Kingdom Marriages and Surviving Loss: Finding God's Light Through Darkness
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Kingdom Marriages and Surviving Loss: Finding God's Light Through Darkness
On a phone call with my dad, he told me to buy a black dress because he would leave the world soon. I ignored him because he had been sick since 2008, and God always brought him back to us. He used to talk about his death so much since my childhood because he lost his own dad at 47 that it was sort of normalized in my family to hear him discuss his death. He’d be serious one time or he’d be joking the next. He was my best friend so the thought of losing him was surreal to me. Then the time came.
I had to buy that dress.
On February 6, 2025, he was finally right. And it was one of many hard days of my life because I had finally lost him, like he so frequently told me. Loss became real again for me. It was intimate with me as if we were two great loves spending time together.
I know so much about loss and it would be reminded of once again.
I was trying to be encouraging recently to my audience on Twitter when someone came into my comments asking me what I knew about loss asking me had I lost a child. A question no follower of mine had to ask, but this new user was so bold. I didn’t get upset. It was a question that I plan to answer here in today’s newsletter.
My 1st book, Breaking Fear, was about that loss. I decided to write my 1st of 7 books, about that one because it is the story that almost killed me. It was when I had finally had enough with this planet Earth and all it took from me. I knew loss and this one was going to get me, too. (Read today with a paid subscription)
We lost our child. It was devastating, and yet, 15 years later, we are still here.
As that question swirled around in my head as the user questioned whether I knew loss, I lead my followers on Twitter fight and debate this person, who obviously hadn’t followed me since 2022 when I had this book and subsequent book 5 with an epilogue in it of such loss. It was obvious that this person found the right one, because loss is something I know a great deal about.
I also know where my help and comfort come from during this time and wish to use the power of my words to encourage all of you.
Do you know loss?
I am sure you do. And the most important lesson about loss is to know that you can still make it without losing yourself, too. Loss isn’t the end of the story but the beginning of a new you. A you that is going through fire to be shaped and molded into a weapon, a weapon that understands the gravity of loss and the resilience necessary to continue on our own journey until death comes for us, too.
Introduction: Walking Through the Valley Together Life is a journey filled with both joy and sorrow. For some, the road can feel impossibly heavy, marked by the heartache of loss, grief, and suffering. Whether it’s losing a child to miscarriage, mourning the death of beloved family members like a parent, sibling, aunt or cousin, enduring the trauma of sexual assault, grappling with the loss of safety after being robbed, or struggling with mental and physical health tied to war, the weight of these trials can feel unbearable. These situations, of course, are mine, but you have personal valleys too, I am sure of it. The weight can be heavy, but you will be strong enough to carry it.
Yet even in the darkest valleys, God is present. In Psalm 34:18 (ESV), we are reminded, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” For those in Kingdom Marriages, this truth becomes an anchor—drawing strength from God’s promises and from each other as partners in faith. Seeking the Kingdom, especially in times of profound loss, illuminates the path forward, offering comfort, unity, and resilience that only God can provide.
Loss in Many Forms: Pain and Resilience Grief and loss come in countless forms—each leaving its unique mark.
Losing Loved Ones: The passing of a father, aunt, brother, cousin, or a child through miscarriage leaves an irreplaceable void. The pain is deep and personal, but God offers hope. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain” (Revelation 21:4 NIV).
Loss in Service and Safety: Losing friends or family members in military service reminds us of the fragility of life and the sacrifices made in love. Similarly, losing a sense of safety through assault or theft can shake one’s foundation. God reminds us, however, that He is our stronghold: “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe” (Proverbs 18:10 NIV).
Health Struggles: The loss of physical or mental health can feel isolating, yet God offers restoration: “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” (Isaiah 40:29 NIV).
I do not list my losses lightly for I have struggled with each of these. I do so to encourage you, that you can make it no matter how hard it seems or how trying. I know some of you may have dealt with more or dealt with less. Life doesn’t discriminate with pain and suffering but know who can comfort you for you will need His help one day.
Amid these losses, the overwhelming lesson is this: we are not alone. God walks with us, and in the context of Kingdom Marriages, spouses can reflect His love and grace to each other, bearing each other's burdens.
Seeking the Kingdom Through Pain In the midst of heartache, seeking the Kingdom of God provides both purpose and healing. Jesus tells us, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 ESV). Here’s what we gain through seeking His Kingdom:
Comfort and Peace: God's peace surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7), offering solace in moments where nothing else can.
Strength to Endure: His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), helping us rise above circumstances.
Eternal Perspective: Kingdom marriages focus on eternity, knowing that earthly struggles are temporary, and God’s promises are everlasting.
The Role of a Kingdom Marriage in Surviving Loss In times of loss, a Kingdom Marriage becomes a stronghold—a partnership rooted in God's principles that empowers couples to face trials together.
Prayerful Partnership: Praying together invites God’s presence into your grief. A husband and wife leaning on God together can experience profound healing.
Unwavering Support: Reflecting Christ-like love means comforting each other through pain, forgiving when stress causes tension, and showing grace in moments of weakness. “Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2 NIV).
Spiritual Unity: As couples seek God’s Word together, they align their hearts and minds with His truths, building resilience to navigate future storms.
Ministry of Healing: Using shared experiences of loss to minister to others—whether through grief counseling, church groups, or testimonies—brings purpose and redemption to pain.
Scriptures to Comfort Those in Grief or Struggling Here are some powerful reminders from God’s Word that offer comfort during trials:
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:1-3 ESV).
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4 ESV).
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28 NIV).
If you or your spouse are struggling through a difficult time, please reach out. If you would wish to send condolences, well-wishes, or to share your own story in private, you can send us a direct message at this time.
Conclusion: God's Glory Through the Storm Loss and hardship are part of the human experience, but they are not the end of the story. Through Kingdom Marriages, couples can endure the trials of life by holding steadfast to God and each other. As we navigate the valleys of loss—whether through grief, trauma, or struggles—our faith in God transforms pain into purpose, glorifying Him in the process.
I have no idea if the Twitter user was acting in good faith or trolling, but he or she gave me the opportunity to talk about loss in the context of my life and for Kingdom Marriages. It is my life’s work to use the losses in my life to empower myself, my family and every one of you. What the devil planned for my downfall will be used to glorify God until my last breath. I am always grateful when someone online gives me content ideas and ways to help others find God to get to know Him like I do.
Let us remind ourselves that God is the ultimate healer and restorer. Let us glorify Him through our tears and testimonies, leaning on His promises and the strength of our marriages as reflections of His divine love.
May your hearts find peace in Him, your marriages grow stronger in unity, and your faith be unwavering as you navigate life’s trials. God’s grace is sufficient, His love unending.
In His hope and strength, Nicole Pinkston Iconic Marriages CEO and founder.
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