The Law of Love and Respect in Kingdom Marriages
Our Iconic Kingdom Marriage eSeries | Diving Deeper into our 10 laws and principles to guide your eternal marriage Ephesians 5:21-22
Good morning, Icons,
We are back this week with our Kingdom Marriage eSeries. This week we will dive into the five laws that governor our Kingdom Marriage eSeries and should governor how you see your own marriage. These laws help you understand why Kingdom Marriages are different and helps elevate your own.
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Now into today’s lesson:
The Law of Love and Respect in Kingdom Marriages
I did not just fall for my husband because he was my friend. I also respected how he treated me and others. I developed a high admiration for how he helped other soldiers working very hard in our section of the military, and in our unit solve problems, how he was dependable when I and others needed it and how he was not scared to tell me I was wrong.
My husband was my best friend not just from the jokes we shared, the deployments to Iraq or the interests in the same music and entertainment, but he was my friend because he could motivate me when I was down, he could share secrets with me, and he was a companion.
The respect I have for my husband as my friend, lover, battle buddy has been more apparent as we had hardships with a miscarriage, my medical issues and the deaths in our families. In fact, this new season of mourning, grieving, and pain has been a test to our resilience as individuals and as a married couple while we have situations that we never expected. But God is still in control.
Marriage, you see, isn’t just about careers and chores, but love and respect. In fact, my husband’s help daily with the kids, the compassion as we mourn our deceased family, the detailed way he looks up remedies for my Crohn’s disease consistently shows his love for me.
Are we perfect? Heck no.
But it is our mutual love and respect that dictates how we argue, how we forgive and how we reconcile issues as they come. That devotion makes us put God first, then each other and then our family as a whole.
In two weeks, we will have been married for 14 years, together for 15 and known each other for 18. In this time, we’ve grown a deeper respect and love for each other that just grows the longer we are together. And we show our kids what true love and respect should look like
The Law of Love and Respect
Biblical Foundation:
Ephesians 5:33 – “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
In Kingdom Marriages, relationships are built not just on mutual affection but on divine principles rooted in God’s Word. Ephesians 5:33 serves as a guiding commandment for couples seeking to honor God within their marriage covenant. It outlines a transformative dynamic in which husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, while wives are called to show respect to their husbands. This sacred exchange nurtures a bond reflective of Christ’s relationship with the church, creating unity, peace, and purpose.
The Sacrificial Love of a Kingdom Husband
A Kingdom husband’s love goes beyond worldly standards—it mirrors Christ’s sacrificial love for His bride, the church. This love manifests in servanthood, spiritual leadership, and unwavering devotion. It’s marked by a deep commitment to his wife’s well-being, prioritizing her needs, and leading with humility. Kingdom husbands seek to cultivate an environment where their wives flourish emotionally, spiritually, and even physically, reflecting the heart of God in their actions.
The Respect of a Kingdom Wife
Respect within a Kingdom marriage isn’t passive; it’s an active acknowledgment of her husband’s God-given role as the spiritual leader. A Kingdom wife honors her husband through encouragement, prayer, and the affirmation of his strengths and efforts. By speaking life into her husband, a Kingdom wife uplifts him, fostering his confidence and capacity to lead with integrity. Her respect reinforces the divine design of partnership, balancing strength with grace.
Unity and Purpose in Kingdom Marriages
Kingdom Marriages are centered on fulfilling God’s purpose for the union. The Law of Love and Respect fosters a sacred alignment where both partners function as one body, working together to glorify God in their family, church, and community. This divine partnership thrives when both husband and wife focus on serving not only each other but also God’s Kingdom.
Practical Steps to Strengthen Kingdom Marriages
Prayer-Centered Partnership: Make prayer and spiritual growth together a daily priority, inviting God’s presence into the marriage.
Godly Love and Respect: Show love and respect as acts of obedience to God, not just reactions to each other’s behavior.
Regular Fellowship: Surround yourselves with other Kingdom couples who can offer encouragement and accountability.
Serve Together: Engage in ministry or acts of service as a couple, building your relationship around shared Kingdom work.
Seek Wisdom: Turn to Scripture and godly counsel for guidance when challenges arise.
Conclusion
A Kingdom Marriage isn’t just about two people—it’s about establishing a divine partnership that reflects the love of Christ to the world. By living out the Law of Love and Respect, couples not only strengthen their bond but also bring glory to God and His Kingdom. As husbands love their wives with Christlike devotion and wives respect their husbands with godly affirmation, they embody the eternal covenant of love and unity ordained by God.
