Using the Power of Reframing to Develop your Kingdom Dating Mindset and Win at Love
Navigating Negativity & Believing in Covenant | The Last Day of our Kingdom Dating eSeries
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Using the Power of Reframing to Develop your Kingdom Dating Mindset and Win at Love
After my fiancé and I broke up, I felt like a failure. I had already lost a boyfriend before him, and this was supposed to be it. I messed up and so did he. But none of that mattered, I was alone and heartbroken how everything turned out.
That made me bitter. I started choosing bad relationships after him and going from terrible to worse. It made me start believing true love wasn’t for me, that the right man wasn’t out there or even worse, that I wasn’t marriage material
I didn’t know what I was doing, what I wanted, or even if I wanted to date anymore.
Then my husband grew the courage to write me a letter. As we started to date, we would have tough conversations. He was open and honest with me, we’d fight, but we would come back to each other ready to love and work things out. We fought for our love in each other.
Last Friday we celebrated 14 years married, we’ve been together for 15 and known each other since 2007. What I learned from my husband is that you only need to find the right person. You have to change your mind to winning before you actually can.
I made up my mind to love this man for the rest of my life and I meant it.
In a world where cynicism about love, marriage, and relationships runs rampant—especially on social media—Kingdom-minded dating requires intentional reframing of how we view romance, commitment, and God's plan for marriage.
What Is Reframing?
Today is the last newsletter on Kingdom Dating and I want to leave you with something that will help you start winning. Winning starts in the mind. How we think helps us achieve our goals. With reframing, we change how we think to become more.
Reframing is the act of changing your perspective on situations, emotions, and circumstances to see them in a new light. Instead of being consumed by negativity, reframing helps you align your thinking with God’s truth rather than the world's opinions.
In Kingdom dating, reframing is a powerful tool to: ✅ Guard your heart against bitterness. ✅ Shift from hopelessness to faith-driven expectation. ✅ See marriage as a blessing, not a burden. ✅ Reject toxic narratives and embrace God’s design for love.
The Problem: Bitterness & Social Media Negativity
If you've spent any time on social media, you've seen it:
Marriage is a trap.
All men/women cheat.
Love is dead—stay single forever.
Relationships are transactional, not sacred.
These messages plant seeds of doubt, making people question if healthy love is even possible. Many of them come from hurt—people projecting their personal wounds onto others. But as believers, we must be careful not to internalize someone else's pain as our truth. Truth comes from God, and if anything is possible, a healthy marriage is.
Reframing for Kingdom Dating
Instead of absorbing negativity, intentionally reframe how you see marriage and dating.
🔥 Instead of: “All relationships end in failure.” 💡 Reframe as: “God can lead me to a marriage that reflects His love and faithfulness.”
🔥 Instead of: “Men/women are trash.” 💡 Reframe as: “God created men and women with purpose and value—there are Kingdom-minded partners out there.”
🔥 Instead of: “Marriage is just a burden.” 💡 Reframe as: “Marriage is a covenant where two people serve and love one another, just as Christ loves the Church.”
🔥 Instead of: “I’ll never find love like that.” 💡 Reframe as: “God knows the desires of my heart, and I trust Him to lead me to a relationship that honors Him.”
How Reframing Helps You Navigate Negativity
✔ Keeps you hopeful despite toxic narratives. ✔ Helps you filter the content you consume. ✔ Strengthens your discernment when dating. ✔ Ensures that your mindset aligns with Kingdom principles instead of worldly doubt.
Godly love is possible—but believing in it requires a renewed mind (Romans 12:2). The world may push fear and failure, but in Kingdom dating, we stand on faith, expectation, and divine purpose.
So, the next time social media tries to shake your belief in love—reframe, refocus, and remember that God has the final say on your future.
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Happy anniversary celebration to us—and thank you to all of you walking the Kingdom path. Let’s continue growing in faith and love. Be good to each other, Break fear and remember in all you do, Be Iconic.
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The Reframing Game Changer
Reframing is a game-changer in Kingdom dating—it shifts your mindset from fear to faith, from confusion to clarity, and from worldly perspectives to biblical truth. Here are more ways reframing can help you navigate dating with purpose and peace while building toward a God-centered marriage:
1. Reframing Singleness as Preparation, Not Punishment
🔥 Instead of: “I’m tired of being single—maybe love isn’t meant for me.” 💡 Reframe as: “This season is where God refines me, strengthens me, and prepares me for the right relationship.”
Why It Helps: Many people see singleness as a waiting period, when in reality, it’s a preparation season. Instead of dwelling on loneliness, use this time to build character, heal past wounds, strengthen your faith, and align with God's purpose.
2. Reframing Rejection as Protection
🔥 Instead of: “Why did they ghost me? Maybe I wasn’t good enough.” 💡 Reframe as: “If they walked away, they were never part of God’s plan for me. I trust His protection over my love life.”
Why It Helps: Rejection hurts, but reframing allows you to see it as God’s divine redirection. When someone exits your life, it’s often because they weren’t the person God had for you. His “No” is His better “Yes” in disguise.
3. Reframing Conflict as Growth, Not a Dealbreaker
🔥 Instead of: “We had an argument—maybe this isn’t meant to be.” 💡 Reframe as: “Disagreements help us understand each other. Let’s learn from this and communicate better.”
Why It Helps: All relationships face conflict, but healthy relationships grow through it. Instead of viewing arguments as red flags, use them as opportunities to practice grace, forgiveness, and emotional intelligence.
4. Reframing the World’s Negative Views on Marriage
🔥 Instead of: “Marriage is outdated and stressful—I don’t want to end up unhappy.” 💡 Reframe as: “God designed marriage as a covenant, not a contract. With wisdom and faith, it can be fulfilling and joyful.”
Why It Helps: Social media distorts the reality of marriage with negativity. But when two Kingdom-minded people commit to a God-centered union, marriage can be a beautiful reflection of Christ’s love.
5. Reframing Dating as an Act of Service, Not Just Romance
🔥 Instead of: “I hope they meet my expectations.” 💡 Reframe as: “How can I serve this person and encourage their growth in Christ?”
Why It Helps: Kingdom relationships aren’t self-centered—they’re about mutual growth. Reframing dating as an opportunity to serve, uplift, and support creates an intentional and meaningful relationship.
Final Thoughts: Kingdom Dating
Reframing transforms doubt into faith, frustration into wisdom, and disappointment into opportunity. When you choose to see dating through a Kingdom lens, you remove fear and deception, allowing love to flow as God intended.
You won’t suck up content that projects negativity, doubt, pain, bas stats and more onto that fuels your rage and wraith but you’ll seek out solutions that elevate your mind, body and soul preparing you for you mate if that’s for you.
Keep trusting, believing, and aligning your mindset with biblical truth—because a God-ordained Kingdom marriage is absolutely possible.
Has the Kingdom Dating and Marriage eSeries been a blessing to you? Let us know in the comments below. If there are any suggestions, questions or concern, feel free to send us a private message.
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