How I Successfully Steer through High and Low Functional Dynamics
What did Cam Newton's Conversation tell us about high/low function people, marriage and parenthood?
Good Giving Tuesday, Icons,
Thank you so much for joining our newsletter.
Iconic is the number one hub for marriage success and empowerment. Our vision is to restore, revitalize, and reignite the institution of marriage by empowering you to build thriving social empires.
This newsletter is that mission as our mission is to create thousands of marriages and save many more through our online and offline resource. You help us do that with your comments, sharing our newsletters, funding our work, prayers and support.
We pray that you have an amazing start to this new week in life, love, marriage and family.
We are asking for your donations or subscription to help me with medical expenses why I recover on my medical journey.
Upgrade to our Iconic+ newsletter and get access to comments, podcasts and eBooks below.
How I Successfully Steer through High and Low Functional Dynamics
Yesterday, we discussed the viral moment on Cam Newton’s podcast with Dr. Cheyenne Bryant. The topic of the show was about high and low functioning individuals and how they navigate relationships.
I have had experience with both high functioning and low functioning people having been a leader in the military and other jobs. Both kinds of people can be loved and can cause problems especially if you are unaware how to interact with each. We want to dive a bit deeper into this subject to help you successfully steer your marriage to success.
Let’s explore the signs of high-functioning and low-functioning dynamics in relationships.
First, what does high-function and low functioning even mean?
When I refer to high-functioning and low-functioning individuals, I am describing how well a person can function in daily life activities and participate in society. Here’s what these terms mean:
High-Functioning (HFA):
Intellectual and Developmental Level: High-functioning individuals typically have average or above-average intelligence and language skills.
Strengths: They may excel in certain areas, such as problem-solving, communication, or specific talents.
Challenges: Despite their strengths, they still face difficulties related to sensory sensitivity, mental health, social skills, and other aspects of daily life1.
Low-Functioning (LFA):
Intellectual and Developmental Level: Low-functioning individuals experience significant intellectual and developmental disabilities.
Challenges: They may struggle with communication, self-care, and independence.
Strengths: It’s essential to recognize and appreciate their unique abilities and strengths, even within their limitations2.
Remember that these terms are not always precise or comprehensive, and each person’s abilities and challenges are multifaceted. You are supposed to use this knowledge to change how you interact with others not to change how other folks behave with you. You get to decide who you allow in and out of your own life.
Breaking Fear
Our fifth book, "Breaking Fear," delves into my personal experience with miscarriage and the fear that accompanied it. Join me on this journey and discover how to conquer your deepest fears and triumph. Upgrade your Iconic subscription to paid and receive this inspiring story directly in your inbox.
What does this look like in our interpersonal relationships?
These patterns can significantly impact how couples interact and navigate their lives together. Understanding the true way these types of people behave on average can help you know what to do. Here are some key indicators:
Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning:
Overfunctioning: One partner takes on the bulk of daily responsibilities, initiates difficult conversations, and tries to resolve problems in the relationship. They may feel overwhelmed by the mental load, which includes managing emotional and cognitive attention for tasks.
Underfunctioning: The other partner defaults to a less active role, relying on the overfunctioner. They may feel anxious, dependent, and lack confidence in handling responsibilities independently12.
Resentment:
Overfunctioning can lead to resentment. If you find yourself feeling resentful toward your partner, it’s essential to explore the source. Resentment often arises when boundaries are crossed or when you feel taken for granted.
Suppressing your feelings to maintain the status quo can build emotional walls that hinder communication and connection.
Increased Irritability:
Feeling annoyed or irritable is normal in any relationship but pay attention if you notice an increase in annoyance or snapping at your partner.
Demand/Withdrawal Dynamic:
This pattern occurs when one partner feels their needs aren’t met (the “demander”) and the other avoids addressing those needs (the “withdrawer”).
The demander may feel frustrated, while the withdrawer sets unclear boundaries. Communication and trust are essential to break this cycle3.
Burnout and Stress:
Overfunctioners often take on too many responsibilities, leading to burnout and stress.
Remember that every relationship is unique, and understanding these dynamics can help you create a more balanced and emotionally secure partnership. Open communication, empathy, and mutual respect are key to navigating these patterns effectively
Effects of low functioning attributes on parenthood?
The impact of dealing with low-functioning men in parenthood can be significant. Here are some ways it affects parenting:
Emotional Load:
A spouse can often carry an additional emotional load due to their partner’s limitations. They may need to manage not only their own emotions but also those of their spouse.
This emotional burden can affect his or her ability to be fully present for their children.
Parenting Responsibilities:
The low-functioning partner may struggle with parenting tasks, such as feeding, bathing, or providing emotional support.
The overfunctioning spouse may find his or herself taking on more responsibilities, leading to exhaustion and potential resentment.
Modeling Behavior:
Children observe their parents’ interactions closely. If they witness an imbalanced dynamic, it can shape their understanding of relationships.
Modeling healthy communication, empathy, and cooperation becomes challenging when one partner is low-functioning.
Stress and Coping Strategies:
Parenthood is inherently stressful. When one partner is low-functioning, coping strategies become crucial.
The high-functioning spouse may need to find external support systems, such as friends, family, or therapy, to manage stress effectively.
Long-Term Impact:
The quality of the parental relationship directly affects children’s well-being. A strained relationship can impact their emotional development.
It’s essential to seek professional guidance and work together to create a supportive environment for both the children and the couple.
Remember that seeking professional help and maintaining open communication are vital for navigating parenthood in such dynamics.
🌟 Become a Sponsor on Iconic - Where Families Flourish 🌟
Call to Action: Join us at Iconic, the premier destination for inspiring marriage and family content. Our platform celebrates the joy of family life, offering a space where positive stories and advice thrive. We invite you to be a part of our journey by choosing one of our exclusive sponsorship packages:
🌱 Seed Sponsor - $25 a month
Your brand name listed on our “Thank You” page.
A shoutout in our daily newsletter.
🌼 Blossom Sponsor - $50 a month
All benefits of the Seed Sponsor.
A featured spot in one of our weekly articles.
Social media mention across all platforms.
🌳 Evergreen Sponsor - $150 a month
All benefits of the Blossom Sponsor.
Your logo displayed prominently on our homepage.
An exclusive sponsored post tailored to your brand.
Priority placement in our sponsorship.
By sponsoring Iconic, you align your brand with values of love, commitment, and family unity. Let’s nurture these values together and watch our communities grow.
Are you interested in becoming a sponsor? Donate below and get started.
Our Iconic Sponsors
We extend a heartfelt blessing to our Icon sponsors for their monthly contributions and donations to our iconic endeavors. Their support enables us to provide free online newsletters from Monday to Friday, develop new digital products, and distribute free books to the public each month via Twitter.
Subscribe today to their newsletters and purchase/preorder their newest books.
Coach Felecia Killings of The Felecia Killings Foundation | Empowering rising leaders with advanced spiritual and practical training that help them manifest their God-given purpose in the social, political, and economic spheres. Sign up for Coaching and Leadership Services today.
Greg Bulla of From Where I Stand Substack | Looking at the lessons to be learned from authentic American history and how they can build better communities of individuals. Order your copy of For Their Own Good? today.
Sponsors We Say Thank You!
Jimmie Doss
Richard Garner
Greg Bulla
Felecia Killings
Michelle Murphy
Maddie
Tye