Kingdom Marriages and Marital Leadership: Building on a Solid Foundation
Our New Iconic eSeries | Emphasizing Matthew 6:33 and Fostering Love in Your Marriage
Good afternoon, Icons,
We are back with our Iconic eSeries, “Kingdom Marriages” and hope that this will bless you in your union.
We thank all of you who have supported the Pulley family during this time of mourning and ask that you continue to keep us in prayer.
If you would love to send a donation to support my mother as she goes through the grieving process losing a husband, son and sister, feel free to use the link below. Remember rewards are always available.
Our goal is $10k to help her with whatever she needs at this time.
It is with celebrations and love, that I continue the work of Iconic Marriages in the memory of my father Clarence Pulley Jr, Brother Ronnie Pulley and Aunt Mary Harvin, who all went on to be with the Lord. It is not a time of great sadness because we know where they are as we all miss them deeply. We thank God for the time we had with each one of them, sharing love, our lives, and the memories we hold dear and, we do the will of God so we can see them all again one day.
I ask you Icons, that you, pray my strength in the Lord.
Kingdom Marriages and Marital Leadership: Building on a Solid Foundation
My father was the leader of his household, and we all knew it. He took charge working his butt off as a security guard, commercial truck driver, or whatever was needed of him. He ruled with a strict hand but had a sense of humor, too promoting the power of education, the love of our Lord Jesus Christ and the care for his family.
He showed me what marital leadership was protecting and providing with my mom, demonstrating what that looked like for all six of us to model in our own lives, with an emphasis that he was always a phone call away if we needed him.
The 45 years he spent with my mom had many ups and downs, but their resilience though love, financial woes, health issues that ultimately took dad from us, displayed a level of love that I can only aspire to in my own tiny family.
His exemplary example was displayed in full force at his funeral when us children spoke individually about how he impacted us and how eloquently we were able to articulate that impact.
That is a Kingdom Marriage leadership legacy, one where your offspring can carry on and demonstrate that in each of the next generations, the community and beyond. This includes my late brother who passed recently leaving behind his wife and three kids. He learned for our father’s example and even said our dad was a leader at his wake. My brother was a United States Marine serving his country because of the guidance of our dad. That is the legacy that we can be proud of that they both exuded; two lives well lived as they battled hard two very unfortunate health issues.
What we do here at Iconic Marriages is foster the type of relationships that not only unify inside the house but transcend outside in our communities displaying the power of seeking the kingdom of God in real-time right now in our world.
At a time when our American nation needs hope, needs peace and needs understanding, we call upon a higher Kingdom that its citizens can be hopeful in with every aspect of our lives including our marriages. There is hope today, that the institution of marriage will be restored, reignited, and revitalized with this Kingdom Marriage eSeries. This is our current mission.
We pray that you and your union is blessed by our new eSeries, and that all of us can set examples of the power of the Kingdom through the love we have for our spouses and for our families.
1 Corinthians 4:20
New International Version
20 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power.
Introduction: A Marriage Anchored in the Kingdom
In the journey of life, marriage is one of God's greatest gifts and a reflection of His divine purpose. For believers, a Kingdom Marriage is much more than just a union between two individuals; it is a covenant that aligns with God's principles, bringing purpose, direction, focus, unity, and strength. Seeking the Kingdom of God is the bedrock on which these marriages thrive. Jesus said,
"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you" (Matthew 6:33 ESV).
A Kingdom-focused marriage embodies this principle, serving as both a testament to God's glory and a powerful testimony to the world.
The Purpose and Direction of a Kingdom Marriage A Kingdom Marriage is driven by a higher calling—a shared mission to advance God’s Kingdom. This shared focus provides clarity and eliminates confusion in times of challenge. When both husband and wife seek the Kingdom first, their decisions, goals, and priorities align with God’s will. It becomes clear that their marriage is not just for personal happiness but also for fulfilling God's purpose on Earth.
Real-world Example: Consider a couple who devote their time to mentoring younger couples in their church. Their shared mission draws them closer together and strengthens their marriage, offering purpose and fulfillment beyond themselves.
The Roles of Husband and Wife in Kingdom Leadership In a Kingdom Marriage, leadership is not about dominance but about servanthood, as modeled by Christ. "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve" (Mark 10:45 ESV).
The Husband's Role: The husband is called to lead his family in love, emulating Christ’s sacrificial love for the Church. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25 ESV). This means providing spiritual covering, ensuring the family’s focus remains on God, and leading by example in prayer, humility, and wisdom.
The Wife's Role: The wife is called to be a partner and helper, providing strength, wisdom, and encouragement. "The wise woman builds her house" (Proverbs 14:1 ESV). She supports her husband in his leadership role while also stewarding her own God-given responsibilities.
