Forgiveness in Kingdom Marriages: Healing Hearts and Strengthening Bonds
The Iconic Kingdom Marriage eSeries | Applying these Principles to your marriage as a Lifeline to Marital Success Matthew 6:14-15
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Forgiveness in Kingdom Marriages: Healing Hearts and Strengthening Bonds
In the Preface of book 6, the Iconic Formula for Marriage Success, I dive deep into a story about how my husband forgot Mother’s Day one year at the beginning of marriage. You’ll have to get the book with a paid subscription to read more into what happened. But the point of the story was about forgiveness.
Sometimes, we believe our way of being, our way of thinking, our way of living is the right or only way. And God teaches us through meeting other people, trials we go through or even our kids that life isn’t that easy. It can be frustrating, but it is real.
Yet, God gives us tools to make it through.
When my father died, I had so many unanswered questions, unfinished conversations, and my heart was broken because I would never get clarity on somethings. I prayed to God to ask Him what I should do about all these mixed feelings and emotions.
God told me to forgive. God told me to forgive my dad, to forgive my brother, and to forgive myself for all the things that I thought I needed to apologize for or the regrets, mistakes, missteps in our relationships. God told me that he’d take it from there since both my dad and father were His children.
Forgiveness is a cornerstone of a thriving marriage, especially Kingdom marriages. As we reflect on Holy Week and the sacrifice of Christ, Day #3 reminds us of the power forgiveness has—not only to transform our lives but also our relationships. Forgiveness in marriage mirrors the forgiveness Christ demonstrated on the cross, ensuring that bitterness and resentment don’t take root.
The Biblical Principle of Forgiveness
The Bible emphasizes forgiveness as essential to our spiritual and relational well-being. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus teaches:
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
This passage reminds us of the importance of letting go of grievances, not just for the sake of our spouses but also to honor our relationship with God.
Real-Life Marriage Situations
Forgiveness isn’t always easy—especially when emotions run high or when the hurt feels too deep. Here are examples of how forgiveness can be applied in marriage, drawing from realistic situations:
1. Social Media Disputes
Imagine a situation where one spouse feels betrayed by the other publicly airing frustrations or personal issues on social media—a drama that has played out with countless celebrity couples. While the instinct may be to retaliate or hold onto resentment, forgiveness can break the cycle of conflict. Instead of letting the public nature of the argument define the marriage, choosing to forgive opens the door for honest conversation and healing. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
2. Lingering Resentments Over Past Actions
In marriages, hurt often accumulates over time—maybe one spouse made a financial decision without consulting the other, or repeatedly overlooked promises. Resentment can fester if left unresolved. Reflecting on Ephesians 4:32—“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”—reminds couples of the importance of showing grace, even when mistakes are significant.
3. Pop Culture Reflections
Consider the widely publicized struggles of Will and Jada Smith, who have faced intense scrutiny over their relationship choices. Regardless of personal opinions on their journey, one takeaway is that forgiveness and open dialogue are necessary for navigating challenges. Biblical teachings encourage us to address hurt directly: “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24).
The Kingdom Message and Holy Week
As we meditate on Jesus’ sacrifice during Holy Week, forgiveness takes on a profound meaning. Christ’s act of ultimate forgiveness—the shedding of His blood for our sins—sets the example we are called to follow in our marriages. Holding grudges damages unity, but embracing forgiveness builds the harmony that aligns with God’s purpose.
Forgiveness saves marriages because it addresses the root of pain and allows God’s healing power to flow freely. It’s not just an act; it’s a decision rooted in faith. As Jesus said in Luke 23:34 while on the cross:
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” This level of grace challenges us to forgive in our own lives, even when it feels impossible.
Practical Tips for Forgiveness in Marriage
Pray for Your Spouse: Ask God for strength to forgive and guidance in communicating.
Communicate Openly: Discuss grievances with a spirit of reconciliation. Avoid the blame game.
Set Boundaries: Forgiveness doesn’t mean tolerating harmful behavior. Establish boundaries to ensure growth and respect.
Focus on God’s Example: Reflect on Christ’s forgiveness and let it inspire your approach.
Closing Thought
Forgiveness is a powerful act of love that transforms marriages and hearts. During Holy Week, as we draw closer to God, let’s commit to forgiving fully and freely, following the example Christ set for us. Remember, forgiveness is not about forgetting the hurt—it’s about choosing to love and move forward in faith.
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God’s Plan with the Principle of Forgiveness
God commands us to forgive because forgiveness is central to His teachings and reflects His nature. Here are some reasons why forgiveness is emphasized:
Healing and Freedom: Forgiveness liberates us from the burden of resentment and bitterness, allowing us to experience peace and emotional healing2.
Reflecting God's Love: By forgiving others, we mirror God's unconditional love and mercy, as demonstrated through Jesus' sacrifice2.
Restoring Relationships: Forgiveness fosters reconciliation and unity, which are vital for healthy relationships and communities2.
Obedience to God: Forgiveness is an act of obedience to God's command, showing our trust in His wisdom and justice2.
Receiving Forgiveness: Scripture teaches that forgiving others is essential for receiving God's forgiveness for our own sins2.
Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is transformative and aligns us with God's purpose for our lives. What are your thoughts on this?
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