Men are choosing against Fatherhood: 7 Reasons We Need Fathers Now More than Ever
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We are winding down the month of April and hope you have reached your monthly goals in life, love, family, and marriage.
We talked about why mothers matter and now we are talking about fathers.
Let us discuss.
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Let us know how we are doing and do not be shy of discussing these topics so we can all grow.
Men are choosing against Fatherhood: 7 Reasons We Need Fathers Now More than Ever
A photo of Mr Pinky and Kid Ping out there fishing on a bank.
A new study and has shown a disinterest in becoming fathers.
For his study, Robert Bozick utilized data from 3 sources: the National Survey of Family Growth, the Monitoring the Future study, and the Panel Study of Income Dynamics’ Transition to Adulthood supplement. All data was focused on the years 2000-2020.
Bozick utilized data from 18,183 American men from the National Survey of Family Growth, which included questions about if participants see themselves having children in the future and how much it would bother them if they never had children. The Monitoring the Future study focused on high school seniors and asked them what number children they would have and how likely they were to want children. The Panel Study of Income Dynamics’ transition to adulthood supplement examined men aged 18 to 28. Bozick used data from 6 waves asking about the importance of family leave as an aspect of their jobs for participants. New study identifies an increasing disinterest in fatherhood among childless men in the United States (psypost.org)
Reason #1: Adults still need their father’s Wisdom
I posted this article only after speaking to my own dad. He was talking to me about him feeling like he did when he first gave his life to Christ.
I was sitting on the couch listening to him smiling from ear to ear at how happy he was in the conversation.
I love just like him.
Plus, I was forever glad that he wasn't calling me about another medical update about his failing health.
Whew! The good news was his feelings he was having about him and Jesus.
My father has been married to my mother for 41 years and he is my best friend. Our birthdays are 4 days apart and I call myself a girl version of him.
He gives me advise on family, marriage, health and spirituality to this day even after I have my own family to take care of. His vast 60 plus years of knowledge on travel, work, salvation and more imparts so much wisdom on my husband, kids and I.
We will always need good fathers no matter how old we get. And as his health is not the best, I thank God every day that we still have him here.
Reason #2: Mothers cannot replace Fathers
And on the couch next to me was my own husband playing with our daughter and our son with his Nintendo Switch. We were having a family evening watching Black Summoner on Crunchyroll.
Our family past time is watching Japanese anime as we wind down our weekend and prepare our minds for the week ahead.
And now as I am preparing our kids homeschooling work, I come across this article. My heart sank.
Parenthood is a HUGE responsibility and it is better if the weight isn’t just on one parent alone. I understand why people chose not to do it.
Women are not fathers, we need our husbands to help us raise these kids in a way that only they can: with their leadership, teaching boys to be men, girls how men are to treat them and their own confidence and strength.
As children grow, fathers teach children to have empathy. Dads are usually more firm about enforcing boundaries. Teaching children to take boundaries seriously teaches them to respect the needs and rights of others.
“Fathers also play a huge role in teaching delayed gratification, the single most important highway to maturity,” Farrell says. Why Fathers Matter - First Things First
Reason #3: The authoritative parenting style
This one meshes with reason 2 because men and women serve different roles for their kids.
And nothing is wrong with that.
Fathers tend to help with behavior issues and actions through their unique leadership and management style.
The way fathers can reach their children inside and pull out their best is different than mothers can, and it is necessary in a balanced father/child relationship.
Researchers have found a variety of benefits stemming from a father’s use of an authoritative parenting style. This parenting style balances sensitivity and warmth with discipline and structure. Within an authoritative parenting style, a father’s children are less likely to have emotional and behavioral issues. Fathers Matter: The Importance of a Father - Focus on the Family
This is not a diss to us mothers. This just means that the balance of both mother and father having the better outcomes matter because of the way each parent works best in their individual styles.
Kids deserve an active father in their lives.
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Reason #4: Children who have fathers fare better in life
Seeing how well my father, my husband, all my brothers and many cousins and male family friends have handled fatherhood, this has saddened me.
Because I know how important my relationship with my own dad has been. He prepared me to go to the military, helped me through prom, pushed my confidence, came straight away after he knew I need him.
Children that have fathers have a better chance in life and science shows it.
An involved father's impact is more than a few good stories, notable quips and hard-learned lessons. Science proves he's worth more.
