Leadership: The Male Role as Husband and Father inside the Family and Marriage
Why this type of Leadership matters and What Men should do to be Leaders Today
America has a lot of broken families. Almost a lot of issues come from this unfortunate fact.
Most tend to look at political solutions and chastise each other about whether they are team blue or team red.
I argue that the issues we face start in the home and inside the marriage. union.
If we look at data, marriage is on the decline. Unfortunately, “The national marriage rate in the U.S. has been on a steady decline since 2016” Divorce and Marriage Data Trend Study - By State (2023) (healthyframework.com)
Over at Iconic Media Group, Iconic for short, we discuss in detail ways to restore the marriage union and to develop relationships that thrive.
This app is a community hub and safe space for individuals ready to build.
But before we can build healthy relationships, we must understand what that entails and if that is something we want to agree to do.
In my last free article, I get honest and tell you what I wish I had known about marriage, and I am sure many of us who are wed have some thoughts on that.
Breaking down monthly content each week of every month we talk about these topics:
Week: Communication and how to be effective in Marriage and Family
Week: Two=parent Households and why this model is most effective
Week: The role of wives and mothers. Why that matters.
Week: The role of husbands and fathers. Why that matters.
Week: Generational curses and how to break them
This is week 4 and so we are talking about men.
Disclaimer: I know I am a woman and will never pretend to know exactly what men feel or go through.
There are key points we can discuss, and I event men to jump in and add to this conversation.
Men, we need you.
Your leadership is an important role in families and marriages nationwide.
Ignoring here the gender wars and frustrations for a second, overall, the male leadership is lacking in many broken homes and the effects pour out into society.
As a combat veteran and former leader in the United States Army, leadership is something I know a little about.
Leaders are not bossy busybodies that control subordinates with threats, abuse or hate.
Real leaders show up to work with those people underneath them and give guidance/direction for the vision, mission and objectives.
Fact: Leaders in all walks of life are the same. They lead in such a way that the whatever needs to be done gets done in a timely and effective manner.
The same is for inside the family. That is why so many want to site the stats of fatherless households.
Despite the feminism or misandry that is out there, we need fathers/husbands to lead families.
Does that mean women play no role or unequal? No.
This is about the patriarch and how he is to be for his family unit to function.
According to the website, Covenant Keepers, there are some reasons we need male leadership, its uniqueness and what that looks like today.
In fact, the article “How Does a Husband Lead His Wife and Family” it talks about the problems and solutions for our men to do the work and win.
It says, “Most of the men that I counsel do not realize that many of the serious problems that are occurring in their homes directly result from their failure to lead.”
Not knowing is an easy fix. We will tell you here why it matters that men lead how to do it.
There are 5 Reasons Men tend fail to lead:
Growing up with no male leadership.
Some pastors do not teach it.
Some husbands give leadership fully over to wives through laziness.
Men give up when wives challenge them.
Some manipulate their wives through tears, denial of sex or verbal harassment to get out of leading. How Does A Husband Lead His Wife And Family? (covenantkeepers.org)
Well, what does actual leadership look like? It looks like these 9 actions.
Leading by loving-everything is rooted in love. Love is the guide for everything you do.
Leading by Initiating-you do not wait on others to act, you make the first move.
Leading by example- whatever standards you set, you demonstrate them firstly.
Leading by management-You have full knowledge of everything that goes on in your home and you manage them: like going to church, the finances, discipline of children and day to day stuff.
Leading spiritually (ethics for secular husbands)- demonstrate your love for the Lord, you're grounding spiritually if in another religion or the respect for rule of law (when ethical).
Leading morally and lawfully-You keep your word, you walk upright, you don’t lie and other moral values. You control your emotions and aren’t anchored in the opinions of others.
Leading in reconciliation- you step first to forgive and fix problems that have arrived. You take the lead in reconciliation when a conflict has happened.
Leading by your service- doing for others in the family regardless of if you want or not. Dads can change diapers, do dishes, and go beyond. Yes, you work a job outside the home but fathers who serve go beyond their careers and serve their families in whatever way they need in conjunction with the mothers.
Leading in decision making- you will be seen as the decision maker if you do the other 8 suggestions. Your wife can trust you in making the tough calls or hard choices as you have demonstrated leadership in other areas.
*This is a paraphrase of information found at the link: How Does A Husband Lead His Wife And Family? (covenantkeepers.org)
Families need leadership in the husbands and fathers at the top. This is not meaning without concern or advice from women. I allude it to captain and co=pilot of a plane. The plane will land with the team at the helm, but the pilot is still the head.
This may not mess with modern times, but we see data that shows families are more broken, more cohabitation and or unconventional families are not making up the difference.
We need men to take their leadership roles and do so from a place of loving care.
My father has been married to my mother for 40 years. He is a minister and leader which has resulted in six children and 12 grandchildren with my 5 families.
His leadership and spiritual guidance are still available to us a phone call away even with me living states away from him.
My husband, Mr. Pinky, is the leader of my family. And we have been functioning in cohesion for 12 years.
His leadership has helped us maintain a family, switch to homeschooling our kids and almost paying off our mortgage.
This is not to brag.
This is functioning how it should.
If we take back the reigns of our households, we can shrink government, fix communities and bring back the love and order families need to win today.
And that is Iconic.
The marriage stats are not good in the United States and around the world.
And we aim to change that.
That takes us working together and also supporting in every way possible.
My 3rd ebook coming “Mrs Pinky’s Thoughts” an anthology of my old writing for you.
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