Day 3: Grief Isn’t Backsliding — It’s Sacred Ground
40 Days of Mrs. Pinky Thoughts: Faith, Fire & Forward Motion | Week 1: Voice and Vulnerability
Provision, Power & Partnership: Rethinking the 50/50 Myth in Marriages : Our Latest eGuide for Premium Subscribers!
Provision, Power & Partnership: Rethinking the 50/50 Myth in Marriage
🔥 This ain’t your average couple’s debate. It’s a call to rebuild with clarity, purpose, and mutual mission.
👊🏽 Let’s talk:
→ When provision becomes control
→ Why 50/50 leaves couples emotionally bankrupt
→ How to build a real financial partnership rooted in Kingdom wisdom
Reviews Are In!
"Shaped by culture, not Christ" . . . how Nicole describes the way providing within marriage has been regarded, historically.
Something that stood out to me in this eGuide, "Provision, Power & Partnership: Reclaiming Covenant in a Culture of Control", was Nicole's point that "we've confused control with covenant". Rather than recognizing historical value of "shared leadership" and "mutual respect", which Nicole attributes to Biblical teachings, some elements of the culture today promote women being kept "under control" to maintain order.
Her eGuide, traces the change in household roles of providing over time, and their relation to historical events and circumorbital roles of men and women, and using historical context gives a very reasoned and rational take on provider stances, providing historical context for what led women to enter the workforce, and start earning an income. It also shows that women did what needed to be done for their households to survive changing and trying times throughout history.
Nicole points out in this eGuide that nowhere in the Bible is it stated that women are to remain in the home, rather than work, pointing out examples within the Bible of women working, engaging in business, trade, and government.
My takeaway from this eGuide is that what's wrong in how the roles of men and women in marriages today goes back to earthly ideas, not from Biblical teaching, and not from God. It is an "earthly" idea that women should not work, but should be at home. It is an "earthly" idea that marriage is a "50/50" business, not a "shared mission" based on respect for each other.
Or, as Nicole put it, it's "culture talking, not Christ".
Breaking down the realities and misconceptions of roles within marriages today, a very effective and concise eGuide for today's couples. - Greg Bulla
Not a paid subscriber yet?
🟡 Free subscribers get a taste—but premium subscribers get the full feast. ⬆️ Upgrade today to unlock the entire Iconic digital library—including 7 books, preorder of Book 8, print options, and exclusive audio + podcast content (the Foundational Level)
Your subscription helps us:
✅ Provide free resources to those in need
✅ Power our Kingdom Fatherhood Award and other monthly giveaways
✅ Fund our behind the scenes production of “Mrs. Pinky Cooks” mission and “Kingdom Marriage: An Iconic Vision” coming out this fall.
Click below and consider sowing into this ministry:
👉 Upgrade or support here:
Day 3: Grief Isn’t Backsliding — It’s Sacred Ground
40 Days of Mrs. Pinky Thoughts: Faith, Fire & Forward Motion
Sometimes the pain of grief hits me and makes me doubt if my faith is strong. My dad told us for years that he would die so much so that it always lingered in my mind. Every emergency trip to the doctors, every late-night phone call, was a test of my faith of whether God would call him home or to show my faith lacking.
I don’t think he meant to worry us; he wanted us prepared.
My grandfather died at 47 so my father was leery of that age, then 50, and then 60. Until one time he was hopeful to see 64. He died 2/6 at the age of 63. And while my dad always told me to have my black dress ready, I almost broke down in Ross when I was finally buying mine for his funeral. I never wanted to buy that dress, and this year, I had no choice.
On 2/24, I sent my husband a text through tears “Ronnie died” and I dropped my phone and fell to my knees. My younger brother was gone. How five days after we buried dad did, he have to leave too? My mind could not handle it. This was so surreal.
Being a veteran and knowing about death, from losing our child, I still was unready. No amount of singing Amazing Grace, prayer, or scripture had me ready. My birthday is next week and it’s hard for me because it is the 1st one not tied to my dad’s day. The last time we partied together was my 36th the age my brother passed away as.
