There is No Wall: Having An Iconic Marriage Lasting A lifetime
What the Red Pill Movement isn't Telling You
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There is No Wall: Having an Iconic Marriage Lasting A lifetime
The Red Pill movement has grown out of a need to help young men face the society in which they feel unvalued.
They use the red pill from the Matrix movie that is supposed to wake us up to truth.
And yet a lot of their messaging can’t be further from the truth.
There is a scene in the Matrix where Neo has to learn to bend the spoon. And he fails.
What he didn’t know; there is no spoon.
The concepts in many of the red pill influencers are to “tell it like it is” and yet they get many ideas wrong, dehumanize women and think little of the males they are trying to reach.
How?
They want to dash the hope of the young by belittling age and wisdom.
James 3:14-16 - “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
There is a sort of selfishness in this type of wisdom, telling the young that age is problematic and that they better get life right now or lose out.
The idea that there is a wall that women hit when they turn 30 and they can no longer look pretty, have kids or be of any use to men is a misogynists’ fever dream.
It absolves our young men from their purpose focusing on women’s age and not on the reason God created them to be.
It keeps women desiring youth that is fleeting when they should embrace the long life they are blessed with.
In reality, it just tells our youth that 30 is a death sentence if you don’t get all the things, you hoped for in the 12 years after turning 18.
What kind of nonsense is this? My answer: It is delusional.
Life doesn’t always work out the way we' planned it. Sure, many of us may hope to find the love of our lives young, have a good career and more, but that isn’t how it always happens.
I should know, my life didn’t go anything like I worked for.
At 18, I was a full-time college student ready to get my 4-year degree and start my new reporting career. I dropped out. The stress of working in a low-income job, balancing a full-time college career, no car and money troubles were too much for me.
I had a whole plan that didn’t happen. And I spiraled into depression. Even after joining the U.S. Army at 20, I still was very hard on myself and my relationships, health and spiritual life suffered.
It spiraled even more when I wanted to die in 2010, the year I turned 25.
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I get it. Society puts pressures on us. As teens we are thrusted into puberty and adult forward thinking with careers, life, dating and everything else in our laps.
Then as college-aged people, we are pushed in another way.
But there is no wall. There is no age when you must achieve your Iconic dreams.
They are lying to you. And that is the sad part.
To encourage you, they have to tell you that if you don’t do something on their arbitrary timeline, then you lose.
Like the child in the movie told Neo,
Do not try and bend the spoon, that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth ... there is no spoon. Then you will see it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."
— Spoon Boy, The Matrix
Hitting the Wall: There is no Wall.
You are wonderfully and woefully made by our awesome creator God.
“Hitting the Wall” is a negative term by people that are bitter that time stops for none of us.
It is also a phycological one that talks about fatigue.
KEY POINTS
The concept of hitting the wall can be applied to mental and emotional fatigue in everyday life.
When you feel like you've hit a wall, take a pause to rest and evaluate the situation that led to your fatigue.
Stress management and knowing where your wall is are the keys to better navigating anxiety, overwhelm, and fatigue. Hitting a Wall? Try Three Steps to Move Beyond the Obstacles | Psychology Today
Let us rethink the idea of hitting a wall from the red pill space and reframe it by using the concepts from the athletic and academic work.
How do we live a fulfilling life if we think a wall at 30, 40, 80 stops us?
Usually when you are a writer, you hit a wall as a write, you are stuck and can’t think of things to say.
What do great athletes, actors, academics, or couples do when this happens?
They transform themselves into the person they need to be to win.
What do we do that? We live by:
Transforming Our Minds: We change how we see the world by changing how we think. If there is no wall, there is nothing stopping us from winning. Lisa Nicholas, famous speaker married her love at 54. Imagine if she gave up at 30.
Define Our Own Destiny: We make mistakes, we change environments, we shift career goals. I am 38 and am not doing what I thought for myself. I am not in the military, I am not a news reporter, I didn’t graduate college until 30. Life happens. I chose what I do now, and I live my life in that decision because I didn’t give up.
Stop Feeling Sorry: Tuesday, we talked about victim mentality. It changes how we think and see ourselves. It hinders us from owning our own lot in life. We can’t grow younger; we can’t control every situation. Instead, we do what we can. We make better choices, we seek out advice, we listen to our own bodies, we go get therapy. We get up and we win. As someone who wanted to commit suicide, I had to make the choice to live and decide I deserved my life as it was.
Stop Listening to Nonsense: When we don’t know what to do we look outward. But not every person with a platform knows what they are talking about. We have to be cautious of people’s motives, look at the return on investment of their ideas and read lots of books from a vast array of sources. We must be deligent in doing the work to understand real life and not the fantasies that these influencers create and instead decide for ourselves what can or cannot work. If you are 31, what are you supposed to do? Not give up. Your age doesn’t determine your destiny, you do.
Be Iconic
Being Iconic is understanding the power you have over your life.
With the guidance of God, the Holy Spirit, understanding spiritual laws and principles and how politics can protect what you are building, there is nothing stopping you from achieving the marriage and family life you deserve.
No political policy, no movement can give you your own power; you must take it.
You must decide today that your life is worth saving and that you are enough regardless of your age.
And that anyone in your space to love you must value you the same.
The only crisis today is the crisis of self, that we have lost sight of our individual worth in concepts like “the wall” or high and low value.
You are enough. You now have to do something with that knowledge for your destiny.
Taking that into your married life means you are sure and 100% ready to do the work that it takes for your social empire.
And remember, in everything you do, be Iconic.
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