about relationships, family, marriage and love.
This 30-day online course will teach you and your spouse 12 foundational principles to help you map a 25-year success plan for your marriage.
Core lessons include:
How to Cultivate the Mindset for a Successful Marriage
How to Develop the Mental Fortitude to Combat Marriage Challenges
How to Develop Your Marriage’s Vision and Mission Plan
How to Practice Self-Love So You Know How Best to Love Your Spouse
How to Develop a Financial Plan for Your Social Empire’s Success
How to Develop Effective Communication Strategies Based on Your Spouse’s Preferred Methods and more!
At the end of this empowering course, you will receive:
A master blueprint for success in your marriage
An online support network to collaborate with other couples.
And an exclusive invitation to join Iconic’s 12-month marriage coaching program.
This new course is in beta stage, and this will be the first launch.
As such, you have the opportunity to take full advantage of being among the first group to test this course and to receive lifetime access to its current and updated material.
The final course price will be $300.
Premium Course Rate: Register at the button right now for $100 and start when we launch.
Here’s how to get started:
Click the button and pay $100 or more towards Iconic today.
I, Nicole Pinkston, will send you a follow-up email to join our private network, Iconic Media.
On June 1, 2023, you will receive full access to the online course inside the network.
Each day, Nicole will lead you in an online discussion about marriage and how to strengthen yours.
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News: If you have a community group, church, youth organization or more that maybe interested in a collaboration and discount for the new marriage e-Course, tell them about us here at Iconic Media.
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