My faith had been tested once more. Breaking Fear, again, came to my soul. Again, life hit me in my heart, and I would fall to my knees, right where God would want me to be.
There’s a lie that floats around in faith circles—the kind that creeps up when tears fall too long or pain lingers past the prayer meeting. It whispers:
"You should be stronger by now."
"Didn’t you already give this to God?"
"Aren’t you backsliding by still feeling this?"
But here’s the truth I’ve come to know in the marrow of my soul: Grief isn’t rebellion. It’s reverence. It means something mattered. That someone mattered. And letting ourselves feel that is not weakness—it’s worship.
🕊️ Grief Is Sacred Because It Marks the Shift
The day my father passed, something deep in me untethered. Not just because I loved him—but because our bond was layered. There was grief… and relief. Sadness… and peace. Questions… and clarity.
And if I’m honest? That emotional mix felt like betrayal at first. But the Spirit reminded me: “This is sacred ground.” Because grief, when given to God, becomes holy. It becomes the soil where new identity, boundaries, and freedom are planted.
When my brother died, it was a stab to the heat. The unfinished conversations, the time that could not be, the pain of being older and not being able to ease his pain. The things left unsaid, unfinished, and unrealized.
Death cared not to spare my heart. It decided to come, whether I was ready or not.
💛 When Faith and Sadness Sit Side by Side
I used to think joy and sorrow couldn’t share the same breath. Now I know better. Now I understand David’s tears in the Psalms weren’t a detour from his calling; they were part of it.
I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes. Psalms 6: 6-7 (NIV)
Let me speak this over you today, if you’re grieving anything—a person, a season, a dream: 🗣️ You are not backsliding. You are breaking open. You are being refined.
This is David at his most undone. No royal robes. No warrior’s shield. Just a man, broken before God, asking not to be forgotten in his pain.
This Psalm is honest, filled with grief and pain like I have had and probably you too. What’s powerful is that even in his lament David does not let go of hope:
The Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer. (v. 8–9)
👣 Action Step: Honor the Loss, Bless the Lesson
Write down these two reflections in your journal or Notes app:
“What did I lose that still lingers?” Name it without shame.
“What have I gained in the absence?” Name it with grace.
Then, say this aloud: “I’m not going backward. I’m healing forward.”
If you feel led to sow into this space where grief meets legacy—know that every gift powers not only this writing, but real food, real healing, and real restoration for families like mine.
💛 Give here: Cash App: $mrsPinky85 PayPal: paypal.me/mrspinky85 Venmo: @mrs_pinky
Or bless yourself by preordering Mrs. Pinky Cooks—where stories and recipes hold hands across generations.
Grief isn’t proof you’re falling. It’s proof you’ve felt. And in the Kingdom, even tears water purpose.
#MrsPinkyThoughts #40DaysOfFaithFireForward #SacredGrief #LegacyBuilding
🔥 Call to Action
Will you help me finish this work?
Preorder your copy of Mrs. Pinky Cooks today—not just to read, but to rebuild. Every preorder helps care for my family, complete Book 8, and fuel our Kingdom initiatives like matchmaking, ministry coaching, and heat emergency aid right here in Georgia.
When God feels quiet, it is our time to shine. We can show up in his image to do the work God has called us to do. That takes time, prayers, and your investment!
Let’s feed legacy. Let’s build Iconic. And let’s show the world that resilience doesn’t need a stage—it just needs a seed.
👉 [Preorder Now] 💖 [Sow a Kingdom Seed]
📖 [Share this post to bless someone who’s quietly surviving.]
How does today’s newsletter tie into our Iconic Marriages mission?
