Effective Communication
Learning to hear your spouse.
Today’s free post is sponsored by “Mrs Pinky’s Thoughts” my new eBook coming out soon.
It is a compilation of a few of my political writings in order to give you a sample of my work in the political space.
Iconic is my new work in the social space which more conservative voices can do work to help individuals grow in marriage, love, family and parenthood.
By showing up in more spaces, we can honestly say we care about people truly and are not just trying to “own” the other political sides.
Social conservatism is a forgotten aspect of the political package, and many do not know how to fight on the battlefield of Ideas and teach people HOW to win in these areas.
Now, let us talk about communication.
(For a more indepth conversation subscribe as a paid reader to get the longer article for this week’s topic).
I won’t repeat all of the amazing points made in this week’s paid article for those who are subscribers of both.
That would be weird.
I just want to point out HOW important communication is as an aspect of a successful marriage.
For reference, I have been married for almost 12 years this April but have known my husband since 2007.
And we are polar opposites.
One of the things we constantly work on is our communication. We are opposite sexes, have completely different personalities and are from two different states.
I have two parents that have been married for 40 years and his parents are not together.
In fact, our worldviews, opinions and communications styles are different.
How do we make it work?
We listen to understand not to respond.
Many people listen to what you are saying to say something back, almost like they are on defense mode.
One of the things that I have always enjoyed about my man is that he was always a great listener (maybe because he doesn’t talk as much as me, lol) and that was how we became friends.
When you listen, you hear what the person is saying and also develop an understanding of HOW they say things.
Just because I am loud does not mean I am upset or fussing.
I am just a naturally loud person. I even laugh loud.
On the other hand, he is quiet. It doesn’t mean he is unattentive, uninvolved or dismissive. He is actually a deep thinker and uses his quiet time to come up with solutions.
If you hear him yell, something is obviously wrong. And the kids are surprised!
We did not get here easily though.
It took actually getting to know who each of us were, and some fights, to understand the nuances of how each of us show love, discuss important topics, and are uniquely ourselves.
We grew to understand how to adjust our own ways to that of our spouse.
The goal was not to WIN but to build togetherness.
We are a team.
The way to communicate is to solve problems, love deeper and be each other’s liberty. Check out more points here Your Guide to Communication in Marriage | Psych Central
Fun fact: we never chastised each other for the way we were. Instead, we developed our own new way to be with each other.
Now we can second guess each other.
He can say “I knew you would react that way or say that” and there is nothing I could reply with because he would be right.
The cool thing about it? We can rest in that assurance of knowing each other on such a deep level.
We can get our points across, win each other’s hearts over and over again and have the peace of mind that our other half is okay.
I do not need to worry about my man not paying attention to me, not listening and start to picture elsewhere.
Instead, we go to each other for answers, and we depend on each other for help.
That is an Iconic marriage. Not because we are famous and popular, not because we are rich.
It is “Iconic” because we are at peace and happy WITH each other and better off than when we were alone.
Are we perfect? HECK NO.
My loudness does annoy him at times. His quietness can be frustrating to me.
But the majority of the time, we work.
That is how you know it is going well. And it is amazing.
When you see so many relationships gossiping about their man or woman, podcasters opining about the opposite sex, you often feel like you live in an alternate universe from the peace you have obtained.
That is why it mattered to me to create Iconic to combat some of the narratives about marriage.
When you find YOUR person, and the person you are with right now might not be them, You realize that some of the opinions out there come from a place of pain, sorrow and heartbreak.
And we are here to help.
Political organizations will talk about broken homes and even advise that we need to “do” something.
But who gives you the tools to actually win?
We do.
At Iconic, our mission is to get 1 million marriages on the road to success in the next 25 years.
And we need you.
With a donation of $25 or more, you can give to this mission and help others win at marriage, family, parenthood and life.
Because strong families mean strong communities and a strong nation.
Let us build together so that we can have the America that makes us proud.
Give here Sponsoring Iconic Media Group and Building Healthy Marriages for 2023/2024 | GoGetFunding