Why Submission is Not Synonymous with Weakness in Marriage & 4 Hacks to do it Masterfully

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Good Morning, Icons,

We are back at it with another Iconic newsletter for you to empower you to have a successful marriage that thrives.

I pray that you are reaching your goals in life, love, marriage and family.

With so much talk about masculinity, femininity and what is or isn’t expected in a relationship, I wanted to go back and define some terms for us and what to do with that information.

Before we dive in, do not forget that your comments and opinions are a valuable part of our Iconic community.

So please, like, share and comment below. Tell us what you think. We’d love to hear from you.

Let’s Dive in: What is Submission?

Before we dive into how true submission can benefit your marriage, let us talk about what submission means?

We often hear women have a distaste in their mouths about the bible telling us to submit to our husbands.

But do women actually know what they mean, or do they get that scholarship from an anti-theistic society that is feminist?

Submission gives the connotation of wrestling into a controlled position or underneath subjugated.

And that is wrong.

Submission was used in the past to keep women underneath the thumb of a husband because of the sins of Eve even though man didn't fall until Adam ate the fruit.

Adam erred too.

According to "God's Word to Women”, a Christian based blog post, submission as modern English speakers translate it isn't the accurate definition.

Recent scholarship has made clear the understanding the people to whom these letters were written would have of hupotasso, the word translated submit. Submit (godswordtowomen.org) 

But does submit mean subjugation or being underneath that of a man ruler or authority? Not quite.

Further reading suggests,

"It has nothing to do with being subordinate to, secondary to, or subject to.  The correct meaning is especially important and clear when considered against the cultural backdrop, that is to say, when it is understood in the light of the marriage customs and the culture of the people to whom Paul was writing." 

The modern position that many women believe submission means and many anti-women men hold dear is one that is incorrect.

Those in err, think the biblical definition of marriage is bad because of so-called Christian practices and cults that allowed men to mistreat women and that men are supposed to be over women in a controlling/authoritarian manner.

They compare every instance with men to be that of subjugation of women.

Regardless of the relationship of that man to that woman.

I often have to tell men on Twitter who often talk about how unsubmissive women who isn’t their wife are, that they do not get to talk about women who are not their wives in relationship to themselves.

This was actually talking about in "support of".

Submission means to support.

Example

As a combat veteran, I was considered a support soldier. Meaning, my job was in support of the Army's primary mission and that was the infantry soldiers. I was a cook.

Obviously, the Army wasn't designed to eat. Cooks were used to make sure the other soldiers were fed. The military ran on its stomach.

It didn't make me lesser than to support others with food. And in fact, many appreciated our work in the field when it was hot or cold and they spent a lot of time training and needed to eat. 

You realize how important support is when you need ammo for your weapons, communications for your radio equipment or supplies to get your gear.

Marriage is the same way!

Wives are not subordinate to the husband, lesser than or childlike.

They are like co-pilots, wingmen to help get the pilot to his destination.

We are a big deal. We are to be loved as Jesus loves his bride, the church. 

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (biblehub.com) 

We are the helper to our husbands' Vision and authority. Women can uplift a vision, or we can tear it all down as you have seen women in the bible and throughout history.

Do you want to know more about how Vision plays a role in marriage?

Pick up our “Iconic” eBook and manual when you subscribe to this newsletter. It is $5 a month'/$50 a year.

In it, is 5 core lessons on how to have an Iconic marriage that lasts, you won’t regret it.

Women, we are to be preparing ourselves to help men of vision before we even are found by a man.

It says, "A man that finds a wife finds a good thing"

Proverbs 18:22 , meaning she is a wife BEFORE he is even in the picture. 

How then is it meant that she becomes underneath him, if she is already wifely without him?

See, we must understand the difference between what we are taught to keep us oppressed and what God actually wanted for the marriage union.

Why Submission is Not Synonymous with Weakness in Marriage & 4 Hacks to do it Masterfully

Not only can you be a submissive wife or have one, but there are 4 Hacks to do it right and make it work beautifully.

Let me help you master submission that lets you provide the fire behind your marriage and win.

All these hacks are with husbands who are doing their work to love you as they love Christ and are fulfilling their duties in the homes.

Hack #1: Let your Husband lead

If he has a specific idea for you and your family, let him lead. And then you back him up. It is you and him against the world. Trust in his Vision and his leadership by not crushing his ideas or dreams. This doesn’t mean you cannot add suggestions or talk it through but let him be the head by supporting him as his mate.

Hack #2: Be receptive to his Sexual advances.

Yes, sometimes you may not want to have sex. But sex is more than the orgasms but intimacy building. You can show you love him and are thankful for all that he does and get yours in to. Try something new, initiate sometimes, and be there for new ideas. It isn’t about control but partnership.

Hack #3: Save Arguments for at home

You can speak your peace but do not belittle or embarrass him in public.

Respect means a lot to men. Show them often that your respect and love them even when they mess up by handling your dirty laundry at home. There is no need to hash out heated issues on social media, at his job or to his folks. You two are adult enough to get done what you need to without the nosy busybodies and public to give their two cents.

Hack #4: Respect yourself and never tolerate abuse

This one seems opposite, but you cannot support someone if you allow them to treat you like dirt. Toxic or narcissistic behavior should never be tolerated. When you show your husband that you do not tolerate mess, he can see the difference in your true and honest support.

Being upfront about what is or is not acceptable let’s him see the authentic you and that your love is for real.

Reminders

It was not the Lord that pit men and women against each other, it was sin. God created the rules after restoring order to the chaos that sin introduced to the world.

Women, you are not becoming lesser by becoming one with your love.

This seems to benefit only men but remember you two are working in tandem together.

When you do your part and he does his, you begin to walk in lockstep towards your dynasties and destinies in harmony and in peace.

Men, she is your Queen to be by your side and loved like you love Christ.

Iconic Marriages start with realizing these roles are not lesser than. Women aren't to treat their men like boys and Men aren't to treat their wives like slaves.

And the Bible is not an excuse to do it.

Remember, in all that you do, be Iconic.

References: (See Bauer's Greek-English Lexicon; Dr. S. Hyatt, In the Spirit We're Equal, 255-59; Edwin Stewart, Submission and Headship: Our Ridiculous Interpretation, and Drs. E. & S. Hyatt, Who's the Boss? )

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