Kingdom Marriages vs. Traditional Marriages: Building on Eternal Foundations
Our New Iconic eSeries | Emphasizing Matthew 6:33 and Fostering Love in Your Marriage
Good afternoon, Icons,
We are back with our Iconic eSeries, “Kingdom Marriages” and hope that this will bless you in your union.
We thank all of you who have supported the Pulley family during this time of mourning and ask that you continue to keep us in prayer.
If you would love to send a donation to support my mother as she goes through the grieving process losing a husband, son, and niece, nephew, and sister, feel free to use the link below. Remember rewards are always available.
Our goal is $10k to help her with whatever she needs at this time.
It is with celebrations and love, that I continue the work of Iconic Marriages in the memory of my father Clarence Pulley Jr, Brother Ronnie Pulley and Aunt Mary Harvin, who all went on to be with the Lord. It is not a time of great sadness because we know where they are as we all miss them deeply. We thank God for the time we had with each one of them, sharing love, our lives, and the memories we hold dear and, we do the will of God so we can see them all again one day.
Rest in Peace to another dear loved one, Daryl Medlin, my cousin. You are now with the Lord and your father David. May your soul rest.
I ask you Icons, that you, pray my strength in the Lord.
Kingdom Marriages vs. Traditional Marriages: Building on Eternal Foundations
When I first fell in love with my husband, I just knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. This year, life has been tremendously hard for us with medical diagnosis, death in the family, financial issues, and so much more. You know things can go wrong, you agree to the good and bad in your vows. It is just a whole new ball game to live it in real time. It has been a lot in the last few months.
We were humbled.
And God was ready, waiting for us to come to Him with open arms.
In fact, many people are struggling today in their relationships. These individuals, seek living a more Enlightened life, ascending higher in thought, politics, money and more. They are looking somewhere for any kind of help.
But what if we had the power of the Creator God here and now? And what if we could have that in our marriages? A new empowerment for your relationships exist, right now.
We can indeed have way more. We can be elevated and have a deeper relationship than ever before. If we do what God told us to do in His Word.
Specifically, through seeking the Kingdom of God- which isn’t about tomorrow or just after we die-we can achieve much more. It is the power here and now. It is available to all of us. It makes our traditional marriages, better, too.
1 Corinthians 4:20 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power.
2025 has been a turbulent year for my family to say the least, but by putting the Kingdom of God first, my husband and I can face anything else that may come. We do not worry because we know where our help comes from. Having a Kingdom marriage gives you that type of power that can move mountains, triumph over death, and get us ready for our eternal sleep when our own time comes.
How do Kingdom Marriages differ from traditional marriages?
Kingdom Marriages and traditional marriages differ primarily in their foundation, purpose, and daily practices. Here’s a closer look at what sets Kingdom Marriages apart:
1. Foundation: Covenant vs. Contract
Kingdom Marriages: Rooted in a covenant before God, Kingdom Marriages are seen as a lifelong commitment that mirrors Christ’s relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:25-27). The focus is on honoring God and fulfilling His purpose as a couple.
Traditional Marriages: While some traditional marriages may also acknowledge God, many are based on societal or personal expectations, where happiness and mutual benefits can take precedence over spiritual values.
2. Purpose: Advancing the Kingdom vs. Personal Fulfillment
Kingdom Marriages: The ultimate goal is to seek first the Kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33) and live out a shared mission that glorifies Him. Marriage becomes a ministry, whether it’s discipling others, serving in the church, or supporting their community.
Traditional Marriages: The focus is often on building a comfortable life together, raising a family, and achieving personal goals.
3. Leadership: Christ-Centered Roles vs. Equal Partnership
Kingdom Marriages: Leadership roles are modeled after Biblical principles, where the husband leads in love and humility, and the wife supports and complements his leadership (Ephesians 5:22-25). Both are equal in value but serve distinct functions within the marriage.
Traditional Marriages: Roles vary widely based on culture, preferences, or societal norms, often emphasizing equality or flexible leadership based on individual strengths.
4. Approach to Conflict: Biblical Principles vs. Self-Determined Solutions
Kingdom Marriages: Disputes are resolved through prayer, forgiveness, and applying Kingdom principles like humility and reconciliation (Colossians 3:13). The focus is on unity and glorifying God.
Traditional Marriages: Couples might rely on self-help advice, counseling, or personal negotiation strategies without a consistent spiritual framework.
5. Focus: Eternal Impact vs. Temporary Goals
Kingdom Marriages: Decisions are made with eternity in mind—raising children in the faith, supporting Kingdom missions, and creating a legacy of faith.
Traditional Marriages: The focus may lean more toward achieving temporal goals, such as career success, financial stability, and personal satisfaction.
6. Day-to-Day Practices: Christ at the Center
Kingdom Marriages: Daily prayer, scripture reading, worship, and shared ministry are core practices. For example, a couple may start every day with a devotion or end the day praying for each other.
