Whispered Words, Strengthened Souls: Kingdom Communication in Marriage
The Iconic Kingdom Marriage eSeries | Applying these Principles to your marriage as a Lifeline to Marital Success Proverbs 15: 1
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Thank you so much for your support as we move into Holy Week, Day #4 as part of our Kingdom Marriages eSeries. Today’s lesson is the principle of Communication.
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Now today’s lesson:
Whispered Words, Strengthened Souls: Kingdom Communication in Marriage
Sharing my heart with him, I wrote a deep letter to my husband, my boyfriend at the time, telling him how I really valued him and how upset I was that he was leaving me. Sweating, I didn’t know how he would respond to my email because we hadn’t been dating that long but we had just broken up. I was hurt but I wanted him to know the truth.
He responds with facts.
He told me that some of what I said to him was not true (I was upset). That I knew that he was different from other men. That I tend to call any person my friend. That he was something deeper and different, but he needed time to sort out his thoughts and his head. That he had things he wanted to work on that had nothing to do with me.
You, know how it goes. I was reading it, but I wasn’t. I was ready to move on. Eventually, I accepted that we were no longer. I remained cordial and I kept busy with work and family.
Then, it happened.
“Pinky” came across my Yahoo messenger.
I was on military leave, vacation, at my parents’ apartment enjoying my day with them when I went to use my mom’s computer. He texted me in private how I was and told me about his own vacation. I kept it peaceful expecting nothing. It was a lot of small talk.
Someone once told me, “Whatever will be will be.” That someone was him. Fortunately, I took that message to heart. I was even okay with us just being work buddies again. He, however, had other ideas.
He eventually got the courage to tell me he missed me and wanted us to try again.
What? I thought he wanted us to break up and just go back to being coworkers.
That was over 16 years ago.
Today, we use instant message to check on each other, show love, relay important messages and more. Our communication has gotten more concise, and we can' almost guess what the other one is saying. We’ve skillfully through trial and error learned how to speak to each other in such a way that we both want our conversations to last forever.
In the sacred tapestry of Kingdom Marriages, communication is the golden thread that holds it all together. Proverbs 15:1 sets the foundation for this truth: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Words are powerful—they can either build bridges of understanding or construct walls of division. Let’s dive into how grace-filled conversations can elevate your marriage and examine moments from pop culture that illuminate both the triumphs and pitfalls of communication in relationships.
Gentle Answers: A Path to Intimacy
Kingdom communication is marked by honesty, grace, and kindness. When couples prioritize these qualities, they foster emotional intimacy and mutual respect. The relationship between Randall and Beth Pearson in This Is Us exemplifies this beautifully. When Randall is overwhelmed, Beth responds not with frustration but with empathy. She listens intently and offers reassurance—her gentle answers provide a safe haven in turbulent times.
This approach mirrors the biblical principle of turning away wrath. Imagine how these moments might look in your own marriage: providing a calm response during heated debates or reassuring your spouse when stress weighs them down. These acts of grace-filled communication build trust and strengthen the emotional connection.
Harsh Words: A Roadblock to Harmony
On the other hand, harsh communication can hinder emotional intimacy and stir up anger. Take Noah and Allie from The Notebook, for instance. While their love is passionate, their arguments often escalate with shouting and hurtful words. These exchanges demonstrate the danger of allowing frustration to guide conversations—rather than resolving conflicts, they deepen them.
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Proverbs warn us against such patterns. In marriage, avoiding sharp and unkind words can prevent misunderstandings and pave the way for genuine resolution. Imagine responding with patience and calm, even when emotions run high—it’s a way of honoring your spouse and preserving the sacredness of your union.
Actionable Insights for Your Kingdom Marriage
To embody the principle of Proverbs 15:1, here are practical steps you can take:
Pause Before Responding: Take a moment to pray or reflect before reacting in heated moments.
Listen Without Interrupting: Practice active listening, giving your spouse the space to share their feelings fully.
Choose Words Wisely: Focus on speaking words that uplift and encourage, even when discussing difficult topics.
Create a Safe Space: Foster an environment where both you and your spouse feel comfortable sharing your hearts without fear of judgment.
Reflecting Christ in Your Communication
When Kingdom couples commit to grace-filled communication, they reflect the love of Christ to each other and to the world. Imagine a marriage where every word is seasoned with kindness, where disagreements are approached with patience, and where understanding is the ultimate goal. This is the power of whispered words and strengthened souls—it’s the essence of Kingdom communication.
Let your marriage be a living testimony of Proverbs 15:1. Whisper gentle answers. Turn away wrath. Build bridges with your words, and watch your union thrive in God’s grace.
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Making the Connection
The principles of communication, particularly in Kingdom marriages, are deeply intertwined with biblical teachings on relationships. At their core, these principles reflect God's design for how people should interact with one another, emphasizing love, respect, grace, and humility. Here's how they connect:
1. The Power of Words
Proverbs 15:1 underscores the transformative power of gentle communication: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” This reflects God’s desire for our words to bring peace and healing rather than conflict. In marriage, this principle encourages spouses to approach each other with care, ensuring that their speech uplifts rather than tears down—mirroring Ephesians 4:29: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.”
2. Humility and Servanthood
Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” This teaching directly supports the principle of effective communication in marriage by highlighting the importance of listening, understanding, and prioritizing the needs of your spouse over your own. Such humility builds trust and deepens emotional intimacy.
3. Grace and Forgiveness
Biblical communication is also rooted in grace and forgiveness, as seen in Colossians 4:6: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” In marriage, this means approaching conflicts and misunderstandings with a heart of forgiveness and a commitment to reconciliation, as seen in Matthew 18:21-22, where Jesus calls us to forgive “seventy times seven.”
4. Unity and Love
The greatest commandments, as stated by Jesus in Matthew 22:37-39, are to love God and love others. This teaching is foundational for marriage, where communication should reflect the sacrificial and unconditional love that Christ has for His Church (Ephesians 5:25). When spouses communicate with love and patience, they model the unity and harmony that God desires in all relationships.
5. Building Each Other Up
Biblical teachings encourage us to use our words to strengthen and encourage others. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” In marriage, this principle reminds couples to offer support, affirmations, and encouragement, fostering a relationship that mirrors God’s love and grace.
These principles are not just guidelines—they're a calling to reflect Christ in our marriages and relationships. They create a foundation for enduring partnerships that thrive on understanding, mutual respect, and spiritual unity. Would you like to explore how these principles could be practically implemented in specific situations?
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