Fortifying Your Covenant: Unlocking True Security and Safety in a Kingdom Marriage
The Iconic Kingdom Marriage eSeries | Discover the essential pillars of emotional, physical, and spiritual security to cultivate a God-centered, lasting union.
Good afternoon, Icons,
It is with a grateful heart that I come to you after laying my brother to rest this weekend. He will continue to go on to his Military Honors later today and we just want to thank each of you for your love, prayers and support at this time. We ask that you continue to do so as our family goes through this difficult season and that we know where our hope lies, in Christ Jesus.
This month is still #WomensHistoryMonth and we are honoring our beloved matriarch Minister Nancy Pulley. She is the backbone of this family holding us together for 45 years and beyond. With all the pain that she has endured, she is still reminding us to hold on to Jesus and that we will make it. The song below, she posted for us today to encourage our family.
We are raising money today to continue our Iconic Marriages platform so that we can grow the institution of marriage across the country with the exemplary example of my parents who stay true to each other for 50 years.
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Now, into today’s lesson:
Fortifying Your Covenant: Unlocking True Security and Safety in a Kingdom Marriage
My husband is my safe space. Our home is safe because we value a peaceful place to raise our kids in a healthy and happy space. This is part of the benefits of a healthy relationship.
I go out when I need to and for us to have fun, but home is a happy place for us. We are far from perfect, and we both acknowledge that to each other. My husband often reminds us that things take time to change like behaviors, attitudes and feelings and he reminds us that all we can do is try to seek the Kingdom, do our best and to bear with each other.
We do not fight often and when we do, we often come back quickly to apologize and to get ourselves back on track. My husband and I have known each other for 18 years We have been best friends for that long. Sometimes we know how to provoke each other, tease one another, and fight well. But at the end of the day, our house is a safe space and each other. We have never been violent with each other or said things that we could not easily correct.
In marriage, security is an important factor. And it in Kingdom Marriages, God calls us to a higher standard than the secular world. It is our responsibility to treat each other with the same dignity and respect that God has done for us. When we walk in a Kingdom related mindset, we put God first and that secures our marriage in the first place. Everything else will be added once we know what we are doing.
Discover the essential pillars of emotional, physical, and spiritual security to cultivate a God-centered, lasting union.
Marriage is a sacred union, a covenant ordained by God to reflect His love and faithfulness. A Kingdom marriage goes beyond a legal contract—it’s a divine commitment grounded in spiritual principles and mutual trust. However, building and sustaining a secure and safe Kingdom marriage requires intentional effort, godly wisdom, and unshakeable faith. Here are some guiding principles to nurture such a union.
1. Rooted in God’s Word The foundation of a Kingdom marriage is the Word of God. By seeking His guidance and aligning your relationship with biblical truths, you create a solid anchor that holds you both steady during trials. Daily prayer, worship, and studying scripture together deepen your connection with God and strengthen your bond as a couple.
2. Prioritizing Emotional Safety Emotional safety is essential for fostering intimacy and vulnerability. Both partners should commit to open, honest communication—sharing their thoughts, feelings, and fears without judgment. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, as James 1:19 advises. Offer grace and understanding, creating an atmosphere where your spouse feels valued and secure.
3. Practicing Forgiveness No marriage is immune to conflict, but the key to security lies in forgiveness. Holding onto resentment can weaken the very fabric of your covenant. Instead, emulate Christ’s example of unconditional forgiveness. Acknowledge mistakes, seek reconciliation, and choose love over pride.
4. Building Trust Daily Trust is earned through consistent actions and integrity. In a Kingdom marriage, being trustworthy involves honoring your spouse’s heart, being faithful, and fulfilling promises. Transparency and accountability further deepen trust, making your relationship a safe haven.
5. Guarding Your Marriage The enemy often seeks to divide and destroy what God has joined together. Be vigilant in safeguarding your marriage from external influences and temptations. Establish healthy boundaries, surround yourselves with godly counsel, and remain committed to one another wholeheartedly. Remember, you are stronger together.
