How I Reply to Recent Viral Moment, Navigating Marriage and Parenthood: Insights from Cam Newton’s Journey
What can the recent conversations with Cam Newton and Dr. Bryant tell us about navigating marriage and parenthood?
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How I Reply to Recent Viral Moment, Navigating Marriage and Parenthood: Insights from Cam Newton’s Journey
Introduction
Marriage is a beautiful union, but it can also evoke fear and uncertainty. Many individuals grapple with the idea of commitment, especially in a world where divorce rates remain high. In this post, I’ll discuss strategies to alleviate those fears and create a strong foundation for lasting relationships. We will use the recent viral video with Cam Newton and Dr. Cheynne Bryant to tie all the ideas on this newsletter together.
Before we begin, if you aren’t up to date on the video, here it is from Cam Newton’s page.
Summary
Dr. Bryant delves into the effects of high and low functioning men on relationships, breaking down the dynamics and exploring how these behavioral patterns influence partnerships, communication, and emotional connections.
Navigating Fears of Marriage and being pro Parenthood
1. Understanding the Fear of Marriage
Fear of Divorce: Cam Newton, the former NFL MVP, candidly expressed his aversion to marriage due to the fear of divorce. He believes that avoiding marriage altogether is a way to prevent potential heartache.
Realistic Expectations: While romanticized notions of family life exist, it’s essential to recognize that reality often differs. Our upbringing, experiences, and cultural context shape our views on marriage. Cam Newton said all this while having a current relationship which leads us to believe that marriage, while often talked about, is not really one of his own goals and he exposed himself on his own show.
2. The Impact of Parenting Choices
Cam Newton’s Approach: Despite fathering seven children with multiple partners, Cam actively participates in his children’s upbringing and reminding Dr. Bryant as if proud of this fact. He maintains relationships with the mothers and strives to be a hands-on father. Co-parenting and still being involved with his kids is a good thing but not the most ideal situation after so many times.
Broken Families: Dr. Cheyenne Bryant, a life coach and therapist, raised concerns about Cam’s approach. She emphasized that having children with different women could lead to “broken families.” Children may face challenges due to the absence of a united family structure. To continue to do so after many the first, second or third child leads one to think that having a stable family life is not in his plans.
Selfishness vs. Responsibility: Dr. Bryant labeled Cam’s approach as “selfish,” linking it to patterns within the Black community. She highlighted the importance of considering the impact his actions have on children and mothers. This is the viral moment everyone is talking about. Cam has even said he wanted more children. I agree with her overarching point. He knowingly wants to have more children in households where he won’t be fully present even as much as he loves them. As he was being gleeful about the fact that he takes care of his kids due to his vast resources, kids do not get the full time with parents who do not live with them. Cam seemed to not understand the benefit of a together family verses him having to travel around to stay in touch. I will add here that it is still more advantageous for children to have two married parents’ vs co-parenting. But when marriage isn’t the option there are ways to have healthy co-parents. Most co-parents settle their differences outside of court while the small percentage have to fight in custody battles.
3. Cam’s Defense
Avoiding Broken Homes: Cam refuted the notion that he intentionally creates broken homes. He believes the term “single mother” doesn’t apply to his situation, as he actively supports all his children and their mothers. That is not what single mother means. In actuality, if the two parents are not together, they are single-parent households. This misunderstanding could be the bulk of Cam’s issues. That does not mean that Cam does not provide but it does mean that a lot of the work that the other parent does not see is still being done without them.
Individual Realities: Cam acknowledged that his reality differs from his father’s. Each person’s journey is unique, shaped by personal experiences and circumstances. That does not negate that his children do not have a full-time father that is married to his mother. While co-parents do the best that they can and we applaud them, the ideal situation is for kids inside a healthy two-parent married household. Some differences can come down to abuse, educational outcomes, healthcare and quality time. Obviously, Cam’s time is split between his career and juggling his multiple children. Kids are aware when parents have limited time with them.
Co-Parenting: Cam’s commitment to co-parenting demonstrates his dedication to his children’s well-being in spite of his fears about being married. Despite the fact that his relationships with his kids’ mothers did not work out, he still takes the time to be active in his children’s lives. Sometimes, the nuclear family is not the situation and both parents do the best they can. Cam, saying he wishes to marry as if the choice is not something he can control, has to reevaluate why he keeps making more of a commitment to have children and not to have a wife. Why are these women mother material but not wife material? Is Cam husband material? At this point, he is not. He does not know understand the benefits to the children from having him full-time or what is needed of him as the leadership to hold a family together.
Conclusion
Marriage need not be feared; instead, it can be approached with intentionality and a willingness to learn and grow. Cam Newton’s journey reminds us that parenting choices matter, and building strong Iconic family bonds requires empathy, communication, and responsibility.
