The Ultimate Self Love Guide: 6 Steps to Embrace and Celebrate Yourself
I came across this Twitter user today that was very down. He asked why he should continue on in this life if no one cared.
And I wanted to hug him through my screen.
I have been there.
You need to love yourself. Self-love is something you can have for you and only you.
Self-love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing.
Self-love encompasses not only how you treat yourself but also your thoughts and feelings about yourself. So, when you conceptualize self-love, you can try to imagine what you would do for yourself, how you’d talk to yourself, and how youd feel about yourself that reflects love and concern. What is Self-Love and Why Is It So Important? (psychcentral.com)
And I am not unsympathetic to his plight. You guys already know my story of wanting to unalive myself and go see Jesus for real for real.
Instead, I had to accept that the world doesn’t care and doesn’t need to care about me, and that is okay.
That I have to be prolife for me. I had to love me, even if no one else does.
Below are six tips for you to value yourself and a guide to the ultimate confidence in a world on fire.
Because your life does matter. You are wonderfully made. You must believe that in today’s culture. Only then can you find someone else who will love you too and you both have the kind of marriage that is an Iconic one.
Step #1 Forgive Yourself.
We are harshest on ourselves. We are our own worst critics. People can tell us to our face we are beautiful and all we see is the big nose or the gray hair.
We know our life better than anyone else. So, we play events over and over again with regret for the decisions we should have made in real time and didn’t or the ones we did that bit us in the backside.
Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the unintentional ways you had to live life and you did what you had to do. Forgive yourself for being human. Forgive yourself for being tempted into sin. Forgive yourself for not looking a certain way, being a certain way or even falling off the wagon a few times.
Being human means messing up. It means falling down. It means life being exhausted. It means people getting on your nerves.
And that’s okay. But don’t stay there. You were made with a purpose, and we need you out here and, in the game, called life as only you can be.
Step #2: Hold Yourself Accountable
Yes, forgive yourself for the things you can’t change and for being the human that you happened to be. But also hold yourself accountable.
Be honest with yourself about the things you didn’t do or the work you didn’t put in.
Could you be a little more kind, could you push away that extra bag or chips or do one more sit up at the gym.
Being honest with yourself allows you to know your limits and push past them. Being honest with yourself allows you to control what you can do instead of focusing on all the things you cannot do.
There are classes you can take, coaches you can link up with and even elders you can talk to that are helpful in navigating life.
Will this be easy? No. We feel like accountability is saying we are worthless or always messing up. No accountability is an account of what we have done and an honest assessment of what is missing so we can fill in the gaps.
Talking accountability means you actually love yourself to be true to you and don’t need another grown up to mother/father you like you are a child.
Value yourself enough to be accountable and then get to work.
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Step #3: Be realistic about Yourself
If I have been consuming processed and greasy foods and start a new diet today, my body won’t just automatically drop weight overnight.
We have to be realistic when we set goals and then we can be honest in obtaining them.
You won’t pain like Picasso if you don’t even know the difference between the brushes, what color theory is or what type of oil paints work best on which canvas.
No, I don’t look like Beyonce’. So expecting to get her type of attention without putting in the work she has is ridiculous and being upset about it is nutty.
But I am a good version of me. That is being real. I am a good wife, mother, and friend.
Start looking at what you realistically can do. What is your skill set? What is your income looking like? Are you good with money?
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Don’t lie to yourself saying you will get up at 4 am every day when you know deep down that it is better for you to go to the gym in the evening.
When you are realistic, you create an honest framework for you to begin to work on the areas you can develop.
And hey, if you can get up at 4am every day, why not try it out and see how it goes? You never know, you just might do it.
Step #4: Take Notes about Your Progress and Wins
We are prone to forget our little wins. It will be helpful to you if you take notes of your progress, of your wins and of the little ways in which you specifically are awesome.
No one can tell a joke like you. No one can cook that thing you make at the office parties with the twist you add like you.
You went up a longer flight of stairs faster today than normal.
Use trackers, apple watches, or paper and pen to record your work. That way you can see through plateaus and setbacks when they occur.
You are not bad at everything. You are maybe just unorganized and juggling too much. You are maybe unhappy because you are in transition, and you need this 9-5 right now to fund the equip for you your podcast.
Taking notes let you go back and see in real time what you are doing and how you can improve.
Step #5: Give Back to Others
We all have been in a funk, and we need something to wake us up. What helps me is helping others. When you help someone else you might see that your situation isn’t the only one or isn’t that bad.
You are depressed and it is a chemical imbalance in the brain. But have you heard about the man with part of his actual brain missing.
Carlos smashed his head on the asphalt, and doctors consequently had to remove a significant portion of his skull and brain to save his life. Thus, he became the man with literally half a brain.
The Incredible True Story Of Carlos Rodrigues, The Man With Half A Brain (scoopwhoop.com)
This is a victim Olympics but changing perspective can make you feel grateful for what you do have.
Reminds me of a man with one leg sitting next to the man in the wheelchair. The one-legged man was saying to the wheelchaired man that he was at least grateful he didn’t have to be in a wheelchair.
The wheel chaired man said to the one-legged man that you only see me because I am out here volunteering to give food to the poor. I volunteer as part of this organization to raise funds for kids with cancer.
This fake scenario is outlandish, but it shows that you never know what people are thinking or where they are going.
Even if you drop clothes off at Goodwill, share a charity org when you can or give a few dollars to the little kid selling lemonade, it can boost yourself esteem.
Self-worth can start by seeing the value and humanity in others.
Step #6: Seek out Help
It is okay to admit you need help. There are people whose job it is to assist in these areas: Priest, counselors, social workers, therapist, coaches and more.
These individuals are experts at finding what ails us and digging to get us healing.
Many cost money but some do volunteer work and free consultations as well.
Online chatrooms and apps are available if you need someone to talk to and vent your frustrations.
The National Mental Health hotline is 988. Remember that number just like you do 911.
We know that not everyone has a spouse, children or family to support, but there are great support groups out there that can fill in the gap.
Social media isn’t always the best place to look for help but help, like Iconic Media, is out here.
Those of us who offer our help have also had help, went to therapy or have learned a thing or two that can benefit you.
So, when your back is up against the walk, reach out and someone is sure to reach back.
Self-love is love of self.
That is something you have to develop of you want to live a long life and more so if you want to add others to it.
When you have an overall positive view of yourself, that doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days.
It just means you can push yourself through.
When you love yourself, you also can then know how to love others.
And in all your do, Be Iconic.
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