Studies show children with involved fathers, stepdads or father figures are less likely to get in trouble with the law, tend to do better in school and are more likely to hold a job.
It comes as no surprise in a world where fathers are doubling down on parenting. Fathers today expect to be a big part of their children's lives. Why dads matter, according to science (usatoday.com)
This is not to say kids who do not cannot beat these odds because my husband struggled without his own. He has achieved much, but he would have loved to have the relationship I did. Now he can talk to my dad because of our marriage.
A 2016 article in Sex Roles found U.S. teenagers with supportive fathers have greater optimism and self-efficacy, which translates to better school achievement. The results occurred even for fathers with little education and limited English. Daughters, in particular, performed better in math. Sons did better in language.
Seeing the way my husband's face lights up when he took the kids to the zoo this year or when he painted with our son is still something so fun to me. Their unique relationship separates for the one we share is amazing to watch blossom.
Reason #5: Fathers teach delayed gratification.
When my husband helped our daughter reach something high or told her no. The way in which she understands that she could not have what she wanted right then and there was different than the way I do it.
Moms are moms and Dads are dads. They each are best in their own right.
And as my daughter head butted me during the call with her grandpa because she wanted to say hello, parenthood isn't without it's stresses.
I get it.
“Fathers also play a huge role in teaching delayed gratification, the single most important highway to maturity,” Farrell says. “When children are allowed to do something without having to do anything to get there, it undermines this process.” Why Fathers Matter - First Things First
Living a free life without the dirty diapers, nose bleeds and constant worry that you got this all wrong is a lot.
And it is even harder on those out here doing it single, kudos to all of you badass people.
I just can't help, despite the head butting my father and I do, that somewhere a kid and man may never know the joy I had today still talking to my father.
From Where I Stand
Father Greg knows a thing or two about fatherhood and history in his area.
He is working hard to bring forth these historical stories from his childhood and more.
He also has an Iconic marriage under his belt and works hard for his family.
Read his newsletter by clicking the button and get his new eBook “From Where I Stand” for Signing up.
Reason #6: Children do better academically
We sometimes remind men how much kids need them. But we have to remind men that you need the kids too. Kids can help you remember you are alive because we learn from them as well.
With a father in the home, children can achieve new heights in academics. My sister and I graduated top of our highschooler class, me number 4 my sister number 2.
Out of 6 kids 5 all have stable families, careers and kids. All 3 of my brothers are good fathers and the 2 spouses are good dads too.
My sister who is the one out that has special needs, still graduated high school and is independently living.
But this is not just my story but many others.
A study by two Harvard researchers found that even when race, education, poverty and similar socioeconomic factors are equal, living without a dad doubled a child’s chance of dropping out of school.
Another study of boys with similar backgrounds found that by the third grade, boys with present fathers scored higher on every achievement test. They also received higher grades. The more years children spend with single mothers, the fewer years of school they complete.
To have someone that looks at you as a hero one minute, mad the next, and love you all in the same day.
Having a father around makes the joy of parenting that much sweeter on all of the family.
Reason #7: Better Fathering Makes A Better Marriage.
Parents don't always admit it, but we need our kids too. They keep us young, make us remember to laugh a little and remember that innocence is still in this very evil world.
When we share the responsibility as a team to rear our kids, it brings us closer as couple.
Our family becomes a well-oiled unit. Intact and together homes have less dysfunction and less problems that the surrounding community, courts and government have to come into content with for us.
A father that is doing everything he can to lead, serve and work for the household is more attractive and more effective as the family patriarch.
He passes down morals, authority and kindness in his unique way to serve us all.
Being a good father makes it easier for the mother to do what she does best, and she doesn’t need to step outside for alternative resources because they both lean into each other.
Key Points
This wasn't posted to bash anyone who wants to forgo kids, I know some with them tend to make childless people feel bad.
It is more to encourage those who are on the fence or maybe they are now pregnant and terrified.
It is hard sometimes to understand the God we can't see if we don't have a solid bond with the father we can see. And that bad bond may make people forget the whole thing.
We almost lost my dad in 2008 so stories like this makes me sad. But its not my place here at Iconic to judge.
I just encourage before you leap to this decision to get a balanced answer from different sources. Don't just go by bad or bitter experiences.
Nothing helped me see more how good of a guy I had married then to see him get approval from my dad and then to see all three of my guys together (My father, my husband and our son.)
If you have a good father, let him know that before it’s too late.
And in everything you do with him, be Iconic.
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