Throw it Back: The Ultimate Guide to Spicing Up Your Marital Sex with 7 Sizzling Ideas
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Throw it Back: The Ultimate Guide to Spicing Up Your Marital Sex with 7 Sizzling Ideas
Some people think marital sex is boring.
Or that, talking about sex or the lack thereof is private, and couples should keep it to themselves.
I encourage couples to do what they can to make their bedroom time, or outside of it, as hot and heavy as possible with the love they share.
It keeps you guys guessing and loving every minute.
Here are 7 Sizzling Ideas to make monogamy the best option for the long haul and making babies that much hotter.
Idea #1: Get in Shape/Work out together
Yes, people at any size can do amazing things. But when you can still use your knees like Megan the Stallion and get low like some songs suggest, it helps.
From stretching and working on tight hips, you are making so that your time together is not impeded by physical limitations. (There are ideas online if you do have these).
And this isn’t to say that if you do have physical limitations, you are stuck. There are ways to work around them too if you and your partner are creative.
Height and/or weight differences can be overcome with shopping around, taller shoes, different outfits and a little ingenuity.
Exercise can help get your stamina and heart rate up so when its time you are ready. Working out also helps fight insecurities and depression.
In fact, having your spouse be your partners gives you two something else you share and can do together.
Just make sure when you exercising you take note of your improvements not to be so hard on yourself during plateaus or if you fall off the wagon.
A healthy house can help create a happy spouse.
Idea #2: Throw It Back
Like the Missy Song has double Dutch, sometimes you have to do that thing you know your spouse loves.
It is always good to try something new and remix old moves, but sometimes throwing back to when you two first got intimate keeps the intensity alive.
Having that special thing that only your spouse knows how to do and him/her knowing your body like no one else, is a bond that is unique to your social empire.
That can be a quicky to get it in and out while the kids are sleep or something more elaborately planned to remind you of your honeymoon.
Going down memory lane isn’t always a bad idea. All the puns are intended.
Idea #3: Help Yourself
Sometimes you are alone, and your spouse is away. There is nothing with some solo time or to get yourself ready for when they return.
There are a lot of things on the market. And you don’t need porn to do.
As always use resources and books to help you learn your own body and needs.
That helps you better explain to your other what your needs are and how they can meet them.
You can also prepare yourself a few hours before they return or to help yourself out if they won’t be back for a while.
Solo time isn’t time to focus outside of your relationship or household but to center yourself more towards it.
It can also be a time you work on your own self and needs through self-care, self-love and maintenance far as exercise, relaxation and more.
Helping yourself, whether mentally, sexually, spiritually or physically, is all for the benefit of your overall empire.
And praying, staying in the work of God and more, could never hurt. (Song of Solomon is good scripture for couples).
Idea #4: Build Emotional Intimacy
For most women, sex starts in the mind. And for men, that can work to as their visual ques turn into thoughts and then strong feelings.
When you build the emotional bond between the two, that can explode through hot and passionate sex because you are physically, mentally and spiritually connect to that other person.
Sex between loving partners is more likely to produce a female orgasm than sex without an emotional connection.
Another great benefit of having an emotional connection with your partner during sex is the release of oxytocin. This bonding hormone is released when you are touching someone that you love. 10 Benefits of an Emotional Connection Between Loving Partners (marriage.com)
How do you build this intimacy?
Honest communication
Frequent Sex
Solutions to issues that both agree on
Address Problems as they arrive
Time apart from each other and the kids
Recognizing the value that they bring that isn’t just superficial.
Thinking of all the things my husband and I have been through together from war, a miscarriage, grief, health scares and more makes our sex life that much steamier because the person I am with has been there for me through it all.
That is something casual sex could never match.
Don’t Give Up
Marriage is not easy, but it is doable.
Most times we don’t have the right resources, the right upbringing or just choose the wrong partners and that is why relationships fail.
My husband and I boiled down our relationship to a single ideology that has kept us together for 12 years through a lot of unforeseen circumstances that we have pushed through; we never gave up.
In my latest eBook, “Don’t Give Up: A guide to Help Navigate Modern Marriages and Win” I discuss keep important factors to help you when and build a social empire that lasts.
Many organizations, media outlets and political figure heads will talk all day about the need for wholesome families, intact homes and marriage.
Yet, where do people go for realistic help in navigating the craziness that dominates our media, our content and our society?
Iconic Media is here.
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Idea #5: Take it to the Edge
Edging is the ability to bring your partner very close to climax and then backing off. Then doing that repeatedly until you finally get them there.
"First, use your hand or a toy to stimulate the clitoris or penis until your partner feels very aroused and close to orgasm. Next, pause the stimulation temporarily, until the orgasmic feelings subside. Continue this practice by repeating the above process several times until your partner is ready to climax and release." 12 Amazing Sex Tips for a Better Sex Life (theknot.com)
This takes practice and knowing the cues and signs of your partners orgasmic traits.
This is also very fun and you two may even laugh once you each understand what is happening.
This could take different angles, different breathing techniques and more.
Having fund exploring how and when to get your spouse off and to keep them guessing spices up every interaction you have.
Idea #6: Value Foreplay
Foreplay isn’t just 5 minutes before you penetrate. Foreplay can be hours or days before your date night.
It can involve lots of mind games and dirty talk long before you two see each other.
Raunchy text messages, emailing your office spouse who is on the computer a lot, sexy emoji and funny jokes during conversation.
Getting your WAP comes with work. Just rushing isn’t always great if it is a quicky and can lead to pain and soreness.
Foreplay is fun and can bring you through a rough day or a down time.
It’s also important to build up to penetrative sex, if that is still your end goal. Vaginas need time to self-lubricate (or you can add lube if you have difficulty getting wet), before penetration. An un-lubricated vagina is more at risk of tearing, injury and soreness. Plus, being wetter just feels more pleasurable. How to do foreplay: 11 tips for better love play before sex (netdoctor.co.uk)
Don’t just rush to the genitals. Utilize the entire body and remember that men are sensitive in areas too.
‘Don’t ignore the face, the neck, the earlobes, or any other area of the body that’s extra-sensitive,’ she adds.
Enjoy your entire spouse and get to know their entire body from head to toe. You should know them better than their doctor.
Remember to communicate and BE HONEST. It might suck to hear something isn’t right but there is a sweet and sexy way to say what you want.
Remember to use your words to empower and encourage what you want from your partner.
Don’t just lay there and receive. Be in the moment and be an ever-present participant in what is going on.
Idea #7: Remember the Love
When you think of your children, you get warm and fuzzy feelings. You remember their sweat baby smiles, their coos and their little tiny fingers.
Do the same for your spouse.
Remember why you married them. What they have done for you. What attracted you to them and what they bring to your mind, body and soul.
When we focus on their positive traits, its makes it all the easier to get hot and steamy for them and with them.
Focus on the ways they helped you that day. The ways they continually make you smile, the reason they are better for you than anyone else and how they continually make you feel special.
Focus on the who individual apart from you. How smart he or she is, how helpful they are to their own families, kids and community. Think about how awesome God had to be to make this person and to let you align your life in such a way that you share it with them.
Spicy and hot sex is that much easier when the love you have in your hard for your beloved is on your mind. When you recognize them for the human being that they are, and they made a vow to choose you.
Think about what you have and are building with them and how impossible it is without them.
Think about that one day that they won’t always be here, and that time will be a sad one so you can appreciate all there is with them here and now.
Honor them with your heart and your thoughts. And the sex will be grand.
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