Winning in Marriage: 5 Truths Every Couple Should Know
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Winning in Marriage: 5 Truths Every Couple Should Know
We come across all sorts of interesting information about marriage online.
The modern notion is that it is just a piece of paper or that it isn’t for everyone that wants to try it.
And that couldn’t be further from the truth.
We want to tell you some honest truths you should know about marriage that should empower you to do this for the long haul.
Truth #1: Your Spouse is Not Your Child
It is not your job to raise your spouse. Husbands are called to lead, and wives are called to support.
That does not mean you are their boss.
Leadership means self-less service in which the husband has a Vision that the wife helps implement.
You are not their parent to tell them what to do but every activity from career choices, chores to parenting is a team effort.
Putting yourself in the role of "parent" and your partner in the role of "child" is demeaning and can actually be counterproductive. Your partner might come to resent you for taking on a controlling role in your relationship. This can cause serious damage to your marriage. Why It's Not OK to Treat Your Partner Like a Child (verywellmind.com)
The things that we didn’t learn from our parents are rectifiable through more education, using online resources and reaching out for help.
If you have to rear your spouse something is the matter, that was the job of their parents.
Truth #2: Your Spouse is a Unique Individual.
Marriage is not a build a bear shop. You aren’t supposed to be molding another human into a perfect mate for you. You are supposed to be marrying them as they are and in who they choose to be.
The characteristics that you want in a mate should have been analyzed during the courting process with elders guiding you on their own experience on finding a mate.
Not looking out for those traits, marriage is usually too late to try to “make” someone do what you want.
Your differences make you who you are. A unique human being. By respecting each other’s differences, and finding a compromise that works for both of you, you can not only reconcile these differences but create a stronger partnership in your marriage. Differences in Marriage: How to Discover, Work Through, and Reconcile (ourpeacefulfamily.com)
Yes, you can grow and change but it is to happen together.
Men and women are different. People have different upbringing, cultural traits and ideas that they bring to the relationship.
Stop trying to have a doppelgänger out of your mate and leverage what they can contribute to your overall empire.
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Truth #3: Being Wrong is not an L
Lots of times we want people to acknowledge that we were right. That we knew what we were talking about, and our predictions are true.
But in marriage, we are building with another unique individuals and many things can go wrong, be misunderstood or even downright hurtful.
It isn’t a loss to admit we messed up or that we can in fact be wrong about something.
Admitting that we said something hurtful, forgot an important date or decided to do something that our love didn’t like is not a loss but actually a win.
Talking about our missteps empowers us to remember that we are human. It allows us to stay humble no matter how many times we are blessed with money, success or fame.
True strength of character is revealed when a person recognizes and acknowledges his or her failures, yet has the persistence and insight to keep moving forward. When people admit they were wrong, they reveal they're not only confident, but also humble and adaptable. Science Of Strength: Why Successful People Admit When They're Wrong (elitedaily.com)
Truth #4: Marriage will Not Solve All Your Problems
If you are an addict, hothead, bad with finances, unemotional or mentally unstable, marriage will not make that better.
Marriage isn’t some cure all to your own character flaws and problems.
Debt can be made worse when you marry someone that is irresponsible with money and does not just go away with a ring.
Any unaddressed problems you had before your marriage, you’ll still have when you get married. You may even carry them into future marriages. Marriage isn’t a magic wand that can take a person’s troubles away (even if it feels like that’s what happening in the beginning). Take inventory of the issues you “bring to the marriage table” and address them with the love and support of your spouse. Top 10 Myths about Marriage - Marina Edelman, Marriage and Family Therapist
Issues should be worked out during the courting phase and suitors should be weeded out. It isn’t just for fun and romance, you are evaluating if this individual is the right one for you.
So, use your single time for self-reflection being honest about your flaws to improve on them.
I know you want someone to accept you for who you are and that’s it.
That is unrealistic and unfair to put your flaws and troubles onto someone you love when you have time as a single person to become the best version of you possible.
Love is not blind. It takes work to sacrifice in marriage, start with sacrificing for yourself and then you can be at a better starting point when you say, “I Do”.
Don’t Give Up: eBook Launch is Here!
