“Grieve, but not as those without hope” — My Dad’s Heavenly Birthday
Rest in Heaven Minister Clarence Pulley Jr | "I shall Wear a Crown"
“Grieve, but not as those without hope” — My Dad’s Heavenly Birthday
Today would have been my father’s 64th birthday. His earthly presence is gone, but the imprint of his life still echoes through every part of mine. His voice, his wisdom, his fierce love for family; all still so vivid.
He wasn’t perfect. But he was present. A man who loved deeply, led humbly, and served faithfully. Married to my mom for 42 years, a father to us all for a lifetime, and a hero in more ways than he’ll ever get credit for.
And so today, on his heavenly birthday, I hold the verse close that I said at his funeral:
“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” — 1 Thessalonians 4:13
There’s a kind of grief that erodes. But there’s also a kind that refines. I know loss intimately, through his passing, my brother’s, and the many invisible losses that come with military trauma. I’ve tasted the weight of sorrow. But I’ve also stood toe-to-toe with hope.
Hope, not because of denial but because of the promises of Christ. Hope, not because I’m strong, but because He is. Hope, because my father didn’t just leave, he went ahead. This hope I know because of him.
What His Life Left Me
Permission to dream big He told me I could do anything, be anything. Even when I overreached, he never doubted me.
A blueprint for Kingdom service The Kingdom Fatherhood Initiative exists because he modeled what it looked like to be both flawed and faithful.
A legacy worth continuing Every word I write, every family I serve, every moment I stand in purpose… is a continuation of his impact.
What His Death Reminds Me
I wasn’t ready. Even though he told me, “Get ready,” I still wasn’t. But the Spirit whispered grace where preparation failed.
His suffering is over. Ours remains for now. But we don’t grieve like those without hope. We grieve like those who know there’s a reunion ahead. We grieve like those who still have work to do—and love to give. We grieve like Kingdom daughters who’ve been fathered well.
The church in this chapter and verse of the Bible had lost a lot. They had seen a lot of death. Paul knew they didn’t need the same message as their worldly brothers and sisters and also not the same message as other churches.
For we who know God can still be sad, we can still feel bad, and we can still grieve.
But we know whose we are and who we are in Christ Jesus. That identity and citizenship makes death hit different. It does not mean we don’t miss the love of a father, a husband, a grandpa, a brother, a best friend, or anyone we’ve lost. It is that we know that if we live for Jesus, we all will see each other again in our new GLORIFIED BODIES.
It is not enough just to have blind faith but to know God is real and that we KNOW where our family members are after they leave this Earth.
We are not to worry but we are to do what dad said, we ought to BE READY. Dad tried hard to prepare us for this day and someone deep down I was not ready to let him go. But I have to know that when God said, “It is finished”, then HE said what HE said.
Thank you for walking this day with me. This isn’t a goodbye, it’s a quiet celebration of what's to come.
We will meet again, Dad. Thank you for giving me that hope.
Your daughter forever, Niki.
Purpose in Pain: The Kingdom Fatherhood Initiative: Curriculum
Today is the final day to help us reach our $350 goal for the Kingdom Fatherhood Initiative & Curriculum—a resource born from purpose and pain, created to strengthen families through biblical teaching, legacy, and healing. In honor of my dad’s heavenly birthday, we’re raising the funds to finish editing, design, and production so this curriculum can reach those who need it most. Every gift makes a difference. Let’s turn grief into impact—together.
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Thank you in advance for your condolences, prayers, and messages.
Please keep us in prayer especially my mom at this time.