Traditional Marriages: While traditional couples may have meaningful daily habits, these don’t always center on spiritual growth or Kingdom work.
7. Handling Trials: Faith Dependency vs. Self-Reliance
Kingdom Marriages: Challenges are met with faith, trusting God’s plan, and leaning on His Word for strength (Romans 8:28). For instance, they might fast and pray together during a season of financial difficulty.
Traditional Marriages: Trials are often faced through human effort, self-determination, or secular strategies, though some may seek spiritual help.
A Kingdom Marriage fundamentally shifts the focus from self to God, creating a Christ-centered, purpose-driven union. This doesn’t mean it’s without challenges, but the commitment to seeking God's Kingdom makes the difference. Does this align with what you were envisioning? Let me know if you’d like to explore any specific aspect further!
Practical Steps in Your Kingdom Marriage
How do we know if we are a Kingdom Marriage or if we are failing? What does a Kingdom Marriage look like in simple terms?
Kingdom Marriages are like a carefully cultivated garden—requiring intentional care, alignment with God's will, and a focus on key principles to thrive. Here are some additional elements that are crucial for Kingdom Marriages:
1. Keeping Christ at the Center
Why it Matters: A marriage rooted in Christ ensures that both spouses draw strength, wisdom, and love from an eternal source. With Christ as the foundation, couples can weather any storm.
Practical Steps: Commit to shared devotions, prayer, and worship. For instance, a couple might start each day with a short devotional or spend time reflecting on scripture together, like Ecclesiastes 4:12, which says, “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”
2. Living in Covenant, Not Contract
Why it Matters: A Kingdom Marriage recognizes that marriage is a holy covenant before God, not a mere contract based on conditions or emotions.
Practical Steps: Reaffirm your commitment regularly, especially during challenging times. Embrace the perspective of “’Til death do us part” rather than “if it works for me.”
3. Walking in Humility and Service
Why it Matters: A Kingdom-minded couple is marked by servanthood, just as Jesus modeled servant leadership. “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3 ESV).
Practical Steps: Encourage one another daily. A husband might surprise his wife by helping with tasks she usually manages, or a wife might create space for her husband to rest when he’s weary.
4. Prioritizing Unity
Why it Matters: In a Kingdom Marriage, the two become one flesh. Unity is key to fulfilling God’s purpose. “How good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!” (Psalm 133:1 ESV).
Practical Steps: Be intentional about communication. Set aside time each week to discuss important matters and to align on goals, ensuring you’re walking in agreement.
5. Growing in Faith Together
Why it Matters: Spiritual growth strengthens both the individuals and the marriage. A strong personal faith creates a solid partnership that reflects God’s glory.
Practical Steps: Attend Bible studies or conferences together. You could also read faith-based books or discuss sermons after church to reinforce growth.
6. Demonstrating Agape Love
Why it Matters: True love in a Kingdom Marriage is unconditional, selfless, and sacrificial, reflecting God’s love for humanity. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 ESV).
Practical Steps: Practice small acts of kindness daily—write notes of encouragement, surprise your spouse with their favorite treat, or simply listen with empathy.
7. Walking in Alignment with Kingdom Purpose
Why it Matters: A Kingdom Marriage is about advancing God’s Kingdom, not just achieving personal dreams. This shared vision creates purpose and drive.
Practical Steps: Identify a ministry or mission you can support as a couple, whether it’s mentoring others, serving the poor, or leading in church.
8. Forgiveness and Reconciliation
Why it Matters: Imperfect people will inevitably hurt each other, but forgiveness is the key to healing and growth. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32 ESV).
Practical Steps: When conflicts arise, don’t let them fester. Apologize quickly, seek God’s help in forgiving, and work toward reconciliation.
9. Cultivating Joy and Gratitude
Why it Matters: A Kingdom Marriage thrives in an atmosphere of joy and thanksgiving, regardless of circumstances. “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice” (Philippians 4:4 ESV).
Practical Steps: Celebrate small victories together, give thanks for one another daily, and laugh often—it’s the glue that keeps love alive.
Conclusion
My husband and I are far from perfect. We live, laugh, love, and grieve together making sure that our family and our responsibilities are taken care of through a focus on seeking the Kingdom. We go to God in prayer, read His Word, and reconcile with each other when need be.
The world today makes marriage seem impossible because their foundations are not rooting in something eternal. You can have an Iconic marriage of your dreams rooted in Kingdom concepts and power if you practice what we teach each day during our Kingdom Marriages eSeries. It will take time to get the hang of this deeper marriage status for your household, but you will be better for it.
By focusing on these elements, couples in Kingdom Marriages can build a relationship that glorifies God and inspires others. Which of these principles would you like to explore in greater depth?
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