Kingdom Marriages shine as a beacon of hope in a world searching for enduring love. Are there aspects of this perspective you feel particularly resonate with you? Let me know your thoughts!
BREAKING FEAR
In 2022, I wrote my first book about my miscarriage and the fear I experienced in Breaking Fear. In 2024, I re-released the book again with an epilogue about my daughter’s birth. I had a lot to say about fear.
But fear would rear its ugly head again in my life.
February 6, 2025 and on February 24, both my father and my brother passed away. Their deaths have forever impacted me. Through this grief, I learned God can use my personal story, as the story has already told.
I have many fears: of planes, of drowning, of leaving my kids in this chaotic world. Yet, God calls me not to worry. This is how I discovered His Kingdom message.
In Matthew 6:25, Jesus speaks to his disciples, who are worried about their basic needs. He tells them not to worry and instructs them to seek the Kingdom of God first and live righteously.
That my message to you today. I also encourage you to read my books to find strengthen for your trying days.
If you subscribe monthly, you will Breaking Fear 1. Subscribe yearly receive Breaking Book 2. Become a Foundation Icon member and receive all six of our Icon book collection delivered to your door.
Break Fear and be free today.
Misusing Ephesians 5:22: A Misguided Interpretation
Over the years, folks have been using Ephesians 22 to subjugate women because of what Eve did, all husbands have complete and utter control. They forget verse 21 and that mankind wasn’t doomed until Adam himself ate. Marriage is a union that represents Christ love for his bride and nowhere does Christ ever oppress the church.
We must be clear hear that while some misuse this verse, it does not mean that God does not have specific roles for husbands and wives. These roles, however, are to work in alignment with God’s will not to be a structure for abuse and misuse. Our marriages are supposed to be a ministry that draws folks into the Kingdom of God not away from it.
Ephesians 5:22, which states, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord," has often been misconstrued and misapplied to justify the oppression of women within marriage. Some interpretations focus solely on submission as a mandate for wives to accept unjust treatment or assume an inferior position, disregarding the holistic context of this passage and its surrounding verses. This misuse does not align with God’s intention for marriage—a union of mutual love, respect, and service to His Kingdom.
A Holistic View of Ephesians 5
To understand Ephesians 5:22, we must view it in the context of the larger passage, which includes Ephesians 5:21: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." This verse sets the tone for mutual submission—both husband and wife are called to honor and serve each other under God’s authority. Additionally, Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands to love their wives "just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." This kind of love is sacrificial, selfless, and deeply respectful. It challenges the notion that submission is one-sided and places an equally significant responsibility on husbands to cherish and honor their wives.
Wives Are Not Secondary in Kingdom Marriages
God designed marriage to reflect His divine relationship with the church—a covenant of unity and equality. While husbands and wives have distinct roles within the marriage, these roles are complementary, not hierarchical. Wives are partners, not subordinates. They bring wisdom, strength, and spiritual discernment into the union, contributing equally to its flourishing. The law of love and respect empowers both spouses, affirming their value and purpose within the relationship.
The Empowering Dynamic of Love and Respect
The law of love and respect creates a cycle of empowerment in a Kingdom marriage. When husbands love their wives sacrificially, it fosters trust and security, encouraging wives to express respect freely. Similarly, when wives show respect, it inspires husbands to lead with greater love and integrity. This dynamic is not about power—it’s about service and alignment with God’s will, where both spouses flourish together.
Real-World Examples
Consider the story of a couple facing financial struggles. The husband, feeling overwhelmed, decides to take on a second job. The wife respects his decision and supports him, expressing gratitude for his dedication to their family’s well-being. Her respect fuels his motivation, while his love ensures she feels cared for despite the challenges. Together, they pray and seek God’s guidance, demonstrating the mutual submission described in Ephesians.
In another instance, a wife might feel called to pursue a ministry or career that she’s passionate about. A loving husband encourages her, providing emotional and practical support to help her achieve her goals. His love empowers her to thrive, and her respect for his encouragement deepens their bond. Their shared alignment with God’s purpose brings strength to their marriage and makes their union a testament to His Kingdom.
Conclusion
The misuse of Ephesians 5:22 undermines God’s design for marriage and distorts the beauty of the law of love and respect. In a Kingdom marriage, husbands and wives are equals, serving God together and empowering one another through sacrificial love and heartfelt respect. This mutual partnership reflects the divine relationship between Christ and the church and showcases the transformative power of God’s Word.
What’s your perspective on this? I’d love to hear how these ideas resonate with your understanding of Kingdom marriages.
