Day 4: I Survived What Didn’t Serve Me
40 Days of Mrs. Pinky Thoughts: Faith, Fire & Forward Motion| Week 1: Voice and Vulnerability
Provision, Power & Partnership: Rethinking the 50/50 Myth in Marriages : Our Latest eGuide for Premium Subscribers!
Provision, Power & Partnership: Rethinking the 50/50 Myth in Marriage
🔥 This ain’t your average couple’s debate. It’s a call to rebuild with clarity, purpose, and mutual mission.
👊🏽 Let’s talk:
→ When provision becomes control
→ Why 50/50 leaves couples emotionally bankrupt
→ How to build a real financial partnership rooted in Kingdom wisdom
Reviews Are In!
"Shaped by culture, not Christ" . . . how Nicole describes the way providing within marriage has been regarded, historically.
Something that stood out to me in this eGuide, "Provision, Power & Partnership: Reclaiming Covenant in a Culture of Control", was Nicole's point that "we've confused control with covenant". Rather than recognizing historical value of "shared leadership" and "mutual respect", which Nicole attributes to Biblical teachings, some elements of the culture today promote women being kept "under control" to maintain order.
Her eGuide, traces the change in household roles of providing over time, and their relation to historical events and circumorbital roles of men and women, and using historical context gives a very reasoned and rational take on provider stances, providing historical context for what led women to enter the workforce, and start earning an income. It also shows that women did what needed to be done for their households to survive changing and trying times throughout history.
Nicole points out in this eGuide that nowhere in the Bible is it stated that women are to remain in the home, rather than work, pointing out examples within the Bible of women working, engaging in business, trade, and government.
My takeaway from this eGuide is that what's wrong in how the roles of men and women in marriages today goes back to earthly ideas, not from Biblical teaching, and not from God. It is an "earthly" idea that women should not work, but should be at home. It is an "earthly" idea that marriage is a "50/50" business, not a "shared mission" based on respect for each other.
Or, as Nicole put it, it's "culture talking, not Christ".
Breaking down the realities and misconceptions of roles within marriages today, a very effective and concise eGuide for today's couples. - Greg Bulla
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Day 4: I Survived What Didn’t Serve Me
40 Days of Mrs. Pinky Thoughts: Faith, Fire & Forward Motion
There’s a kind of survival that doesn’t make headlines. It doesn’t leave bruises or demand applause. But it breaks chains just the same.
It’s the kind of survival where you walk away from what looked like a blessing but slowly drained your peace. The kind where you finally say: “No more performing. No more proving. No more pretending this is purpose when it’s just pressure.”
Today I honor that version of me—the one who stayed too long, who hoped too hard, who tried to shrink to fit in rooms never built for her. I didn’t just survive heartbreak or poverty. I survived distraction, false alignment, and obligation dressed up as opportunity.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
I grew up trying to please my mom and dad, being the good girl. Listening to the church and doing whatever I could to help my family. I joined the military, and I became a wife and mother.
In all of that was many times of pain, of hardship, of not being respect, mocked behind my back at work, laughed at by leadership, fired on my day off, sexually assault at a time of being too trusting, and almost dying through a miscarriage.
I am never the popular one, the one everyone wants to elevate, or the one that is the best at anything. I often feel left out, forgotten, and left behind until it was all said and done. The one that was cheated on and then when it was time for me to push back, I was the villain. My life was a pain in the backside, but I decided that I no longer was a people pleaser, and I stood up and set boundaries when needed.
Struggle after struggle gave me scars to who I am today. As my goals started to get checked off and as I begun to be the daughter God designed, life would take my health from me. Even in my disability, I reserved the right to me. I cut off people who weren’t even aware because that’s how little I meant.
I moved on to purpose, provision, and service to God’s Kingdom rather than man’s, to fulfill my marital oath, and my duty as mom. I put God first instead of my own desires as it should be.
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🌱 The Sacred Exit
Walking away isn’t always a loss. Sometimes it’s an act of worship. When God prunes, it’s never punishment—it’s preparation.
That platform I let go of? That relationship that drained me? That military that felt like chains?
All of it had to go to make room for what’s being born now:
Mrs. Pinky Cooks, where legacy meets flavor.
Kingdom Marriage: An Iconic Vision, where truth meets tenderness.
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💍 The Tie to Iconic Marriages
So many couples are stuck surviving what no longer serves them:
Cycles of poor communication
Generational strongholds disguised as “how we’ve always done it”
Roles they never agreed to but silently carry
This post isn’t just a journal entry—it’s a call to all the wives and husbands who are silently suffocating under unspoken expectations.
💬 You can honor your marriage and still release what doesn’t serve the covenant.
That’s what Iconic Marriages is: A home for the healing work. A space where walking away from dysfunction doesn’t mean giving up—it means growing up.
🕊️ A Word for Today
If it costs your identity, it’s too expensive. And when God is your source, survival isn’t your final form—revival is.
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You survived what didn’t serve you. Now let’s thrive in what does. This is sacred ground. This is Iconic.
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