A mother's love: Falling Back on our Basic Principles

Celebrating my mother's birthday with a letter to her legacy

Nicole Pinkston " Mrs_Pinky"

Nov 07, 2023

Good morning, Icons,

We are still celebrating Veterans Appreciation month.

At Iconic, we say thank you to all that served.

Today’s newsletter is sponsored by our Veterans Appreciation Award in which we give

every winner a copy of our print book “Breaking Fear”.

“Breaking Fear” is my story of resilience and overcoming even as a soldier for the U.S. Army.

Help us say thank you with a donation of $10 or more at the link below. You will receive a digital copy, too.

Veterans Appreciation Month

A mother's love: Falling Back on our Basic Principles

The most important woman in my life, my momma.

Today is my mother’s birthday. November was a different holiday for us growing up.

There aren’t enough words in the English language to talk about my mother, Mrs. P and all she means to me.

I didn’t even know where to begin this post.

Here are some facts about the woman who birthed me:

She has been a stay-at-home mother, a wife of 40 plus years, a devout Christ studying to be a minister, a full-time public transportation bus driver and even taught college.

My mother has taught me how to balance wit, love, compassion with fiery leadership, knowledge and dedication to those she loves.

She always places others first after her love for God.

She has mastered taking care of six children and being the grandmother to 12.

And her love for my father is endless as she has been his primary caregiver for the last 15 years as his health struggles has heightened.

No one that I have ever heard from has said anything negative about her.

But more than anything, she told me what life all is about valuing the things that matter, letting go of the things that don’t and how to be a friend.

Happy Birthday Mrs. Nancy from our family to you.

I could never sum up everything that I have learned from my mother, but as I was thinking about how we “fall back” for time change this past weekend, I thought it would be interesting to fall back onto many of the lessons I have from her that I carry today.

These principles I have learned help me fall back into the basic values of my upbringing, it carried me through my life as a veteran and help me be a better mother myself.

Resilience: I wasn’t afraid to join the Army, have kids, or anything too tough because I had my mom to talk to often. She would reassure me that I was built for whatever task that came my way and she taught me to always go to God for ever present help. Whenever something bad happened to me or I was in a tough spot, I was always able to look at her example and figure it out or know I would be okay.

In hindsight, many of my troubles would be from me forgetting how much she believes in me and tried to instill confidence in me as a Black woman maneuvering in this world. She showed me to never let my gender or race stop me from being great or her desire of wanting me to be.

Faith: My mom’s faith in Jesus and her constant covering over us, her children, her grandchildren and even our spouses has kept us alive. Many of us have been through so much and her mother’s love has kept us through. Many of us served in the United States Military and we made it all back in one piece. I truly contribute it mostly to her prayers and her consistently being there for each of us in our own way. She taught us about the Lord and how awesome He is as she has sung on the church choir, worked in the church, played music in worship to Him. Her Biblical knowledge is vast, and her memory of the scriptures is one to be revered. She can tell you who did what and when that benefits your personal story.

Education: My mom has always placed high value on learning and not just from books. She also told us the importance of not just obtaining knowledge but wisdom and discernment. She still teaches me when and how to say things, how to apply what I know and when to be quiet. Her education doesn’t just stem from pressing us to have high marks in school but from her believing that we could be okay in this world as she left us go live our lives our way. She also is available to give us tips and tricks for our kids and motivates us to push our own children to greatness. She is a very smart lady with her skills on any board game and so much knowledge I try to take before she leaves here. She tells us often the importance of not only being smart but how we use it.

If only I would be smart enough to listen more.

“For Their Own Good” a new book by Greg Bulla.

Do you know what is going on with the book bans across the country and are a concern parent?

Do you know the history of schoolbook bans or the implications?

Catch the answer to these questions by downloading this latest eBook by Greg Bulla

For Their Own Good

Support: From how we dress, who we marry, our career choices or more, my mother has been very supportive. She would buy our products, taste our food, offer her opinions and tell it like it is even if we get upset to help us win. She blesses us with her wit and her common sense that we still use as adults. She can now tell us those adults’ things that we didn’t understand as kids, and she uses her observations to empower us daily.

When you want to climb the tallest mountain, your mother will make your lunch for you. She is the one who will support your dreams when no one else will. She will also remind you to wear clean underwear. Top 10 Reasons Why Moms Are Important | Psychology Today

Gender roles: My mother never felt like her being a woman was a curse or something lesser than. She uses her womanhood to bless others, to raise kids, to uplift her family and friends and to empower anyone in her space. She never valued herself as lesser in her relationship to my dad (and he honors her often) but she respects his leadership, honors his position and the patriarch and takes her role as mother and grandmother just as seriously. She drove big buses just like my father did, earned her own money over the years, worked tirelessly around the house and has even taught us so many things. She has shown me that being a woman is some kind of secondary role or lesser role but a very important one. The femineity can be strong, hardworking, dedicated and wholesome. That modest isn’t about hiding one’s body but respecting oneself and classy dress is a sign of confidence, respect and honor to God.

Watching my mother work alongside my dad as they worked at the same employer for years made me confident over the years as a working woman. They often confided in each other over their daily jobs, and I watched how they led loving each other first. She taught me basic household things that I would need when I grew up but never just because I’d be a wife and mother, but because those things need to be done. She taught me to ask for help when I needed it and to work hard for those, I love not because of my role but because of my character.

“Loving you is like food to my soul.” -Boyz II Men

Summary

At the very core of who I am, I am a combination of my mother and father.

I could not be more blessed to be a daughter and I pray to be half the woman my mother is.

I laugh each day thinking of how she now gets a kick out of us fussing and complaining about our lives and how she gets to sit back watching us go through it.

She can now pamper the grandbabies and send them on back home to us to get our nerves.

She is an awesome woman, and I am forever blessed for the many years left I will have with her.

Happy Birthday mom.

You taught me how to be Iconic.