Real-world Example: A husband regularly initiates family prayer times, and his wife complements this effort by encouraging their children to memorize scripture. Together, they create a household culture that prioritizes seeking God.
Applying Kingdom Laws and Principles To flourish, Kingdom Marriages require intentional application of Biblical principles:
Prayer and Devotion: Pray together daily, seeking God’s wisdom and guidance.
Forgiveness and Grace: Reflect Christ's forgiveness by showing grace during conflicts. "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you" (Colossians 3:13 ESV).
Stewardship: Manage time, finances, and resources in a way that honors God.
Unity: Keep Christ at the center to maintain harmony. "And the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh" (Mark 10:8 ESV).
Real-world Example: A couple practices tithing faithfully and involves their children in discussions about giving, teaching them stewardship from a young age.
Conclusion: The Kingdom as a Guiding Compass Kingdom Marriages are a powerful example of God’s divine order and love. By living in alignment with Kingdom principles, couples can find direction, purpose, and unity that not only strengthen their marriage but also inspire those around them. When husband and wife embrace their roles with humility, devotion, and grace, their marriage becomes a lighthouse in a world often adrift. Let’s seek the Kingdom together and build marriages that reflect His glory.
Kingdom Marriage Leadership Examples
Here are some additional examples of marital leadership in Kingdom-minded marriages that illustrate the beauty and practicality of applying God’s principles to everyday life:
1. Leading in Stewardship
A Kingdom-minded couple views their resources—time, finances, and talents—as blessings entrusted to them by God. Together, they plan and make decisions that honor Him.
Example: A couple creates a family budget, making tithing and charitable giving a priority. They discuss how to spend wisely, pay off debts, and save for the future. They may also volunteer together at a food bank or other ministry to serve their community as stewards of God’s love.
2. Discipling Their Children
Spiritual leadership begins at home. A Kingdom-minded couple actively teaches their children about God’s Word and demonstrates how to live it out. Our family makes the Bible and learning about the Lord a huge part of our homeschooling curriculum. Knowing and loving God is a family event in the Pinkston household.
Example: Parents hold weekly family devotions, teaching their kids Biblical stories and principles. They might also create a “scripture of the week” challenge where everyone memorizes a new Bible verse and discusses how to apply it in daily life.
3. Encouraging Each Other's Callings
In a Kingdom Marriage, spouses uplift and support one another’s God-given callings, talents, and dreams. My dad encouraged my mom to go after her Minister role. He pushed her to believe in herself, take the classes and more. She was with him as he was preaching and sharing the gospel.
Example: A husband encourages his wife to start a small business that aligns with her God-given gifts, helping her seek wisdom through prayer and research. Similarly, a wife supports her husband in pursuing his passion for teaching Sunday school or leading a men’s Bible study.
4. Modeling Christ-like Love During Conflict
Disagreements are inevitable, but Kingdom couples demonstrate humility and grace by resolving conflicts in a Christ-centered way.
Example: Instead of letting anger linger, a couple prays together and asks God for wisdom to heal misunderstandings. They practice forgiveness, remembering "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32 ESV).
5. Serving in the Church
Kingdom-minded couples often take on leadership roles in their local church or ministry, working together as a team. Both of my parents have Minister titles and served at my childhood church. My dad, for example, had keys to the church, fixed the water heaters, drove the bus to pick up people. My mom taught Sunday school, sings and played music. They demonstrated a Kingdom marriage in deed not just talk.
Example: A husband and wife lead a marriage mentorship program at their church, helping younger couples navigate challenges by sharing their experiences and God’s truths. They pray with these couples and guide them using scriptures like "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor" (Ecclesiastes 4:9 ESV).
6. Demonstrating Hospitality
Kingdom leadership extends outward to those in need of encouragement and love.
Example: A couple regularly opens their home to host Bible studies, fellowship meals, or small group gatherings. Their warm hospitality reflects the heart of Christ and creates opportunities to bless others.
7. Facing Trials Together in Faith
Trials and tribulations provide opportunities to grow spiritually and strengthen marital bonds.
Example: A couple facing health challenges leans on their faith by attending healing services, reading scriptures of encouragement like "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18 ESV), and surrounding themselves with a supportive church family.
8. Prioritizing Prayer and Worship
Prayer is the cornerstone of marital leadership in a Kingdom marriage.
Example: A husband and wife commit to waking up early to pray together for their family, their church, and the world. They may also take time to worship together, turning on praise music in their home and thanking God for His goodness.
Each of these examples reflects how a Kingdom-minded marriage can thrive under God’s leadership. By aligning with His principles, couples not only strengthen their own bond but also extend His light and love to their families, communities, and beyond. If you'd like to delve deeper into any of these examples or explore others, let me know!
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