Here’s how Day 3 of “Grief Isn’t Backsliding — It’s Sacred Ground” deepens out Iconic mission:
🪞 1. Healing the Inner Work Fuels the Outer Work
Iconic Marriages isn’t just eGuides and book launches, we are an inner heart work that leads to outer home change. By sharing my own grief journey, I am hopefully modeling the emotional honesty and spiritual resilience needed to lead families through:
Trauma inherited from parents or past relationships
Mixed emotions around family legacy and identity
The sacred tension between honoring and releasing
Couples now know: "You don’t have to hide your sadness to stay faithful.”
🧬 2. Grief as a Generational Reset
This piece names what so many silently carry: pain passed down, love wrapped in control, silence mistaken for strength. Iconic Marriages helps partners:
Break generational cycles
See each other’s wounds with compassion
Honor legacy without becoming hostage to it
This Day 3 post says, in essence: “You are not backsliding. You’re breaking cycles.”
📖 3. It Builds Spiritual Equity in Your Voice
By anchoring grief in Scripture and testimony, Iconic Marriages is positioned me and our members as not only practical but prophetic. Here, we are equipping people for:
Emotional maturity
Spiritual authority
Marriages rooted in mutual healing, not just habits
Our upcoming books (Kingdom Marriages: An Iconic Vision & Mrs. Pinky Cooks) are even more powerful for all of you. Because you as our readers will know: “This isn't theory. This is lived truth.”
Iconic Marriage is a donations-based, subscription paid newsletter to empower you to build a thriving social empire. We pray that each lesson during this eSeries empowers you. What have you learned so far? What has Grief taught you about faith? What does life and death teach us about ourselves? Let us know in the comment. Feel free to join in on the conversation
Become a Sponsor on Iconic - Where Families Flourish 🌟
Join us at Iconic, the premier destination for inspiring marriage and family content. Our platform celebrates the joy of family life, offering a space where positive stories and advice thrive. We invite you to be a part of our journey by choosing one of our exclusive sponsorship packages:
🌱 Seed Sponsor - $25 a month
Your brand name listed on our “Thank You” page.
A shoutout in our daily newsletter.
🌼 Blossom Sponsor - $50 a month
All benefits of the Seed Sponsor.
A featured spot in one of our weekly articles.
Social media mention across all platforms.
🌳 Evergreen Sponsor - $150 a month
All benefits of the Blossom Sponsor.
Your logo displayed prominently on our homepage.
An exclusive sponsored post/podcast feature.
Priority placement in our sponsorship. And Book Rewards.
By sponsoring Iconic, you align your brand with values of love, commitment, and family unity. Let’s nurture these values together and watch our communities grow.
Interested in becoming a sponsor? Donate below and get started.
Our Iconic Sponsors: Spotlight Thanking our Donors!
We extend a heartfelt blessing to our Icon sponsors for their monthly contributions and donations to our iconic endeavors. Their support enables us to provide free online newsletters from Monday to Friday, develop new digital products in 2025, and distribute free books to the public each month via Twitter. Your subscription also helps support my mom and family at this difficult time. All donations are extremely appreciated.
Here are our current sponsors:
Greg Bulla of Walter, Whatever will be, will be | Looking at old memories with family and friends. This is a fiction novel that is just the beginning, as Walter, his family, and friends make memories that last Order your copy of Walter, Whatever will be, will be From Amazon.
Connie Fries Illustrations |Bring your stories to life with stunning, hand-crafted illustrations! Connie specializes in creating captivating visuals that turn ideas into vibrant masterpieces. Whether you need artwork for books, branding, or special projects, this talented illustrator delivers creativity that speaks volumes. Let your vision take shape—connect today! Send her a private message on Instagram or join her Patreon for a monthly membership.
Coach Felecia Killings of The Felecia Killings Foundation | The new Black outreach services from the foundation the Conscious Conservative Prolife Initiative Starts now. Read more at the link above about this new political and social nationwide work.
Sponsors We Say Thank You! Get your name added to our Sponsorship list below when you give monthly and become a subscriber.
Greg Bulla
Richard Gardner
Michelle Murphy
Tye
Chris Pollydore
Daniel Cooper
Connie Fries
Felecia Killings
Steve Sams
You name will be represented here as you donate to our network.