Remember, every family is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Let’s embrace the complexities of relationships, learn from our experiences, and strive to create loving, supportive homes. 🌟1
Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog post is for general guidance and discussion purposes. It does not constitute professional advice. Always consult a qualified therapist or counselor for personalized guidance. 🙏
Breaking Fear
Our fifth book, "Breaking Fear," delves into my personal experience with miscarriage and the fear that accompanied it. Join me on this journey and discover how to conquer your deepest fears and triumph. Upgrade your Iconic subscription to paid and receive this inspiring story directly in your inbox.
Breaking Fear: Stop Being Scared of Marriage
Cam Newton is afraid to get married. His own vulnerabilities, fears about his money, and his anxieties were palatable throughout this video. Dr. Bryant tried her best to explain and redirect his thinking through discussions of high and low functionality in men. Navigating the fear of marriage can be challenging, but there are practical strategies to ease those anxieties. Here are some coping mechanisms to consider:
Self-Reflection and Awareness:
Understand your fears: Take time to identify specific fears related to marriage. Are they rooted in past experiences, societal expectations, or personal insecurities?
Reflect on your beliefs: Consider what marriage means to you. Separate your thoughts from external pressures or stereotypes.
Education and Communication:
Learn about healthy relationships: Read books, attend workshops, or seek counseling. Understanding the dynamics of successful marriages can alleviate fears. Iconic provides those resources if you have marriage anxiety. Think about why you would want to bring kids into the world, yet that is not as scary to you as being wed.
Communicate openly: Talk to your partner about your concerns. Honest conversations foster trust and emotional intimacy. Talking to therapists, counselors, elders and other married couples can give you a perspective that you might not have had yet.
Challenge Negative Thoughts:
Replace irrational thoughts: When fear arises, challenge it. Ask yourself if your thoughts are based on evidence or assumptions. Then do research to see if your fears are based in reality or overblown.
Practice positive affirmations: Repeat affirming statements about marriage, commitment, and love.
Embrace Vulnerability:
Accept imperfections: Understand that no relationship is flawless. Vulnerability allows for growth and connection.
Be open to emotional intimacy: Vulnerability is essential for a strong marriage. Share your feelings and fears with your partner.
Prioritize Self-Care:
Nurture your well-being: Engage in activities that bring you joy, reduce stress, and boost self-esteem.
Maintain a support network: Surround yourself with friends and family who encourage and uplift you.
Set Realistic Expectations:
Understand that marriage isn’t always blissful: It involves compromise, effort, and occasional challenges.
Recognize that love evolves: The initial passion may fade, but deeper connections develop over time.
Seek Professional Help:
Consider therapy: A therapist can guide you through fears, past traumas, and relationship patterns.
Premarital counseling: Explore expectations, communication styles, and conflict resolution with your partner.
Remember that fear is natural, but it need not paralyze you. Approach marriage with curiosity, self-awareness, and a willingness to learn and grow.
Why Some Wealthy Men Fear Marriage and How to Overcome It
Marriage can evoke fear and hesitation for anyone, regardless of their financial status. However, some wealthy men may experience unique concerns. Let’s explore why and discuss strategies to overcome these fears:
Loss of Freedom:
Fear: Wealthy men often worry that marriage will restrict their autonomy. They fear losing the ability to make decisions independently.
Overcoming It: Recognize that marriage doesn’t inherently limit freedom. Healthy relationships allow for individual growth while fostering partnership. Communicate openly with your partner about boundaries and personal space.
Financial Worries:
Fear: Wealthy individuals may fear financial loss in divorce. They’ve worked hard for their assets and worry about division during separation.
Overcoming It: Pre-nuptial agreements can provide clarity and protect assets. Openly discuss financial expectations and goals with your partner. Seek professional advice to ensure a fair arrangement.
Negative Media Influence:
Fear: Popular media often portrays marriage negatively—divorces, celebrity splits, and jokes about marital woes.
Overcoming It: Recognize that media exaggerates negative aspects. Seek positive narratives about successful marriages. Focus on building a healthy relationship rather than dwelling on worst-case scenarios.
Gamophobia (Fear of Commitment):
Fear: Wealthy men may suffer from gamophobia, fearing commitment and long-term obligations.
Overcoming It: Understand that commitment doesn’t diminish independence. Embrace vulnerability and emotional connection. Seek therapy to address underlying fears.
Stereotypes and Exploitation:
Fear: Wealthy men worry that partners may be interested solely in their money.
Overcoming It: Choose partners based on genuine connection and shared values. Build trust gradually. Look for someone who appreciates you beyond material wealth.
Remember, every individual’s fears are valid, but they need not hinder meaningful connections. The entire conversation went deeper into high-low functionality which we will tackle more tomorrow. Seek professional guidance, communicate openly, and approach marriage with intentionality. Iconic Coaching is here if you need 1 on 1 coaching for your marital needs.
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