6. Cultivating Physical and Financial Security Safety in marriage extends to physical and financial stewardship. Protect one another’s well-being and prioritize each other’s needs. Be wise and transparent in managing resources, ensuring stability and peace in your household.
7. Celebrating Love and Unity A Kingdom marriage flourishes when both partners actively celebrate their union. Show appreciation, affirm one another, and engage in activities that bring joy and connection. By nurturing your love daily, you keep it vibrant and secure.
Conclusion A secure and safe Kingdom marriage is not a mere possibility—it’s a promise when you build it on the unshakable foundation of God’s love. By prioritizing spiritual intimacy, emotional safety, forgiveness, trust, and wisdom, you can enjoy a marriage that glorifies God and provides peace, joy, and purpose for both partners.
BREAKING FEAR
In 2022, I wrote my first book about my miscarriage and the fear I experienced in Breaking Fear. In 2024, I re-released the book again with an epilogue about my daughter’s birth. I had a lot to say about fear.
But fear would rear its ugly head again in my life.
February 6, 2025 and on February24, both my father and my brother passed away. Their deaths have forever impacted me. Through this grief, I learned God can use my personal story, as the story has already told.
I have many fears: of planes, of drowning, of leaving my kids in this chaotic world. Yet, God calls me not to worry. This is how I discovered His Kingdom message.
In Matthew 6:25, Jesus speaks to his disciples, who are worried about their basic needs. He tells them not to worry and instructs them to seek the Kingdom of God first and live righteously.
That my message to you today. I also encourage you to read my books to find strengthen for your trying days.
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Examples of Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Security in a Kingdom Marriage
My parents were blessed with 45 years of love, honor and respect for each other. That meant that even when they were upset, they still came back to loving one another with dignity and grace. They forgave when they needed to, cried when they needed to, shared their deepest fears, vulnerabilities and more. They were each other’s rock and each other’s lovers helping each other to navigate the world. One thing I know for sure is that Clarence loved Nancy and the love they had produced safety so much so that three of their children served in the military, one worked for the state, one faced the world with special needs and one survived being shot.
Their legacy taught us that marriage is a safe space. It should be for you as well. What does and emotionally secure, physically secure and spiritually secure Kingdom Marriage look like in practice? Check our other examples below:
Emotional Security
Example: Couples feel safe sharing their deepest thoughts, struggles, and fears without fear of judgment. For instance, if one spouse is going through anxiety or stress, the other offers a listening ear, comfort, and reassurance.
Benefits: Emotional security fosters intimacy, trust, and vulnerability in the relationship. It allows both partners to feel valued and connected, creating a foundation for lasting love and mutual understanding. When emotional needs are met, the couple is better equipped to face challenges together.
Physical Security
Example: Ensuring the safety and well-being of your spouse. This could involve creating a home environment free from physical harm, providing health care support, or even defending your spouse from threats.
Benefits: Physical security leads to peace of mind and a stable environment for the couple and family. A spouse who feels physically safe is more likely to thrive in other areas of life, enhancing overall marital satisfaction. It reflects the loving, protective nature of Christ's relationship with His church.
Spiritual Security
Example: Praying for and with your spouse, engaging in regular devotional time together, and encouraging one another in your faith journey. If one partner is struggling spiritually, the other offers guidance, encouragement, and accountability.
Benefits: Spiritual security aligns the marriage with God’s purpose and strengthens its divine foundation. It creates unity and harmony, reminding both partners of the covenant’s eternal significance. Through shared spiritual growth, the couple experiences deeper intimacy and joy rooted in God’s love.
Holistic Impact on the Marriage When emotional, physical, and spiritual security are prioritized, they enrich the relationship on all levels—building trust, fostering mutual respect, and ensuring long-term commitment. A Kingdom marriage becomes not just a union but a safe haven where both spouses can flourish individually and together in their purpose.
Would you like to explore how to cultivate these areas further in your marriage? Let me know how I can assist!
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