Marriage is not easy, but it is doable. Yes, even in today’s society.
Most times we don’t have the right resources, the right upbringing or just choose the wrong partners and that is why relationships fail.
My husband and I boiled down our relationship to a single ideology that has kept us together for 12 years through a lot of unforeseen circumstances that we have pushed through; we never gave up.
In my latest eBook, “Don’t Give Up: A guide to Help Navigate Modern Marriages and Win” I discuss key important factors to help you win and build a social empire that lasts.
The official eBook is here!
In Chapter 1, we make the Case for Marriage just like the authors of the book of the same name. We challenge you to hear the case out and judge for yourself.
Many organizations, media outlets and political figure heads will talk all day about the need for wholesome families, intact homes and marriage.
Yet, where do people go for realistic help in navigating the craziness that dominates our media, our content and our society?
Iconic Media is here. Get your Copy now with a Premium subscription.
Truth #5: Married Sex can be Awesome
This idea that men have to slay multiple women or that women can be left unsatisfied in marriage have some truth to it.
But the real truth is, that married couples who love and respect one another can have an awesome sex life.
And many of those complaining are more than likely having other marital problems that are bleeding into their sex life or are a result of a bad relationship.
We know that troupe that marriage is where sex goes to die, but that is more fiction than reality.
Truth is that couples who have a lower sexual relationship tend to stem from medical or martial problems that they must focus on that sex becomes less important.
Satisfaction and interpersonal connection are more important in marriage than the frequency of sexual intimacy. There is also a strong connection between well-being, positive emotions, and sex.
Mutual respect is a huge contributor to sexual satisfaction. Respondents in research studies reported that they are looking for the following for an improved sex life:
More quality time with their partner
More love and romance
Less stress How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex? (webmd.com)
The block quote makes an important point. Good sex isn’t just going to happen because you walked down the aisle. It is all interconnected with the overall marriage through good communication, positive sense of self and flow of the family.
Positive and healthy married people just tend to have more sex and vice versa.
That is because the less stress of an argument, more commitment to quality time and focus on overall medical health leads way to even wanting to get in the sack.
This television troupe of less sex no sex came out of the early ‘50s where executives didn’t want sex on the tv, even between couples.
And the lie that married sex was terrible most likely came from people divorce or those who are actually in bad relationships.
Before you jump to diagnosis your marriage as bad because of less sex, first evaluate if there are other problems like the age of the couple or a depression, for example.
This isn’t something that can’t be turned around if it is just from being too busy, a few changes in health habits and better communication.
A good marriage should include a healthy sex life that makes both couples happy.
And that is the business of you and your lover to figure out.
Key Takeaways
There are a lot of lies and bad influencers leading people astray when it comes to marriage.
Marriage is a life hack when done right with the right person.
Grabbing conversations from experiences couples will show you the myths about marriage are usually false and there are truths to help you win.
And when you understand that truth about marriage, be honest with yourself and your spouse, you two can have the marriage of your dreams.
And in building your social empires, be Iconic.
"The Iconic Formula for Marriage Success eCourse": 12-Step Foundational Blueprint
Are you having issues in your relationship that needs to be addressed?
Are you starving for content that teaches and uplifts instead of dehumanizing, toxic gender bashing material?
Do you want real world coaching that tackles real life issues and brings your relationship to today’s world?
Then Iconic is here for you!
This 30-day online course will teach you and your spouse 12 foundational principles to help you map a 25-year success plan for your marriage.
Core lessons include:
How to Cultivate the Mindset for a Successful Marriage
How to Develop the Mental Fortitude to Combat Marriage Challenges
How to Develop Your Marriage’s Vision and Mission Plan
How to Practice Self-Love So You Know How Best to Love Your Spouse
How to Develop a Financial Plan for Your Social Empire’s Success
How to Develop Effective Communication Strategies Based on Your Spouse’s Preferred Methods and more!
At the end of this empowering course, you will receive:
A master blueprint for success in your marriage
An online support network to collaborate with other couples.
And 3 months to the Paid version Iconic newsletter
This new course is in beta stage, and this will be the first launch.
That’s right. Get the eCourse for $100. Remember to click “awards”.
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