Top Secret Every Man Should Know about Women Who Desire Marriage
Good morning, Icons,
Thank you so much for continually coming back to enjoy the information we are putting out for you over here at the Iconic newsletter.
We are working hard to bring you information that empowers both men and women to have a marriage that not only lasts but thrives.
Free subscribers get content daily to read as they go about their day and to spart conversations.
If you would like to read our paid content, get a copy of “Iconic” the eBook in a welcome email and/or get eBooks each year, think of becoming a paid subscriber for just $50 a year (One-time fee) or $5 a month.
That supports the work. Other ways to support the work is to donate $25 or more to our Iconic fundraiser that helps us show up online daily. You can become an Iconic donor today at the button below:
Today’s Post: Top Secret Every Man Should Know about Women Who Desire Marriage
You guys are doing great helping me with my questions that are important to the foundation of an Iconic marriage.
Tension between the genders/sexes could not be higher. And yet, we are moving further apart instead of towards one another.
We get it, today’s woman is called Toxic. Men have so much commentary ABOUT women.
But what is a KEY thing that men, from women, should know who do desire to get married one day?
We need more understanding of our differences so we can love each other as best we can. Therefore, I posed a question to Icons over at Twitter to glean their insights:
One commentator hit the nail on the hide and drove further discussion and I thank Molly for her comments:
She provides the TOP comment of why men should understand about women:
STOP THINKING YOU CAN FIX THEM!!
We know that people say that you should never hook up with crazy and people reply back with that bold statement to the effect of “fixing them”.
You are not “Bob the Builder” or “Mike Holmes”. Let the contractors build. You build with someone not fixing who they are and what they choose as their character.
That is an individual’s job.
And that is the WRONG way to look at relationships and marriage; trying to fix or build a person.
STOP IT.
You cannot Fix anyone. Instead, you BUILD with them. So, if they are fixing themselves, you offer support, assistances and a hand. You are part of a team.
“Best marriages are the ones in which partners grow together to become the best versions of themselves.” – Anonymous
150+ Marriage Quotes You Will Love
And people agreed with this Tweet.
For real, Right Todd. If we could be fixed, we'd do it ourselves. And many of us are working on it. Some of us Christian’s say, “God is not through with me yet”. That means that we are still works in progress and there is so much more fixing left to do.
Why not just give it to our Creator and let Jesus do his thing. I know that I am trying and fail daily to fix me! And yet, I put in that work.
But I would not want to put that burden all on my husband. That is not the right thing to do.
Kimberly, ain’t that the truth! We have so much to juggle especially if we are raising other tiny humans into contributing members of society, how do we add fixing a grown adult, that is not our child, to the mix?
Yes, many make jokes about how crazy women can be or how toxic, but it is better to start off with a partner who has their head on straight while we juggle political tensions, groceries bill costs rising and our car oil changes.
We have enough on our plates already.
I love the confidence here. They are happy with who they are, and they have a mate that aint trying to change a thing! That is the Iconic love we strive for.
Yes, we all can pick at our flaws and find something that needs tweaking but accepting your spouse as is, that is how we showed up at the altar or courthouse in the first place.
BUT I Love them….
Stop right there.
Dr. Marcie Reynolds is warning her audience over at Psychology Today that trying to fix a person has to stop.
We have this compulsion to want to be “helpful” but that is not always the case.
Marcie says:
Others sense this unequal relationship. If they came to you as unequal--that you are the one with the knowledge in this situation--they may eagerly listen and do what you suggest. This relationship can work when people are starting new ventures and clearly lack skills, experience and knowledge. They want your help. Hopefully you are right when you claim you are, so you don't lose their trust.
You could be hurting, men, that woman that you are so sure is too crazy, but you think it is a challenge.
You think crazy sex is worth the try and then you get hurt financially or even in your heart.
Quit fixing and start believing in others. Be curious to see what they know before you offer your advice. Determine if their ideas have value and they need more courage than direction. They may know the right answer but are afraid to take the next step. Share stories about times you faced similar situations and how you learned from your mistakes. You can give them the benefit of your experiences, but you can't give them experience. They need their own experiences and lessons to develop.
We tend to look at external factors and people to blame. But people only chat if and what they want.
Instead focus on yourself and find someone that matches that. Our goals are to build together not build with one lording over the other as some unfinished business.
“It’s time to care; it’s time to take responsibility; it’s time to lead; it’s time for a change; it’s time to be true to our greatest self; it’s time to stop blaming others.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
A better idea:
Instead of looking at relationships/marriage as a way to mold the person you want out of someone you think is pretty, rich or some other factor: look at as two people who meet their vision and needs as one.
Look at a potential spouse as a teammate, a partner.
Until then, work on yourself. Men, you can lead the best you can if you work to develop your own set of skills. Everyone has something they can work on.
The real secret is this: If you feel like your potential is a project and will take work to be who you envision, she may not be the woman for you.
Find a wife, find a good thing. Proverbs 18:22
You can have an Iconic marriage
Marriage is always seen as something hard today. It is described as a ball in chain or something that takes away our joy.
That could not be further from the truth and those of us who know, know, how wonderful it truly can be.
That is why Iconic is here.
We are calling you, to subscribe to this Iconic newsletter!
Subscribe to the newsletter for your daily motivational articles and provide a comment to let us know what you think to keep the conversation going.
Paid subscribers get “Iconic” the eBook as a gift in the Welcome email for just $50 a year (a one-time) fee and a new eBook every year.
Our Vision is to empower men and women to build better social empires.
Our mission is to build 1 million Iconic marriages over the next 25 years.
And our goal is to get started today.
Subscribe and remember, in everything you do, Be Iconic.